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Is this fair?
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Author:  James86134 [ Thu Jun 06, 2013 11:07 pm ]
Post subject:  Is this fair?

So, I got home about an hour ago from school. I've had Half-Yearly's (basically finals) recently and got three of the results back. (Physics, Extension Math and Ancient History).

The three marks:

Physics: 83.5%

Extension Math: 99.5% (Because of a crappy mispelling in which the teacher thought I got something wrong and was too stubborn to just give me the full mark)

Ancient History: 90.5%

As my Mum and I get home, I tell her these results. In order, I tell her Math, History then Physics. She simply says Good Job and Im happy with Math and History. A simple phrase that doesn't explain how she really feels.

Once she reacts to Physics:
She then goes on to lecture me about studying and how I should get a tutor and I should tutor the younger kids as practice for an hour. Then, she decides to take my laptop away for a month. I still have two more subjects to get back. She says that if I don't get above 88% in both, my iPad is gone as well for a month. This ultimately takes all opportunity away from me to go on the forums.

Is this fair? If Yes, Why? Of no, Why?

I really would like you're opinion as I'm basically screaming in my head right now as I barely even got a Congratulations on the other two.

Author:  ChillBill [ Thu Jun 06, 2013 11:39 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Is this fair?

No, it isn't. It sucks. Seriously, you could just be in a bad day. And 84% isn't bad, it's a B. Especially considering how good the others are, the whole thing sucks.
And I usually get 90+ too. But no one would kill me for an 80.

Author:  Haunted Water [ Fri Jun 07, 2013 5:32 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Is this fair?

Getting a B is bad? My grades would give her a stroke. Trust me, she's overreacting.

Author:  SanguinaryScientist [ Fri Jun 07, 2013 6:04 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Is this fair?

Hey man, do your best I understand that you're confused about what your mom is doing but she's doing it to help you become the best that you can (Even thought she's taking it the wrong way)

Make sure you do your best and dont end up like me

I am a student that has, at one time during this year, straight D's (No dirty joke intended)
I pass my grades on the THRESHOLD of failing
My parents dont let me use any sort of computing device
My step dad threw away my computer, the Xbox, PS2, and even SNES is underlock down
If they even SEE me touching the Ipad I might get thrown out of the house

So do your best kids, or you'll end up like me
Dont ask how i'm active on the forums

Author:  GhostPony750 [ Fri Jun 07, 2013 12:49 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Is this fair?

Hmm... that's not right.
a 84% is really great actually, very good.
She's overreacting seriously.
I struggle to even get 75% in Science, but in other grades I get over 80%.
My mom is glad if I get even 70%, and I'm doing my best in my studies.

She's really doing it the wrong way.

Author:  Flaming_Wuzzle [ Sat Jun 08, 2013 11:41 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Is this fair?

Completely fair.

They're your parents, they have the right to determine the conditions under which you get to use the expensive electronics you (likely) were given for free. Just because they have higher standards than other peoples' parents doesn't make it unfair.

Author:  ChillBill [ Sun Jun 09, 2013 1:16 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Is this fair?

Higher standards do not mean that getting a B once in a while is a crime. And sure, they are parents, but the one who these marks affect is James, not them.

Author:  SanguinaryScientist [ Sun Jun 09, 2013 5:28 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Is this fair?

Don't do drugs kids or you'll end up like me......

Author:  Haunted Water [ Sun Jun 09, 2013 7:40 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Is this fair?

^lel
FW has a point. Which, admittedly, is why I think it to be unfair when they withhold my PS3 that I worked for.

Author:  Flaming_Wuzzle [ Sun Jun 09, 2013 2:55 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Is this fair?

ChillBill wrote:
Higher standards do not mean that getting a B once in a while is a crime.

No, that's exactly what higher standards means. If parents set the standard as "nothing below a B+", it's their child's responsibility to hold to that standard or suffer the consequences. The consequences in this case, by the way, are not getting to play with the expensive electronics for a bit. You act like they're beating him.
ChillBill wrote:
And sure, they are parents, but the one who these marks affect is James, not them.

It's as if they want their kid to do well in school so he can get into a good college so he can get a good job and set himself up financially for the rest of his life, and want to motivate him to pay attention to the things that he needs to focus on. :shock:

...Nah, obviously they're just on a power trip and wanted an excuse to make his life miserable in all ways.

Author:  GhostPony750 [ Sun Jun 09, 2013 3:58 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Is this fair?

Well, I kind of disagree with FW here.

Well, it could be fair, but the standard is way too high. I would understand if James actually got below 70%, but 88%.... it's WAY to high. Just saying, 84% is a really good grade.

And what do you want to do as a job James? I actually want to work in car mechanics, and I get over 90% everywhere (but science since the teacher sux). and people are saying that I'm too intelligent to work here. This really confuses me, since it's really what I love to do, and I'm good at it, and it really frustrate me.

So yeah... do what you want to do, don't do something for other people. You may want to work as a police or car mechanics or even scientist, do what you want to do, do what you like.

Author:  DNA [ Sun Jun 09, 2013 5:22 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Is this fair?

I was about to come in and post "this is one of the disadvantages of living under someone else's roof, especially that of your parents", but I think FW just nailed it.

Author:  DragonPhoenix [ Mon Jun 10, 2013 5:49 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Is this fair?

Hey James,

Growing up sometimes I just wanted anyone to tell me I was going well, or that I was doing a great job when I got As on my report cards and yeah it would absolutely kill me when my parents would focus on my lesser results.

The best advice I would give is always study for yourself and not your parents. Don't go failing classes in retaliation, study because you want to get the most out of school knowing that one day it will be worth it. If you're happy with your marks, then don't let your mum's disappointment get to you. If you're not then you can resolve to study harder for next time.

PM me if you want to chat sometime, otherwise Good luck with your studies!

Author:  haleigh [ Mon Jun 10, 2013 6:10 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Is this fair?

I personally don't think it's fair, but your mother obviously thinks you can do better. Trust me, you'll be thanking her later when you're trying to get into a college :)

Author:  ChillBill [ Mon Jun 10, 2013 10:38 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Is this fair?

Flaming_Wuzzle wrote:
ChillBill wrote:
Higher standards do not mean that getting a B once in a while is a crime.

No, that's exactly what higher standards means. If parents set the standard as "nothing below a B+", it's their child's responsibility to hold to that standard or suffer the consequences. The consequences in this case, by the way, are not getting to play with the expensive electronics for a bit. You act like they're beating him.
ChillBill wrote:
And sure, they are parents, but the one who these marks affect is James, not them.

It's as if they want their kid to do well in school so he can get into a good college so he can get a good job and set himself up financially for the rest of his life, and want to motivate him to pay attention to the things that he needs to focus on. :shock:

...Nah, obviously they're just on a power trip and wanted an excuse to make his life miserable in all ways.

Never said they're on a power trip. But it's not the parent who sets the standards, it's the student. If someone studies for the sake of their parents, then good luck being an independent human being. Parents can offer advice or try to motivate. But they must realize that they're not the ones taking the exams anymore. Plus, everyone's allowed a mistake and a second chance. If someone focuses only on the bad parts and refuses to see the rest of the picture, then I pity the victims of their narrow-mindedness. Sure, they might mean well, but that's not the best way to motivate someone. I for one, hate it when people focus only on my bad results. And it doesn't matter if they yell at me, beat me up or take my PC. Punishment is irrelevant. What is relevant is the fact that I damn tried for something. If they wanna evaluate what I did, they can go ahead. But no matter what are their assumptions, I'm the one who sets standards and goals here.

Author:  DNA [ Mon Jun 10, 2013 12:54 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Is this fair?

@Chillbill: This:

Quote:
...Nah, obviously they're just on a power trip and wanted an excuse to make his life miserable in all ways.


was sarcasm.

...I don't deny that there are (aren't?) parents like this but I'm fairly sure that was sarcasm.

Author:  ChillBill [ Mon Jun 10, 2013 1:04 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Is this fair?

Obviously it was sarcasm. And I wanted to emphasize on the fact that I do understand that parents mean good. Their methods, now...

Author:  Mektar [ Mon Jun 10, 2013 7:24 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Is this fair?

Regardless of what anyone else might tell you, the purpose of going to school is to learn things, not to get A's in every class. If you feel that you're learning lots meaningful information, then you have nothing to worry about.

Author:  vaporterra [ Mon Jun 10, 2013 8:45 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Is this fair?

That's totally not cool or fair at all. You almost got a perfect score on one of those tests! She has like national spelling bee standards. That's messed up and I'm sorry dude.

Author:  Guardian1239 [ Tue Jun 11, 2013 5:33 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Is this fair?

I remember the days before all these electronics. .-. Board games are where it's at! <3 I felt like interjecting my sorrow that we consider these devices as more or less "necessary" to enjoy ourselves nowadays.

But on topic, it's a strong reaction to a grade that isn't bad, but some parents feel like they need to help their children focus by taking away distractions. I know I get a lot more done when I have neither video games nor a computer. >_>

Author:  vaporterra [ Tue Jun 11, 2013 10:05 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Is this fair?

Still at the very least if I were the parent I would at least say no labtop for like a couple of days but if my kid is getting those kinds of grades, I definitely wouldn't punish him or her. Maybe entice him or her to do better on his/her weakest subject with some type of reward or I don't know. I'm 17 :P

Author:  Sparrow [ Wed Jun 26, 2013 2:20 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Is this fair?

..................................................................................

Author:  DatVu [ Mon Jul 08, 2013 11:41 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Is this fair?

In reality, op is more upset about the fact that his mother didn't recognize his achievements, not the threat of losing material goods. He expresses it that way, since it's more relative to other people and validates his disappointment. But really, he just wants his mom to be proud of him, because he worked hard.

If he doesn't admit that now, he won't realize it until much later and will probably become the same demanding, judgmental parent his mother is. The best solution for this is to say something to her, instead of to a bunch of strangers who can't do **** about it.

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