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 One last Breath {closed} 

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 One last Breath {closed} 
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Ace Trainer
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Joined: Tue Aug 01, 2006 11:09 am
Posts: 328
Location: Hiding Out Until Things Cool Down...
He sat there............ knowing what was to happen. His thoughts turned to why he joined in the first place. Adventure.......... money....... pokemon catching..... he thought it would be great. Now his life may end becuase of a simple wrong turn. He looked at his abra. His first pokemon and now he would be lost.

The Great War, they called it. It was when team Rocket and Team Galixy teamed up and started using weapons and pokemon to gain control. Many trainers and soldiers a like were sent to battle. Guns were not used much and brought new meaning to the word distruction apon the pokemon world. But the worst part was a record number of deaths were seen that first year, and more to follow. Young Indiana, 14, joined team Omega (part of the resistance, known as the good guys to you people) thinking his life would change. He had no idea what kind of change would happen. He was now on the plains of Hoen, battleing for his life. He was the last of his platoon and the last trainer on the feild.

He looked at his abra, and knew he couldn't let him die. He thought of his friend, seth, at home who refused to join, choosing to instead stay home and train his treeko. He called back his abra into the pokeball and decided to send it to seth. He put it in a package next to his water canteen, and herd the footsteps of Rocket sodiers. He closed his eyes..... and jumped out from behing the rock and pulled the trigger........

Indiana was burried after the war. Right in pallet town. His abra grew to a mighty Alakazam, and seth. seth was the one who avenged his friends death by joining team Omega and uncovering 10 rocket bases durring the war. We summed up the story for time purposses. The pokemon world and the Ultimate Battle of good and evil are still untouched. I thought this was a little bit to show you about the Great War.


I thought this was a fun little thing to show my creativeness but for time purposses I didn't go indepth. sorry. If you like it plz say so but injoy reading it.


Edited: Due to problems with the writing I myself will call this spam and wish for the topic to be deleted ( I know, it's spelt wrong) or locked. If a mod would please do so at the soonest time it would be aoresiated....... uhh...... liked. Thank you.


Last edited by comedianmasta on Sun Sep 24, 2006 5:38 am, edited 2 times in total.



Tue Aug 01, 2006 7:14 pm
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Pokemon Ranger
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Joined: Sun May 07, 2006 2:33 pm
Posts: 716
Location: USA EST
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It's good, you have talent that's for sure. First, I think you meant in your title 'One Last Breath' not 'One Last Breathe.' And you should capitilize 'Seth.' The last thing was you spell Galaxy this way not Galixy. I'm not sure if you did that on purpose.

That's about it, just some itchy twitchy stuff. Keep writing.

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Sat Aug 12, 2006 12:05 pm
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