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 DNA & Ray's Excellent Adventure (Dolo Ruby CMT) Done! 
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ChillBill wrote:
OK, how long do you plan to go without Winona? Or you just couldn't find anyone appropriate for her role?

As long as physically possible, until I get to a point where I literally cannot beat the game without fighting her.
And I already found someone to cast as her. Long time ago, actually.

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Mon Jun 09, 2014 7:28 am
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I noticed in all the chapters past #1, I forgot to put Back to Top tags on each one. I've gone back and fixed those.

And while you're at it, have a new chapter, with the Back to Top tag included!

~~~

[Back to Top]

DNA's Dolo Run of Pokémon Ruby!
Chapter 9: An Even Weirder Bromance


<Ray> DNA
<Ray> wake up DNA
<Ray> wake up man, we have things to do
<+DNA> wait what
<+DNA> where are we?
<Haberdash> we're in Mossdeep City
<Haberdash> don't you remember?
<+DNA> not really
<+DNA> how long was I out for?
<Sacrama> at least a week
<Sacrama> you surfed across route 124, had Habby eat all the trainer's Pokemon
<Sacrama> figuratively
<Sacrama> then you landed here and passed out.
<Sacrama> you haven't even played Golden Sun either during that time.
<+DNA> are you sure I'm not dreaming?
<+DNA> and how do I not remember all this?
<Ray> dolo
<Dunce> From what I recall, the plan is to spar against the twin gym leaders in this city, and explore it for other points of interest.
<Dunce> We will have to travel to the Seafloor Cavern later as well.
<+DNA> really not even sure who to bring for this, though I know at least Ray or Crumpets will have to sit this one out.
<+DNA> probably going to end up going for a Dunce sweep.


(It's true; after the Magma Cult Base, I surfed across Route 124, beat up all the trainers, and then set the game down for at least a week.)

So I'm in Mossdeep City or something, and all I remember about Golden Sun was the last stage I was in involved the words 'pyros unite'. Pretty sure that means there were a lot of explo-Magma Rock. Wow I'm getting close to the end.

I boot up Ruby and one of the women in the Pokemon Center is staring at me. I quietly slip out and explore the city. First there's that boy who will find your Secret Base (I never got around to making one) and some other guy who got a King's Rock from CMP and hands it off to me. Then there's...

<CMP> sup DNA
<+DNA> sup CMP
<+DNA> this is your pad? It looks nice.
<CMP> Why thank you!
<CMP> Since you're here, that reminds me.
<CMP> I should give you this HM08 Dive, so you can progress the plot.
<+DNA> wait, hold up
<+DNA> you're giving me this HM JUST so I can progress the plot?
<CMP> yep.
<+DNA> <3
<CMP> <3
<CMP> I might end up going to that underwater cavern on Route 128. What about you?
<+DNA> I'll have to go there eventually, because the plot demands it
<+DNA> for now, I must fight for the right to use this
<+DNA> see you round.
<CMP> see you! o/
*** DNA has left #pad


Then there's this black belt that can see what kind of PokeBlocks that Pokemon like, at a glance no less! There's a Net Ball by the shoreline, Larry's SUPER cousin that gives me the SUPER Rod, and that Wingull that took off in Fortree. I know if you chase it back down you get a Mental Herb, which I'll have to do eventually. But not yet!

Next I take a look around the Space Center. Yuri Cosmos is nowhere to be seen, and that saddens me. There is a Sun Stone to be had, and the guy who says "the rocket launched successfully" instead says "the rocket's launch is imminent" if the Almighty Battery is dead. I knew that guy had something to do with the battery.

And now for the insanely tricky part.

<ChillBill> yo DNA
<+DNA> yo ChillBill
<ChillBill> so I'm curious, which version of Mossdeep's gym puzzle do you like better?
<+DNA> oh, the one in R/S for sure
<+DNA> intricate conveyor belt puzzles are very fun. teleporters have been done to death.
<ChillBill> hm, fair enough.
<ChillBill> sure you're up to this gym, though? the levels are pretty high.
<+DNA> no.
<+DNA> but I will try anyway.
<ChillBill> spoken like a true doloer
<ChillBill> good luck


He was right; the first trainer I fight has a lone weak sexual object, at level 37. This worries me because that's Ray's level, and Ray's my highest. So I will need to farm the junior trainers for what they've got.

<Sacrama> there's a whole army of them and it's creeping me out
<Haberdash> DAMN YOU SYNCHRONIZE, REFLECTING MY STUN SPORE
<Haberdash> AND THEN KO'ING ME LATER WITH PSYCHIC
<Haberdash> stupid shipper!


Fourth Wall? What's that?
I tried this strategy against a Natu later and that didn't work either. Sacrama seemed to do a little better. Maybe I'll use him. ...Yep, Encore OP.

I fight past the countless armies of shippers and other misfits (they seem to be very fond of Calm Mind setups), and when I get there, I am somewhat surprised. That's fine; I have a rather surprising strategy of my own.

<+DNA> !challenge
<@safariblade> Hehehe... Were you surprised?
<@Bippa> Fufufu... Were you surprised?
<@safariblade> That there are two Gym Leaders?
<@Bippa> That there are two Gym Leaders?
<@safariblade> We're twins!
<@Bippa> We're twins!
<@safariblade> We don't need to talk because...
<@Bippa> We can each determine what...
<@safariblade> The other is thinking...
<@Bippa> All in our minds!
<@safariblade> This combination of ours...
<@Bippa> Can you beat it?
<+DNA> what I'm even more surprised is why PX and KX aren't Tate and Liza as well
<@safariblade> oh please
<@Bippa> those two are always arguing with each other.
<@safariblade> not like us
<@Bippa> we are so N*Sync
* DNA slaps safariblade and Bippa
<@safariblade> ow
<@Bippa> ow
<+DNA> you both deserved that slap.
<@safariblade> yeah, probably.
<@Bippa> so DNA, you think you're up to this?
<+DNA> no.
<+DNA> but I will try anyway.
<@safariblade> spoken like a true doloer
<@Bippa> lgi


I'm staring down a lv. 42 pair of Lunatone and Solrock, quite possibly one of the hardest (if not the hardest) fight in this entire game. Ray is still only lv. 37, so I can't come close to them in levels. Instead, I try something more unorthodox, leading with Dunce (lv. 35) and Haberdash (lv. 34). Dunce is essentially required, because he'll be cranking out damage like crazy. Haberdash is there mostly as support, but I have Sacrama waiting.

Solrock goes first and orders a Flamethrower on Haberdash, putting her in the red and burning her. Lunatone goes shortly thereafter and uses Hypnosis, but misses. Dunce uses Surf for a very large chunk, and Haberdash, as her parting shot, uses Stun Spore on Solrock, and hits, before fainting herself. Next to the ring is Crumpets, also at lv. 35. I know he can't do much damage-wise, so I have him Astonish Lunatone, hoping for a flinch. It doesn't, and Lunatone then puts Dunce to sleep. Using the power of ITEMS, I sacrifice Crumpets' turn for an Awakening, opening up Dunce to use Surf. With that, the Solrock is down and Lunatone's in the red. As a parting shot, Lunatone uses Psychic on Crumpets, which hits, KO'ing him. I'm now 2 down, but it's not a big deal, as Sacrama (lv. 34) offers to take the lead next. Bippa uses a Hyper Potion, and again, Dunce uses Surf, putting Lunatone in the orange, while Sacrama Encores, locking it into Psychic. This fight is mine. Lunatone then used Psychic on Sacrama (not Dunce, no one knows why), and Sacrama didn't even need to Mirror Coat since the ensuing Surf was a KO. And the fight is over!

<+DNA> I am mostly gypped because none of my guys gained a level off this.
<@safariblade> What?! Our combination...
<@Bippa> Was shattered!
<@safariblade> It can't be helped. You've won...
<@Bippa> So, in recognition, take this.
* Bippa gives Mind Badge
* safariblade gives TM04 Calm Mind
<+DNA> guys you can stop the twin thing now. I get it.
<@safariblade> but it's...
<@Bippa> ...so fun!
* DNA facepalm
<+DNA> I'm just gonna leave so you can get back to your bromance
<@safariblade> say hi to CMP!
<@Bippa> he gets along with you well I've heard!
<+DNA> and we aren't nearly as crazy as you.
<+DNA> Right, thanks for the battle, but I must be going!
*** DNA has left #gym


This chapter is too short. Let's go do something! Not plot, though. I'm saving that all for next chapter. The closest place, obviously, is Route 125 and Shoal Cave. The trainers there are none too hard, but due to the battery, Shoal Cave is stuck permanently in high-tide mode. All the Snorunt drowned. (Good thing no one suggested that, or this run would be impossible.) But that barely gave me anything at all experience wise, so next I'll need to raid Routes 124 and 126 for STUFF. This involves Dive, so I have to leave someone behind. I choose Dunce, so I can load all the Water HMs on Slave 1. It's a brilliant idea.

Here's a list of items I find!
(Assume I swap all the shards away for stones)
(no, don't expect me to mark the specific puddles)

  • Heart Scale (Route 124)
  • Green Shard (Route 126 - go through 124 to find it)
  • Big Pearl (Route 124)
  • Pearl (Route 124)
  • Yellow Shard (Route 124)
  • Carbos (Route 124)
  • Blue Shard (Route 124)
  • Green Shard (Route 124)
  • Heart Scale (Route 124)
  • Red Shard (Route 124)
  • Calcium (Route 124)
  • Ultra Ball (Route 126)
  • Stardust (Route 126)
  • Heart Scale (Route 126)
  • Iron (Route 126)
  • Pearl (Route 126)
  • Yellow Shard (Route 126)
  • Big Pearl (Route 126)
  • Blue Shard (Route 126)

And then I stomped every trainer in sight. No weak sexual objects were around at all. Disappointed, I dive underwater near to this white rock and surface in Sootopolis City.

* Dunce plays "Jaws" music.
<Sacrama> lol


The gym door is locked, which makes me super sadface, meaning that I cannot challenge him until the plot demands it. I go explore the town, hoping there's something ELSE I can do. The first house I go into has a woman who says I'm her first guest in a long time, and makes a gift of a large Wailmer Doll. I'm confused, since the city itself isn't really starved for people, but a gift is a gift. The next house has two brothers fighting over whether Barboach or Shroomish is bigger--

<Haberdash> step aside bitches
<Haberdash> I got this.
* Haberdash pose.
<+DNA> I'm mostly sad because Dunce can't really show off to the other guy
<Ray> Wait, aren't Barboach and Shroomish the same si--
<Crumpets> Hush.
<Shroombro> 12.6 inches, is it?
<Shroombro> Hmm... I've seen a bigger Shroomish than this one.
<Sacrama> lololol
<Sacrama> get rekt
<Haberdash> wha...
<Haberdash> ......
<Haberdash> IT'S NOT FAIR ;-;
* Haberdash runs off and cries
<Crumpets> ...we should probably find her before she accidentally drowns.
<+DNA> I agree.


Thankfully, on those stubby legs, she did not get very far. I picked her up and we kept moving.

<Haberdash> tell me a story, DNA
<Haberdash> tell me that it's going to be all better
<+DNA> only 19 more levels to go
<Haberdash> ......


I was tempted to say 'in your dreams, maybe', but that wouldn't have been nearly as funny.

Come to think of it, Sootopolis is formed from the crater of a dormant volcano, but there are no real feeds deep into the earth...except for the Cave of Origin. ...hint, hint. Everyone in this city is essentially a shut-in, because the only ways out are to Fly or Dive. They seem nice, though.

Now for the left side. I get 2 berries off of Kiri - and never again, due to Almighty Battery not paying attention to me.

<Sacrama> s-senpai~
<+DNA> I walked right into that one


A few people recount stories of Mt Pyre and the Cave of Origin being connected, and one woman asked me if I have any fans. ...That's not even a question. A Black Belt with a Kecleon is very nice and gives me TM31 Brick Break; hopefully this will come in handy! ...though probably not because my other Fighting-types get stronger moves. And lastly, there is the Cave of Origin, the entrance to which is guarded by some old dude.

<+DNA> yo
<+DNA> can I take a look inside?
<HauntedWater> lolno
<HauntedWater> go back to fighting nobodies, protag
<+DNA> okay, first you're jailbait, now you're the exact opposite?
<+DNA> what's with you?
<HauntedWater> I exist only to create salt
<+DNA> this would explain why Sootopolis looks the way it does
<+DNA> hell
<+DNA> it might as well be a SALT VOLCANO
<HauntedWater> I see you're catching on
<HauntedWater> Sootopolis was created from all the leftover salt all the noobfags on the internet produce when they get buttmad from arguing with each other
<HauntedWater> when the interwebz were young, there wasn't much, but then 2006 happened and the salt just kept coming
<+DNA> this game came out in 2002
<HauntedWater> it's retroactive salt
<+DNA> your explanation makes no sense
<HauntedWater> neither does your face
<HauntedWater> anyway
<HauntedWater> it just got to the point where the salt, like the struggle, was real, and we had a salt eruption
<HauntedWater> the salt sprayed everywhere, drying up land and sea alike, draining the life away from whatever it touched
<HauntedWater> mass havoc reigned and nothing was spared. the eruption was relentless and spared no one. and when all the salt finally dried, sootopolis city came into being.
<+DNA> wow
<+DNA> sounds like Fletchscrub getting mad
<+DNA> I choose to blame him for Sootopolis existing
<HauntedWater> I do too
<+DNA> welp, dat plot
<HauntedWater> o/
*** DNA has left #sootopolis


I temporarily swap out Haberdash for Dunce, having Slave 1 handy for diving - because let's face it, she won't last long against Magma Cult. I'm also going to take the cheater's way out and skip the entirety of Routes 127 and 128, taking them on later.

End of Chapter 9!

DNA's Team So Far:

{blaziken} Ray lv. 38
{crobat} Crumpets lv. 36
{shroomish} Haberdash lv. 35
{whiscash} Dunce lv. 35
{wobbuffet} Sacrama lv. 35
{meditite} Footloose lv. 35

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Fri Jun 13, 2014 11:58 am
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Oh, you <3
You know me too well DNA-Zama~

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Fri Jun 13, 2014 12:26 pm
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Wait, there's a different puzzle in Mossdeep in R/S? And Tate&Liza don't have Xatu and Claydol?
That's almost too easy.

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Fri Jun 13, 2014 10:27 pm
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DNA wrote:
He was right; the first trainer I fight has a lone weak sexual object, at level 37. This worries me because that's Ray's level, and Ray's my highest. So I will need to farm the junior trainers for what they've got.

<Sacrama> there's a whole army of them and it's creeping me out
<Haberdash> DAMN YOU SYNCHRONIZE, REFLECTING MY STUN SPORE
<Haberdash> AND THEN KO'ING ME LATER WITH PSYCHIC
<Haberdash> stupid shipper!


Fourth Wall? What's that?


THERE I AM, BEHIND DAT FOURTH WALL.
I HAVE A PLACE IN DIS.


DNA wrote:
I fight past the countless armies of shippers and other misfits


That's me too!
*Ecstatic*

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Fri Jun 13, 2014 10:52 pm
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ChillBill wrote:
Tate&Liza don't have Xatu and Claydol?
That's almost too easy.

I know right. o_O Well, in Emerald, this gym is simply a huge mess, really horrifying. They keep switching Pokemon, confuse ray, hypnosis, and that claydoll is a tank. gotta love playing with a Sceptile.

Edit: 999th post. :shock:

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Sat Jun 14, 2014 7:55 am
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@ChillBill (and GhostPony): In Emerald, the difficulty of the Tate & Liza fight itself is upped considerably. They are given a Xatu and Claydol in addition to the Lunatone and Solrock they already have, and they spam Earthquake a plenty. Keeping with the theme, all of their team still retains Levitate or is immune to Ground-type in some way.
However, the strategy remains very much the same, both what they use and how to beat them. They're harder in Emerald, true (mostly because of the 2 added Pokemon, which are much harder than Lunatone or Solrock), but they are still quite challenging in R/S, especially for those unprepared for doubles.

The puzzle is also a conveyor belt puzzle (instead of a rotating floor puzzle), with switches that change the path you take. Going the wrong way usually parks you right in front of a trainer. The corresponding Trick House puzzle (#6) also matches the theme - in Emerald it's a rotating floor puzzle, while in R/S it's a conveyor belt puzzle - in much the same fashion as the gym, albeit more complicated.

Speaking of which, I just beat Winona and am now in the process of doing all the various sidequests I didn't do before, before I take on the League. This includes the Trick House mazes 5-7.

words words words

@CuteKirlia: I don't get it. You're supposed to get mad that I'm making fun of you at every moment. ...No matter, I'm not even close to being done at making fun of you, and your ambiguous gender.
But ah well, at least you noticed, which is what I was going for.

<Sacrama> s-senpai~
<+DNA> I don't recall allowing you to speak, bitch

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Sat Jun 14, 2014 12:33 pm
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DNA wrote:
@ChillBill (and GhostPony): In Emerald, the difficulty of the Tate & Liza fight itself is upped considerably. They are given a Xatu and Claydol in addition to the Lunatone and Solrock they already have, and they spam Earthquake a plenty. Keeping with the theme, all of their team still retains Levitate or is immune to Ground-type in some way.

I know. I had a team with Blaziken, Golem and generally stuff that easily had their butt kicked. I lost like ten times before I beat them.
Well, Emerald was the first Pokemon game I played. Looking back, I could have beaten them the first or second time, but at that point, they just seemed to me like the hardest Leaders in existence.

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Sat Jun 14, 2014 10:40 pm
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but when I do, none of them are break dancing.

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Sun Jun 15, 2014 8:08 pm
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To whoever suggested Breloom, I hate you.
As of this posting, I'm level-grinding before the Elite Four and it's painful. "Only 7 more levels to go", as I like to teasingly tell Habby, but she's holding everyone up. Sacrama is a probable exception as he's in the daycare and a few levels behind (level 45, to be accurate), but still...Habby is holding everyone up. I could take them on right now if I wasn't aiming for Spore Breloom.
This had better be worth it.

Edit: I might as well tell you now - there are projected to be 14 chapters in all, and that includes 1 very brief post-game one.

But enough of my depressing thoughts - here's a new chapter.
Oh, whaddya know - this is the one with plot.

~~~

[Back to Top]

DNA's Dolo Run of Pokémon Ruby!
Chapter 10: Magma Cult VS Spoon Pirates 2: The Saltening


Yeah, you read the title. I was really tempted to put 'Electric Boogaloo' in it, but I have decency.

So, remember when I said I was taking the cheater's way out? Well, the dive cavity on Route 127 starts right at where Routes 126 and 127 connect (which is also not that far from Mossdeep either) and goes all the way, uninterrupted and without wild encounters, down the route and into Route 128, where the entrance to the Seafloor Cavern is. There are also a few items to be snagged as well!

Wait, false alarm. It's further east of where 126 and 127 connect. That one is a much smaller one. Everything else I said is correct, though.

<+DNA> hey look
<+DNA> Submarine Explorer 1
<+DNA> looks like we found Kaiser's ride, guys
<Dunce> you realize we're underwater, right?
<+DNA> olol
<+DNA> k let's surface then we talk
*** DNA has entered #seafloorcavern


It's weird that, when I first played this game (I was 12 or so) I didn't think to use Dive to resurface right where the submarine was (instead I went outside the tiny little cave and ended up back on Route 128); it took me quite a while to figure it out - but I had no problems whatsoever resurfacing in Sootopolis, which I did long before in that playthrough. To this day I can't explain it.

<+DNA> oh look
<+DNA> it has the same music as Mt Chimney and the Weather Institute's hostile takeover
<+DNA> this most likely means Magma Cult is here
<+DNA> let's go inside
<Ray> uh, DNA?
<Ray> we're going to need Rock Smash for this
<+DNA> really? damn!
<+DNA> okay I need to go back and get Slave 0. Who volunteers to stay behind?
<Ray> I volunteer Sacrama
<Crumpets> I agree.
<Dunce> ^
<Footloose> ^
<Slave1> ^
<Sacrama> I hate you all
<Footloose> put a sock in it, you big punching bag
<Sacrama> why can't YOU stay behind?
<Footloose> because without a girl, this whole party just becomes weird and gay.
<Footloose> You need at least ONE chick. And I'm your chick.
* Footloose shifts hips.
<Footloose> You, on the other hand, have to lose half your HP to do anything, and DNA hasn't picked up any Leftovers. Right now you are the weakest link.
<Footloose> Come on, bro. Take one for the team.
<Dunce> Her logic is absolutely flawless.
<Ray> ^
<Crumpets> ^
<+DNA> welp, brb PC


It is indeed a scientific fact that a party of mostly males needs at least 1 female to balance it out, otherwise the whole thing becomes weird and gay. I would leave Dunce behind, but he pretty much roflstomps Magma Cult with STAB Earthquake and Surf, both of which will serve me well. And Footloose does have flawless logic.

<KoN> YOU again?
<+DNA> well, at least now you guys will be gone for good
<+DNA> and your suffering will end!
<KoN> We're the last clones left...
<KoN> We have to at least PRETEND to try
<+DNA> that's nice


That guy opened with a lv. 37 Poochyena. Granted, that means their average levels are above mine, but it's Magma Cult, so I don't need to be worried. The hilarious bit is, when he lost, he said "I want to go home...". Fitting.

<Meaty> before I die
<Meaty> I want one last wish
<+DNA> if it's 'play Vanguard', the answer's no
<Meaty> damn.
<Meaty> worth a shot.


Ray just OHKOs stuff with just Double Kick; it's amazing. The next grunt upon losing said "Losing makes me sore!" which is also fitting. I waited for Sacrama to say 'kinky', but he's boxed. Sucks to be him!

I want to explore every last bit of this place so I can roflstomp every Magma Cultist I see. The hardest bit is the side path right by the entrance, since a mis-step can kick you back out of the dungeon. Sillier still, when you get to the bit where the two paths connect, you have to exit and re-enter the room from the 'correct' way in order to progress. Then it diverges AGAIN, though at that point it doesn't matter, though one of the water puzzles can kick you back to the start.

(From the room with the criss-crossing paths with boulders at the intersections, take the path off to the right; it won't send you back to the entrance if you mess up.)

(Then, when you get to the room with the criss-crossing boulders, start on the right, and push the bottom-left boulder down 1 space to make it easier. Then, push the top-left boulder up 1 space, into the corner. Walk north 1 space and east 1 space, then face south, and push that boulder down 1 space. Walk south 1 and east 1, then push that boulder you're facing east 1 space. Walk east 1 and north 1, then turn east, and push that boulder into the wall. You should be past this puzzle now.)

<Hurricane> You again?
<Hurricane> How did you get here without a submarine?
<+DNA> HMs, bitch
<+DNA> also, Gyarados
<Hurricane> How did you even fit through that entrance with a Gyarados?
<+DNA> game logic
<+DNA> ...that is literally the only explanation I have.
<Hurricane> damn.
<+DNA> your leader is up ahead, isn't he?
<+DNA> I have a score to settle with him.
<Hurricane> I'm under contract not to reveal his name, but...
<Hurricane> when you see him, it won't be pretty.
<+DNA> In that case, let's fight for the last time, and I can kick you out of this game.
<Hurricane> I couldn't be happier.


PMJ was none the wiser. Courtney/Hurricane opens with a lv. 38 Camerupt, which is 2HKO'd by Ray's Double Kick (though it did get a Rock Slide off). Her Mightyena's also lv. 38, and it's crit by the first half of Ray's Double Kick. Ray crits a lot, it seems. And with that, Hurricane is expelled from this universe. Tabitha is nowhere to be seen, probably because I pushed him into the water and he wasn't rescued since everyone left the cult hideout.

After her is 1 more boulder puzzle. At this point, Ray's Cleanse Tag apparently stops working, because I'm being swarmed by Zubat. Here's how to clear this puzzle:

~At the bottom set of 3, push the left and right ones up 1 square. Push the middle one to the left or right 1 square (doesn't matter which way).
~Walk forward into the new opening. You should have 2 boulders on your left and 2 on your right. Push the boulder to your north 1 space north.
~Walk forward (north) 1 square. Push the boulders to your left and right 1 square each (into the wall). At this point, there should be 5 boulders in a horizontal line ahead of you.
~Counting from the left, push the 2nd and 4th boulders one square north each (into the wall). Then push the 3rd (middle) boulder either left or right 1 square. The door should now be open to you. Your reward is a misty room with TM26 Earthquake.

<+DNA> ooh, mist.
<+DNA> is there a hint there's plot up ahead?
<+DNA> I hope it's cherry flavored!
<Footloose> That makes no sense.
<+DNA> no you
<Ray> hey guys
<Ray> um
<Ray> is it normal for lava to be underwater?
<+DNA> No; why?
<Ray> because there's a very big pool of lava ahead.
<Ray> and there's what looks like a fossilized bird inside of it.
<+DNA> A fossilized bird? okay what
<+DNA> since when does Groudon look like a bir-
<+DNA> ... ...
<+DNA> that's not Groudon, is it
<@MagmaBoss> No, it's not.
<+DNA> ...you!
<@MagmaBoss> You're right; it's not Groudon at all.
<@MagmaBoss> Behold! See how beautiful it is, the sleeping form of the powerful Fletchling!
<+DNA> Fletchling?
<+DNA> the guy I drowned at the end of Dolo Pearl?
<@MagmaBoss> Yes! The very same.
<+DNA> wat
<@MagmaBoss> After you drowned him, he sunk to the depths of the ocean, where his dormant body was carried here, to the Seafloor Cavern. I have waited so long for this day to come...
<@MagmaBoss> It surprises me, how you've managed to chase me here. But that's all over now.
<+DNA> you know what surprises me more? you.
<+DNA> I can feel it, the grudge coming from you. You hate me so much...from something I did in Sinnoh. And I suppose you both hate me for similar reasons...
<+DNA> enough so that you would try to use the Blue Orb to reawaken him.
<@MagmaBoss> Yes, but there's more. Dread Lord Fletchling caused mass destruction in his wake back in times of yore, raining terror, destruction, and dryness down from the skies. Everything was desecrated; nothing was safe!
<+DNA> ...
<+DNA> ohgawd
<+DNA> the salt IS real
<@MagmaBoss> Yes it is! Together Fletchling and I will drown Hoenn, your favourite region, in a storm of salt! And for the realization of my dream, you must disappear now!
<+DNA> you despicable...
* DNA reaches out his hand
<+DNA> take off...that STUPID hood!


... ...
I should have seen this coming...
...but now it's too late, isn't it...

<+DNA> wait, no way...
<+DNA> you're...!
<Dunce> A friend of yours, DNA?
<Footloose> I don't recognize him - you two have a history?
<Crumpets> DNA, he chased us all the way here from Sinnoh?
<Crumpets> Wasn't there a phrase you used to describe him, when he committed a despicable act?
<+DNA> you... you...
<+DNA> SCUMBAG TEAPOT!!


Magma Cult Leader Teapot would like to battle.

His opener lv. 41 Mightyena used Swagger on Footloose, who bravely offered to take the lead, causing her following Hi Jump Kick to be an OHKO. Sadly she couldn't carry that on, as he sent out a lv. 41 Crobat next. I responded in kind with my own Crobat, who despite being 5 levels lower, still outsped and used Confuse Ray. Teapot decided to go on the offensive right away, using Wing Attack, but the level difference is a bit too big for me to just go all in. Besides, it's Crumpets.

It doesn't take long for Teapot to drop a Super Potion (before his own Crobat even hit orange, actually), but then Crumpets' Wing Attack scored a crit, dropping the other Crobat in the orange. This was followed up with a 2nd Super Potion. (I didn't see a 3rd.) Repeated Wing Attacks eventually cause Teapot's Crobat to crumble. His last Pokemon is a lv. 43 Camerupt, and to put him out of his misery, I let Dunce handle this. He does so flawlessly - Surf OHKOs. And with that...he's done.

<@Teapot> dammit!
<@Teapot> this was my one chance to prove myself better than you!
<@Teapot> without you ninja'ing me or screwing everything up!
<@Teapot> I beat you to the punch with EVERYTHING! And I STILL lost!
<@Teapot> Pride must really enjoy watching me suffer...
<+DNA> I'm pretty sure Pride's drunk off his ass
<+DNA> I know this because he hasn't picked up his phone in ages
<@Teapot> but it's not over yet.
<@Teapot> You may have beaten me, but that doesn't mean I can't drown Hoenn in salt!
* Teapot holds up the Blue Orb
<Fletchling> CHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRP
*** Fletchling has left #seafloorcavern
<@Teapot> he just ran off!?
<@Teapot> is the warranty on this thing expired!?
<+DNA> them mythological artifacts
<+DNA> can't do anything with them once their 3000-year warranty expires amirite?
<@Teapot> hm, looks like i'm getting a call from the Meaty clones outside
<@Teapot> yes, what is it?
<@Teapot> there's salt raining from the sky?
<@Teapot> well, yeah. we just awakened Fletchling. of course salt is raining from the sky.
<@Teapot> what!?
<@Teapot> it's accompanied by intense sunlight?
<@Teapot> it's causing everyone to sweat profusely?
<@Teapot> all the salt is causing your Vanguard cards to warp out of near-mint condition!?
<@Teapot> FFS NO ONE CARES ABOUT VANGUARD
<+DNA> HA
<+DNA> GET SALT, MEATY
<+DNA> LITERALLY
<@Teapot> Hold your position and monitor the situation!
<@Teapot> stupid clones
<@Teapot> stupid expired warranty
<@Teapot> IF YOU HAD ACTUALLY PAID THAT FINE OF 1 MILLION DOLLARS, DNA
<@Teapot> WAY BACK IN TWINLEAF TOWN
<@Teapot> I WOULDN'T HAVE TO BE SO CHEAP
<+DNA> ...exactly how is this my fault
<@Teapot> if you think about it, pretty much EVERYTHING so far is your fault
<Ray> you know? I think he's right
<Ray> you're like a villain protagonist
<Ray> beating up every NPC you see with no thought to their safety, and taking their money
<+DNA> in short, every Pokemon game ever
<+DNA> get salt, fanbase
<+DNA> join me in Hoenn where I may drink your ever-saltier tears
*** Spoon_Pirates have joined #seafloorcavern
<@HeavenlySpoon> What have you wrought?
<@HeavenlySpoon> Teapot... You've finally awoken Fletchling, haven't you?
<@HeavenlySpoon> What will happen to the world if this salt continues for all eternity?
<+DNA> This would be tragic if it didn't sound so silly
<@HeavenlySpoon> The world's seas will all dry up and disappear...
<+DNA> or just become like the Dead Sea
<+DNA> where nothing lives and everything floats
<+DNA> goodbye, HMs 3 and 8
<@Teapot> What are you saying?
<@Teapot> The Blue Orb should let me control Fletchling... That can't be possible...
<@HeavenlySpoon> Did you check the warranty?
<@Teapot> ...
<+DNA> LOL
<+DNA> I was joking but I didn't know I was right
<@HeavenlySpoon> Regardless, we don't have the time to argue about it here!
<@HeavenlySpoon> Get outside and see for yourself! See if what you've wrought is the world that you desired!
<@HeavenlySpoon> DNA, come on, you have to get out of here, too!


As per Spoon's beckoning, we all head outside. The sun is ludicrously bright outside and shows no signs of stopping, but as was spoken before, salt is falling from the sky, everywhere. Packets of salt (hahaha) are starting to build up into small piles, mostly on the eddies, spilling into the sea. The depth of the water has decreased as well, due to the salt not dissolving as fast as it's precipitating.

<@Teapot> this
<@Teapot> this can't be real
<+DNA> oh, but it is, my friend.
<+DNA> the salt is real.
<@HeavenlySpoon> Do you understand now, Teapot? Do you finally see how disastrous your dream turned out to be?
<@HeavenlySpoon> We have to hurry! We have to do something before the situation goes completely out of control!
<+DNA> I agree
<+DNA> not only will everyone in Hoenn be totally buttmad about everything, but salt jokes will abound.
<+DNA> and that would get very boring very fast.
<@HeavenlySpoon> DNA... We, the Spoon Pirates, had been pursuing Magma Cult to prevent this from happening. You've been very helpful, but I fear the worst has happened... It's gone too far for someone like you to manage...
<@HeavenlySpoon> Leave things to us, and get out of here while you still can!
<+DNA> the guy who drinks salty tears for a living?
<+DNA> bitch please
<+DNA> I can handle Fletchscrub
<+DNA> Believe in me, who believes in myself.
<@HeavenlySpoon> I certainly hope you're right. This defies belief... A super-dreadful Pokemon... Its power is unbelievable. It has upset the balance of the interwebs...
*** CMP has joined #route
<CMP> DNA! what the hell's going on?
<CMP> there's salt everywhere and riots are breaking out in the streets!
<+DNA> apparently Fletchling floated all the way here after he drowned
<+DNA> after Teapot forcibly woke him up, he intensified the sun and caused it to rain endless salt from the sky
<+DNA> come to think of it, this means Sootopolis City will get even bigger
<CMP> if Fletchling isn't stopped, the whole world will be salty.
<Ray> pffffffffft
<Ray> I can't believe you can say that with a straight face
<CMP> It's not easy.
<CMP> Speaking of Sootopolis...the salt cloud seems to be centered there. Maybe that's where Fletchling is hiding?
<+DNA> wouldn't surprise me.
<CMP> I'll go there ahead of you. Meet me there when you're ready. Be careful - with someone who can just generate salt at will, this will not be an easy fight.
*** CMP has left #route
<+DNA> welp guys
<+DNA> know what we're going to do next?
<Dunce> Stop the salt?
<+DNA> later
<Dunce> Later!?
<+DNA> we need to train you guys up first.
<+DNA> besides, I actually feed on salt, so it's not a big deal.
<+DNA> we'll go train on a few of the places we missed, and then once that's all done, we'll go stop the salt cloud. sound good?
<Footloose> You really should watch your sodium intake.
<Ray> I forgot about your tendency to make people salty.
<+DNA> and there's another salt pun right on schedule.
<+DNA> welp, time to go


I'm a horrible person, postponing ending the apocalypse in favor of experience points. Get salt, pun intended.

I only need to explore Routes 127 and 128 for this, and since the sun is shining brightly (and I'm forever shocked why there is never any natural bright sunlight in Hoenn - just intense rain), this is a good opportunity for Ray to just OHKO all of the things. And since I am awesome, I will also list what items I find that are not underwater (all I found was a Star Piece and a Heart Scale, iirc). Like the last one, this isn't in any particular order.

  • HP Up (Route 127, underwater)
  • Carbos (Route 127, req. Dive)
  • Red Shard (Route 127, underwater)
  • Zinc (Route 127)
  • Pearl (Route 128, underwater)
  • Protein (Route 128, underwater)

I lied.

I also attempted to get into Ever Grande City, but then I remembered Waterfall was needed. HA gg DNA

<Sacrama> and more salt fell from the heavens


What I find weird is in Mossdeep, as far as I can tell, no one has any different dialogue during this drought. During the training fights, I had Ray use Blaze Kick on a Gloom, and as usual, the drought was in effect. Feels good, man. Also...

<Footloose> Hey guys, I found these bell-bottom pants lying around
<Footloose> How do I look?
<+DNA> Not bad honestly, though I can't help but feel you lose something if you put them on.
<Footloose> You think so? But it's not that big of a deal...
<Haberdash> WAIT STOP
<Haberdash> please, not yet
<Haberdash> if my only friend gets buff before me, I'll feel even worse. would you mind just waiting until I can catch up?
<Footloose> ...all right, but I don't want to put this off for too long.
<+DNA> If this is what you wish.
* DNA presses B button.


I think that's the first time I've seen that happen. Whattagal. Not long after that, we're finished. I have to double back to Mossdeep City because I forgot I need Dive to get back into Sootopolis. Accursed HMs. Thankfully, Slave 1 and Whiscash traded off without complaint.

Okay, NOW things are different. Everyone, except for the Pokemon Center and Mart attendants, now has different dialogue, and everyone's houses are shut tight - nobody's outside; the only people you can talk to are those inside the Poke Centers and Marts, and ...well, these people that progress the plot.

<CMP> DNA!
<+DNA> CMP!
<CMP> What took you so long?
<+DNA> I was...
* DNA flex
<+DNA> ...working out my mental muscles.
<CMP> Nice.
<CMP> Anyway, there's someone I'd like you to talk to.
<@bacon> DNA?
<@bacon> So it was you who witnessed the start of the Saltening?
<+DNA> the SALTENING?
<+DNA> omglol
<@bacon> yes
<@bacon> I came up with the name myself!!
<+DNA> nice
<+DNA> so how's baconlocke?
<@bacon> maybe later
<@bacon> anyway, he who holds the orb is the one who can stop the power of the Saltening
<@bacon> GIVE IT TO ME
<+DNA> NEVER
* DNA flees
* bacon chases
* bacon trips and falls
<@bacon> O n O
* DNA watches as a small pile of salt falls directly onto bacon's head
<+DNA> okay why did HW transform from an old man into now TWO women?
<HauntedWater> u mad?
<HauntedWater> the salt is real
* DNA looks behind him to the fallen bacon
<+DNA> the salt is real indeed
<+DNA> and now I must go
<+DNA> before he wakes up again
<CMP> I'll cover you! Go, bro!
<+DNA> I SHALL
<+DNA> MY PLANET NEEDS ME


I didn't use Flash because Flash is for pansies.

*** DNA has entered #caveoforigin
<Fletchling> CHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRP
<+DNA> well that's not ominous in the slightest
<Fletchling> CHIRP CHIRP MOTH******ER
<Fletchling> PRAISE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
<Ray> That is the creepiest-sounding bird I have ever heard in my life.
<+DNA> he's also very annoying.
<Crumpets> Perhaps he is seeking vengeance on the one who drowned him?
<+DNA> I'm pretty sure that's exactly why.
<+DNA> and the deeper we go, the more salt there i-oh look HM07 Waterfall
<Footloose> He should cut down on his sodium intake.
<Dunce> Wow, there's Mawile in here? Who knew?
<Sacrama> The smell of salt in here is so thick, it's making me want to sneeze...
<Haberdash> Now we're pretty much WALKING in salt...
<Ray> what if, by the events of Emerald, the salt buildup in here became so great that the Cave of Origin was reduced to only 2 floors?
<+DNA> it's scary how pretty much everything in this game can be explained away with salt.


The Saltening changed all our lives.
And finally we're at the bottom.

<Fletchling> DNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
<Fletchling> PRAISE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
<Fletchling> YOU DROWNED ME IN WATER
<Fletchling> SO I WILL DROWN YOU IN SALT
<Fletchling> I AM DREAD LORD FLETCHLING
<+DNA> Still as scrubby as ever, I see...
<+DNA> But you are naught but a Pokemon before me now...
<+DNA> and just as liable to fall!
<+DNA> Prepare to sleep in my box forever!!
<Fletchling> CHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRP
<Fletchling> GET SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALT!!!!


At this point I felt like playing Golden Sun, but I already passed Magma Rock and my opportunity to make a joke about pyros. I did that last chapter anyway. Plus, if I don't get out of here soon, I will probably drown in salt, so let's get this over with.

Fletchscrub has taken the form of Groudon, level 45 - easily outpacing the level 40 Ray. Despite that, Blaze Kick easily takes off half its health, though Ray quickly crumbles before Earthquake.

<+DNA> I only have 8 Ultra Balls
<+DNA> /lol/
<+DNA> I'm bad at this


I say this while Fletchscrub just took down Dunce. Then my finger slipped and I hit 'Run', so this is essentially my chance to soft-reset and buy more Ultra Balls. WHOOPWHOOPWHOOPWHOOPWHOOP

<Fletchling> WHERE DID YOU GOOOOOOOOOO
<Fletchling> YOU CAN'T HIIIIIIIIIIDE
<Fletchling> I WILL FIND YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU
<Fletchling> CHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRP
<+DNA> crap the cave even rumbles as we're Zoidberging out of here!
<Sacrama> THE DAY OF SALTENING IS UPON US
*** DNA has left #caveoforigin
<@bacon> DNA you're done already?
<@bacon> then why am I still salty?
<+DNA> I'm not
<+DNA> I need to go buy more Ultra Balls lol
<@bacon> ah


<Fletchling> CHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRP
<Fletchling> CHIRP CHIRP MOTH******ER
<Fletchling> PRAISE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
<+DNA> Fool!
<+DNA> As long as I possess the Reset Button, this battle will go on until there is an outcome that I desire!
<Fletchling> NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO


The second try doesn't go as well, as Fletchscrub is just going all out with Earthquake. The main reason I found this bit so hard is that I essentially HAD to use the Master Ball before Groudon/Kyogre tore my team to pieces. It doesn't even have or need type advantage - it's too freaking powerful.

The third try is a little better (at this point, my GBA SP's power level goes to red), because I decide to open with Crumpets' Confuse Ray to buy me a bit of time, but by the time Fletchling is in the red to pelt Ultra Balls at, 3 of my team are KO'd. It never stays more than 1 wiggle, if that, and he tore into the rest of my team, so I only got 4 chances to pelt Ultra Balls. DAMN he's hard!

A lot of the subsequent runs are essentially the same - I try to chip away at Fletchling's health while he just charges at me with Earthquake or whatever. Haberdash just loves to miss with Stun Spore, and the one time she actually did make it hit, Dunce's Surf later on ended up critting the thing. I finally manage to claim victory on try #8, and nickname Fletchscrub to "Take 8" just as a funny reminder.

But I don't feel like walking all the way out again (even though I could), so I just chicken out and use an Escape Ro-DAMMIT I put them all in the PC. Welp, time to walk.

And now for some actual dialogue while I was doing this.

[8:55:28 PM] DNA: i actually found a new role for you in dolo
[8:55:40 PM] King Cutthroat: s- senpai?
[8:55:46 PM] King Cutthroat: you noticed me again?
[8:56:10 PM] King Cutthroat: a-GAIN?!?!
[8:56:36 PM] DNA: No; I just found a way for a way you could generate more salt
[8:56:48 PM] King Cutthroat: fair enough

I have photographic proof too:
Image

[8:32:07 AM] DNA: "Haberdash used Stun Spore!"
"Haberdash's attack missed!"

you stupid little--
[8:33:16 AM] Luke Bassett: Habby stahp
[8:33:18 AM] Luke Bassett: git gud
[8:33:33 AM] DNA: and this is after she survived an earthquake
[8:33:47 AM] DNA: i think because of her i'm going to get rekt now ;-;
[8:34:06 AM] Luke Bassett: //patpat
[8:36:19 AM] DNA: DAMN and i was doing SO WELL
[8:36:34 AM] Luke Bassett: ;-;
[8:37:05 AM] DNA: take 6
[8:38:48 AM] DNA: YOU DID IT AGAIN
[8:38:57 AM] DNA: GIT GUD HABBY GDI
[8:39:17 AM] Luke Bassett: poor habby
[8:39:47 AM] DNA: she misses with stun spore so much it's stupid
[8:52:42 AM] DNA: >fire blast misses
>stun spore hits

FINALLY
[8:53:37 AM] DNA: and of course surf crits
[8:53:40 AM] DNA: i can't win

King Cutthroat = Haunted Water
Luke Bassett = Fletchling (he had no idea)

Moving on.

<HauntedWater> DNA
<HauntedWater> the salt is all gone
<+DNA> I see you're back to being an old guy again instead of 2 random women
<+DNA> got bored of the selfcest?
<HauntedWater> no
<HauntedWater> ...
<HauntedWater> yes
<+DNA> I win again
<HauntedWater> seems that way
<HauntedWater> you stopped the Saltening and saved us all.
<HauntedWater> Water and salt... They must exist in perfect balance.
<HauntedWater> If one gets too great, that balance is broken. That must never happen.
<HauntedWater> You witnessed but one side of the spectrum... The Saltening.
<HauntedWater> Though it is terrible, it's at least better than the alternative.
<+DNA> which is?
<HauntedWater> Waterworld
<+DNA> LOL
<+DNA> let this never happen
<HauntedWater> I agree
<+DNA> welp
<+DNA> now I go do protag stuff


Obviously the first thing I do is check back in at the Pokemon Center to heal my team, because Fletchling did a number on them. Speaking of which, Fletchling, now dubbed 'Take 8', has a Timid nature.

HA

no wonder there was salt everywhere

CMP thanks me for putting an end to the Saltening, as does bacon. He then invites me to challenge bacon, who is waiting within the gym, which is now unlocked. Looks like this is it!

The ice puzzles are pretty easy if you're used to that kind of thing. All you need do is step on each tile at least once. Here's how to do it (not including the very first tile stepped on):

(U/D/L/R = Up, Down, Left, Right)

First level: R-U-L-L-U-R
Second level: L-L-L-U-U-R-R-D-R-R-R-D-R-U-U-L-L-L
Third level: R-R-U-R-R-D-R-U-U-U-L-L-D-L-U-L-D-D-L-L-D-L-U-L-D-L-U-L-U-U-R-D-R-U-R-D-R-U-R

But I'm going to whiff on purpose so I can fight all the trainers. Mmm, delicious experience points. And since these are Water-types...well, Habby's going to actually eat them. With Leech Seed. And Mega Drain. nom nom nom nom

<+DNA> !challenge
<@bacon> Allow me to formally introduce myself. I am bacon, the gym leader of Sootopolis. There's something about you... A difference in your demeanor. I think I sense that in you.
<@bacon> What happened inside the Cave of Origin, and what you did, I will likely learn through our upcoming battle. Now, show me. Show me the power you wield with your Pokemon.
<@bacon> And I, in turn, shall present you with a performance of illusions in water by me and my Pokemon!
<+DNA> I think that's the most serious I've ever seen you
<@bacon> I have to save it all up to meet quota
<+DNA> makes sense


I know I'm getting close; I'm fighting bacon of all people. He proceeds to bamboozle me, as usual, by opening with a lv. 40 Luvdisc. I open with Crumpets who does his Confuse Ray thing, and bacon is most impressed by the Crobat's classiness. So is the Luvdisc, apparently, as it's KOd before it ever gets an attack off. That's 1 of...5 done? Dang this is going to take a while.

Next is a lv. 40 Sealeo, and to be daring, I have Footloose handle it. I'm a genius, since HJK crit the Sealeo, KOing it instantly. HJK, funnily enough, has yet to miss. A lv. 42 Whiscash is next, and I know that's easily Habby's domain. She mixes things up, doing Stun Spore before Leech Seed - meanwhile, the Whiscash used Amnesia twice, making it hard to damage. I try Mega Drain, hoping for something...about 15%. The Whiscash then uses Earthquake against Habby for about 40%, so I'll have to rely more on Headbutt - which actually did less. Habby gets the Whiscash into the red, and that prompts bacon to use a Hyper Potion, which is good, because it doesn't get rid of what's really hurting it. Eventually it goes down, and I don't see another Hyper Potion, meaning bacon either doesn't have one or he's saving it for later. 3 down, 2 to go.

I was told he's easier in RS than in Emerald, because of Kingdra, among a few other things, but let's see--OGAWDMILOTIC
It's level 43, and to my horror, it goes first and uses Ice Beam on Haberdash, KOing her before I can plant Leech Seed. Not good. I tag to Crumpets, so he can at least get Confuse Ray off. He does, though Milotic still launches an Ice Beam, which crits, KOing him too. The very next turn, Milotic snaps out of it. Then I realize I'm stupid.

<Sacrama> lol mirror coat


2 of those and Milotic's gone. No Encore necessary. The last one's a lv. 42 Seaking, so to be safe, I have Dunce handle it. It attempts Horn Drill (which I knew it had, but forgot about) and it missed, thankfully. Sadly, Water Pulse confuses Dunce, so that might hurt. As I suspected, bacon saved his other Hyper Potion for Seaking, as Dunce is really smacking it hard with Earthquake (40% a pop), and fortunately not hitting himself once.

<@bacon> welp gg
<+DNA> gg
<+DNA> damn bulky waters
<@bacon> O u O
<@bacon> says the guy using Wobbuffet
<+DNA> this is true
<Sacrama> whoa bro don't get mad
<Sacrama> we don't need another Saltening
<@bacon> hahah
<@bacon> all right, your goodies. Rain Badge and TM03 Water Pulse.
<@bacon> your battling style was awesome. I got to see a little bit of everything!
<@bacon> you're almost there. soon we'll all be out of here.
<+DNA> is Pride really making everyone suffer this much?
<@bacon> yeah
<+DNA> okay next time I do a game I won't be dragging people into it unless I feel lik--
<+DNA> I'm sorry everyone


I learned something. Afterwards if you talk to bacon, he will actually say which Gym Badges you're missing. ChillBill, however, is oblivious. Still, I must carry this charade through to its end, so I will surf to Ever Grande City on the back of a Mighty Waterfalling Gyarados and end this chapter, because it's gone on long enough.

End of Chapter 10!

DNA's Team So Far:

{blaziken} Ray lv. 41
{shroomish} Haberdash lv. 38
{whiscash} Dunce lv. 38
{crobat} Crumpets lv. 37
{wobbuffet} Sacrama lv. 37
{meditite} Footloose lv. 37

At the time this part was written, it was June 10th, the day of the Nintendo press conference at E3.
Among other things that no one really cares about, it was announced that Smash 3DS would be released in October, rather than the originally projected summer.

We may have another Saltening on our hands.

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Tue Jun 17, 2014 8:16 am
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Well, I'm oblivious because I was too busy cursing at Nintendo for postponing Smash.

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Tue Jun 17, 2014 10:09 am
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*Is belated, but still*

DNA wrote:
@CuteKirlia: I don't get it. You're supposed to get mad that I'm making fun of you at every moment. ...No matter, I'm not even close to being done at making fun of you, and your ambiguous gender.
But ah well, at least you noticed, which is what I was going for.

<Sacrama> s-senpai~
<+DNA> I don't recall allowing you to speak, bitch


WAIT.
I am supposed to be mad? That's funny, because it's usually me making fun of myself.

Though, it does confuse me how people consider my gender "ambiguous". I usually feel like this, if anything, should be the obvious thing about me. For now, will leave you still guessing then.
*Quickly stashes "their" rain of salt behind a... a... a rock! To delay the next Saltening for a few hundred years. Hopefully*

*And right afterwards, starts shipping Footloose + Sacrama = Foocrama*
:D

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Tue Jun 17, 2014 11:33 am
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CuteKirlia wrote:
WAIT.
I am supposed to be mad? That's funny, because it's usually me making fun of myself.

Though, it does confuse me how people consider my gender "ambiguous". I usually feel like this, if anything, should be the obvious thing about me. For now, will leave you still guessing then.
*Quickly stashes "their" rain of salt behind a... a... a rock! To delay the next Saltening for a few hundred years. Hopefully*

*And right afterwards, starts shipping Footloose + Sacrama = Foocrama*
:D

Well, if you're not mad, but rather enjoy making fun of yourself (and being made fun of), then you're doing it right.

I'm fairly sure I know what your gender is, but based on the info I have it could go either way, so I'll just keep my guesses to myself.

Foocrama would never happen. Everyone hates that Wobbuffet.

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Tue Jun 17, 2014 6:56 pm
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And now to tell you where I am right now, with a teaser.

(This segment will not appear in a future chapter; this will just tell you where I am at in Dolo Ruby in real time.)

~~~

<+DNA> okay
<+DNA> with the power of steroids acquired by my lovely assistant
<Slave0> wait, THAT'S what they were!?
<Slave0> could've sworn those were rare candies!
<+DNA> they were.
<Slave0> ...well, shit.
<+DNA> Our team is now ready for the Dolo League.
<Dunce> It took long enough, it seems. What was the hold-up?
<Crumpets> If memory serves, we were ready for them a while ago. The main reason we waited so long was...
<+DNA> Habby.
<+DNA> I promised to get a Spore Breloom by the time I would take on the league, and dangit, I'm gonna do it.
* Haberdash stops admiring her new body for a sec
<Haberdash> wait a sec...
<Haberdash> you held up everything just for me?
<+DNA> kinda sorta
<+DNA> it was a bit of a drag, honestly. Everyone else was ready 6 levels ago.
<+DNA> Even Footloose.
<Haberdash> But you still waited to bring me up to snuff
<Haberdash> <3
<Haberdash> thaaaaaaaaaanks
* Sacrama whistles
<Sacrama> hoooooooooooooooo
<+DNA> stop piggybacking me
<+DNA> I will hurt you
<Haberdash> you're the best, DNA~
<+DNA> I mean it
<+DNA> Habby I swear if you try to molest me in my sleep
<+DNA> GUYS MAKE SURE SHE DOESN'T
<Ray> will do, boss
* Haberdash Spore
<+DNA> DAMMIT HABBY I WILL END Y-zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
* Haberdash also falls asleep
<Dunce> The prophecy has been fulfilled! GIVE HER THE D(NA)!
<Crumpets> Well, this is a predicament. What will we do while we wait for him to awake?
<Sacrama> idk about you but I plan to take pix of this and sell them to that lovestarved CK chick
<Ray> You mean the weak sexual object?
<Sacrama> yeah that one
<Footloose> Delete... Delete... Delete... ew, what's this doing on here?
<Sacrama> wait what's that
<Sacrama> DAMMIT FOOTLOOSE GIMME BACK MY DIGITAL CAMERA
<Footloose> Not a chance! Crumpets, catch!
* Crumpets takes the camera and flies far away
<Sacrama> I HATE ALL OF YOU

I swear
when I wake up
multiple people are going to die

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Wed Jun 18, 2014 9:46 pm
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And you got CK's gender as well.

Now, I'm gonna repeat myself, but I sincerely hope your gf is gonna kick you in the teeth... or worse.

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Thu Jun 19, 2014 3:57 am
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ChillBill wrote:
And you got CK's gender as well.

Now, I'm gonna repeat myself, but I sincerely hope your gf is gonna kick you in the teeth... or worse.

This might surprise you, but I knew you were going to say that.

And if you really want a good tooth-kicker, ask Ray. He's very good at it. (He's also a bro, so he'd be willing too.)

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Thu Jun 19, 2014 7:06 am
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I had a Blaziken myself, you know.
And you would be below my expectations if you didn't see the previous one coming.

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Thu Jun 19, 2014 7:13 am
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Hey guys, I'm at the post-game. I have exactly 3 things to do:

  • Visit the Lilycove Fan Club
  • Solve the 8th and final Trick House puzzle
  • Ride the SS Tidal to the Battle Tower

In which order should I do these things?

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Thu Jun 19, 2014 11:56 am
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Visit the lilycove fanclub and solve those mazes. Then go get the regis and visit the battle tower.

What do you think? o_O

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Thu Jun 19, 2014 2:46 pm
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I won't get the Regis as that will take forever. That will probably be separate. Heck, I may not at all, because this is a friend's game cartridge, technically, and it's on loan from him.

But I will write down your idea.

Fun fact: I now have input from 6 people on this. Of those, there are 3 different paths picked, and each currently has 2 votes. I wonder how long it will take for an actual tie-breaker.

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Thu Jun 19, 2014 4:27 pm
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Trick House first.

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Thu Jun 19, 2014 10:07 pm
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ChillBill wrote:
Trick House first.

Any preference as to what I do after that?

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Thu Jun 19, 2014 10:32 pm
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Battle Tower, definitely. Battle Factory might make an interesting spin too.

DNA wrote:
<Sacrama> idk about you but I plan to take pix of this and sell them to that lovestarved CK chick
<Ray> You mean the weak s*xual object?
<Sacrama> yeah that one


Still dying of laughter. And yep, definitely right gender. You knew all along?
...but I still ship Haybets

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Thu Jun 19, 2014 11:26 pm
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Doesn't Ruby only have Battle Tower though? ^^'

@DNA: Been stalking your DOLO run since last week, and oh boy, been itching to post for a while, but didn't really seem to fit in... BUT.

I say that you do the Trick Master first, then go to the Battle Tower, THEN go to the Lilycove Fan Club to bask in your glory =3


Fri Jun 20, 2014 3:51 am
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Backing up torchie.

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The only ones who should kill are those who are prepared to be killed!


Fri Jun 20, 2014 6:10 am
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