This reminds me of my level27 Hitmonlee destroying Gary's Rhydon lol.

Nice part, can't wait to see more characters!

Really? Dude, nice. I think I did something like that once with something super under-leveled but I can't for the life of me remember what it was.



1. This is no fanfic. This is real.
2. I'm only up to 3 of 6 and already you're shipping? Please; Ray is too manly.
3. Roselia sucks in RSE, but not as much as Mawile.
4.

Yep, my first time beating the league. (When I was 8) My team was a HM slave lvl100 Charizard, a lvl64 Mr.Mime and a lvl54 Farfetch'd, with derps from victory road filling the last two spots, and Hitmonlee. So I somehow forgot my Mr.Mime in the box, and challenge the league. (At that point, I had no money, since I didn't have the vs.seeker. I sold sludge bomb to buy a revive)

I had trained my Charizard on onixes up to lvl100, so she had quite a high defence. And we went through the shizz out of the league, managed to get to Gary. My last pokemon was my Charizard and my hitmonlee and his was Rhydon. He critical hit my Charizard, and I send out hitmonlee without any hope. And then it happens: Rhydon misses Double-Edge and I Brick Break him to death.

I was like wew. o_O Historical moment for me.

Dude, nice. Job well done.

Teaser: the next chapter has EP in it

[Back to Top]





After slapping some sense into Haberdash and some consciousness into Ray, I harass Blah and get him to sail us to Slateport to deliver some package to some person or another. I'm really hoping this doesn't turn out to be a downright terrible idea, but I know, deep down inside, it probably will.

The beach on Route 109 has a lot of various battlers, one of which is a fellow dolo'er. Sadly, he had a little too much to drink, so I have to put him to sleep. Nothing personal. I'm kinda miffed that no one on my team knows Sand-Attack, because that would have been perfect for fighting on a beach.



I have now unofficially turned Route 109 into Goo Lagoon. Now to prove my worth to Larry Lobster by roflstomping everyone on the beach and getting free soda. ...Wait, Larry Lobster doesn't drink soda. IMPOSTER! Everyone in the Seashore House claims to be hot, but we won't go there.

This ends up taking a very long time because, except for Ray, my team is more defensive than offensive. And there are Water-types on the beach, which Ray does not like. That doesn't make it impossible - just tedious...especially when a Wingull gets a Supersonic off and Haberdash keeps smacking herself until it's over.

I am also reminded that Gen 3 has the best Azurill sprite. <3 Curiously, there is no trainer hiding under an umbrella in R/S (they're under umbrellas, but not in the place that's invisible). I guess that must be an Emerald thing. Crumpets is just exploiting the EXP. Share like crazy and shooting up in levels.

When I get to Slateport, the first thing I do is go to the Shipyard. I look around for the guy I'm supposed to deliver this package to, but I can't find him. I ask a guy there (who introduces himself as Dock Robot) where the captain is, and he says he's out somewhere, but isn't sure where. Meanwhile outside I see a bunch of Magma Cultists lining up for the museum. I'm guessing I should go there first.

At the beachside - which is strangely bereft of balloons (Emerald added them later) - there is a merchant there who tells me that it's no secret that the best thing about a secret is secretly telling someone your secret, therefore adding another secret to their secret colletion of secrets, secretly. I ask him what the hell he means by that and he tells me to go get the TM for Secret Power...secretly.

Other points of interest in Slateport are the Fan Club (I can't get the Soothe Bell here, not just yet), the Name Rater (may or may not come in handy), the dock (relevant later), and the Contest Hall (I got a PokeBlock Case and TM41 Torment). I can't get the pass for entering until Verdanturf, because that's where Normal Rank contests are. I have no plans on participating. Now, the plot beckons me, so I must away to the museum.

The Oceanic Museum is, of course, most famous for its piano remix of the S.S. Anne theme, and it is just as wonderful as ever. I notice KoN there, and he gives me TM46 Thief in exchange for leaving him alone. I agree, and he goes off. All the other Magma Cultists are inside; I ignore them and just look at the exhibits for a while. I like doing this. Not sure why. I think it's so I can listen to the music. The captain is upstairs, looking at a scale replica of the S.S. Anne itself.



Magma Cultist Meaty is first up with his lv. 15 Numel. A fitting choice, honestly, for him. Shame he wasn't on Team Aqua; I hear some of their number use Psyduck. A single Double Kick from Ray and he's done. Meaty and his Vanguard-loving ass has been shamed, leaving his partner KoN-clone to clean up the mess. I'm pretty sure they mass-cloned Meaty too, which is going to be ANNOYING. They're all going to ask me to play Vanguard and I'm going to keep saying no. KoN has a lv. 14 Zubat and Numel, both of which go down easily.

Right after I beat them up, some other guy comes in and looks very displeased.



Nice guy, Kaiser. I'll kill him last. So, I think my business in this town is done, so where to next? I'm guessing I should go north, hopefully close in on Rustboro via the land route. Route 110 is home to Cycling Road, but I can't take that yet, sadly. This just leaves me to take the low road, but on the plus side, it means I get to check out MY FAVORITE PLACE IN ANY POKEMON GAME EVER <3



Dangit, my bag is full already. When did the Mail compartment come around? Oh, right, Gen 4. DANGIT. brb PC

Through an intricate series of cutting trees, I make it to the back with the password.



And now the plot beckons me to ignore EP until a little later. I am totally down with this. I'm going to have to clear out a fair amount of trainers on the way, but it's okay - we can Diglett. We'll detour onto Route 103 first before going along the main route. Some lady at the right thinks it's her soul-soothing fragrance that pulled me yonder. ...I'm fairly sure that adrenaline is not a fragrance.

Meanwhile, Plusle and Minun are being supremely annoying with their Thunder Waves. At least double Leech Seed in a Double Battle is awesome.



This is my greatest idea ever. A little ways up the route, I (don't) get surprised.



Admittedly, this is one of the harder rival fights in the game, for sure. Lenny's opener is a lv. 18 Shroomish, on par with my opener, Crumpets, also at lv. 18. Crumpets gets his Supersonic off, but the Shroomish also gets a Stun Spore off. Frustrating. Crumpets decides to be a bat and feast on Shroomish with Leech Life. He does so in such a dignified manner that it's almost scary. He gets it down to a third of its HP, but it drops a Leech Seed, so he tags out to Ray, who finishes it off easily, with, surprise surprise, a critical hit.



Ray ends up gaining a level and trying to learn Sand-Attack. Sure, NOW you learn it, after we're a LONG WAY AWAY from the beach. No thank you.

Speaking of Shroomish, though, Lenny then drops his lv. 20 Marshtomp on me. He has it open with Bide, but that doesn't bother Haberdash at all; her opener is Leech Seed + Stun Spore anyway. By the time his Bide goes off (for zero), he's lost a third of his HP, and Mega Drain puts him solidly in the red. Leech Seed seals the deal, and Marshtomp goes down with no trouble whatsoever.

Last one is a lv. 18 Numel. I tag to Crumpets, but he doesn't do so well, so it looks like this is a job for Ray, who accepts it with ease. And with that, Lenny is down. ...Man, Treecko really IS hard mode; with him I have a lot of trouble since Combusken is a walking murder machine.



And now that I made a "girl" cry, it is time for me to continue with my dolo run. I think I found a Great Ball a little ways up the path, as well as a Revive. And I didn't even turn the Dowsing Machine on. I just looked in patches of not-grass.

Mauville City is shaped like a plus sign, or a crossroads, whatever sounds funnier to you. I like my plus sign explanation better. There are a few things I can do here, so I'll go over them one at a time while Crumpets fixes us elevenses. Whatta guy.

Right at the entrance to town is a woman that reminisces about Harbor Mail in Slateport. My memory banks tell me that she will swap you a Harbor Mail for a Coin Case, so I run back to Slateport as quickly as I can to get her one. (It didn't take that long.) The house next door has a guy that gives you HM06 Rock Smash. I teach it to Slave 0. It WILL be important later. I need to catch a Wingull sometime soon to become a Slave 1.



And then Rydel gave me a bike. He wasn't cast as anyone important because he only gets 15 seconds of screentime.



The Game Corner is irrelevant save for some chick who gives me a Torchic Doll (SCORE), but the Gym is quite relevant. Some slouch is blocking the door, though.



Crumpet's Supersonic rang true, causing the Ralts to smack itself. Crumpets then followed up with Astonish, while the Ralts did a Double Team. This caused Crumpets' next attack to miss, but then Ralts hit itself again and fell over unconscious. It never hit Crumpets once.



Somehow, everything becomes funnier when Xander is involved. I know the Mauville Gym is going to be a pain and a half to defeat, but since I have Ray it might go a little easier. I make a brief detour on Route 118 to gain a bit of EXP. It wasn't very much, but hopefully it'll be enough.

Oh, and the tea was delicious, for those curious. Crumpets also picked up Wing Attack, so yay, useful STAB!

Mauville Gym is full of Electric-types, so Crumpets will probably sit this one out unless Voltorb is involved, and even then maybe. Still, I give him the EXP Share so he won't feel left out. Ray will be handling the offensive front, and Haberdash the defensive one. With that in mind, I try not to be driven insane by the electric barriers, and Thunder Wave.

In the end, they weren't that big of a deal. Now for the main event.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DcAhDcqNmlQ to those curious. It really is an amazing song, especially if you're into Euro-rock.

Ganontodd opens with a lv. 22 Magnemite, while I open with Ray, also at lv. 22. For whatever reason I remember his Magneton at the end being lv. 28, but that can't be right. Either way, Double Kick is an OHKO, and Magnemite is down for the count. His lv. 20 Voltorb is next, and I let Haberdash handle this one, in her usual Leech Seed+Stun Spore+wait style. Good thing I did, since the Voltorb is using Spark repeatedly, while Haberdash is tanking. Then, out of nowhere, it pulls Self-Destruct, KOing Haberdash (and itself) instantly. This makes things a bit easier, since it leaves Ray alone to handle his lv. 23 Magneton. It outspeeds and uses Supersonic, which hits, causing Ray to hit himself. It then went Sonic Boom to Double Kick, and then to Shock Wave, which KOs Ray.

I throw out a Wurmple as fodder while I revive Haberdash (I only have 2 Revives, so I'd best play cautiously). Magnetodd's Sonicboom misses, giving Haberdash a Leech Seed, so this should be in the bag, I think. Stun Spore lands as well, so this fight is all but mine. After the next, she has 21 HP, letting her live through a Sonicboom. Ganon uses a Super Potion, bringing Magneton almost up to full again, but I'm honestly not that worried. Neither Tackle nor Mega Drain are doing much to Magneton, so I opt for Tackle to conserve PP. It does use Thunder Wave, paralyzing Haberdash, so now it comes down to who can outwait the other. Shock Wave does about 17-19 damage, just under Sonicboom, so if I can keep Haberdash above 20 HP (which she has been the whole time), the fight is basically won, despite Haberdash being paralyzed and now also confused (for now). Ganontodd certainly isn't making it easy, since he's used 2 Super Potions now. At some points (2 in total), Haberdash does fall below 20, so I use those turns to apply a Potion.



End of Chapter 3!

DNA's Team So Far:

Ray lv. 22
Crumpets lv. 21
Haberdash lv. 20

I predict the next part is not going to be pretty. At all.

I hope I get to tragically die in this story, cuz I can't just give you a bike, and survive this event, omg.

Haberdash 4 the win! <3

I threw you in on a whim, and now I have to kill you on a whim too?

You want me to say something witty?
Aqua Cult is best cult.

Not sure if Flannery or just Dread Incarnate

They show up in the next part and they're called something completely different.
They're not a cult.
When you see the name you will probably double over in laughter.

Congratulations; you are now the weak sexual object.
...It fits.

edit:

Omg, this thread is wonderful! xD


I'm more skilled with french words, but I guess this will do the job lol. Awesome, I can't wait to die!

Yay HW!

...did you just write your own death scene?

Nah, just a random fic on how I got into the pkmn world.

[Back to Top]





And so we do, taking the most direct route towards the plot (which is waiting right now at Meteor Falls), avoiding as many trainers as possible on the way, as well as any other would-be diversions.



Other than gaining TMs 43 and 32, the former from Spongebob's Secret Club and the latter lying on the ground amongst volcanic ash, there is nothing worth talking about until we get there. I don't sneak past everyone, but I sneak past most of them.





I'd best finish up here. Apparently, Magma Cult was harassing this guy named Professor Carlos, who found the meteorite to begin with. I think I've seen him before, maybe in Sinnoh? He got convinced and/or bullied by Magma Cult to guide them to meteorites, and...well, I stepped in.

I'm done, so I shortcut my way back with Teleport (go Abra) and then walk east from Fallarbor, again stealthing my way past all the trainers. It works - I don't fight anyone new on the way back, until I get to the mountaintop. When I get there, I see quite a scene - Magma Cult vs Spoon Pirates is going on in full swing. I can't even climb down the Jagged Pass, but that's to be expected. Up ahead, Spoon is single-handedly taking on three Cultists, while telling me to stop the Cult from using the meteorite to force an eruption. That's pretty gnarly, honestly. I can get behind stopping that, and beating up KoN/Meaty clones while I'm at it. I (well, just Ray) beat past 1 of them, as well as the man named Tabitha, before getting to the big guy. He's been doing well enough, you could say he's...



Okay, boss time. I'm getting the headphones for this one.



And so, the thus-far nameless Magma Boss engages me in combat, with an excellent theme tune only heard twice in the entire game - which is a shame, because it's a GREAT tune. It reminds me of sharks for some reason, so I always find it more fitting to go with Aqua's leader, but I'll take it. First up is a lv. 24 Mightyena, who is 2HKO'd by Ray (at lv. 25), despite Intimidate. Next up is a lv. 25 Camerupt, and I decide to tag to Crumpets, despite that I may very well regret this decision. He does get Supersonic off, thankfully, and it hits itself, giving a free turn. After 2 Wing Attacks, and Camerupt hitting itself again, the Boss is down yet another.

The last is a lv. 24 Golbat, and I decide to be unusual and deploy Haberdash, at least initially. Bad idea, since Wing Attack almost knocks her out. Leech Seed does hit, though, so the damage has been done. I leave the Golbat of my own to finish the job, since I know he will. He decides to just skip to Wing Attack and disregard Supersonic, since Leech Seed already gave him the edge. Magma Boss ended up using 2 Super Potions on Golbat, and I'm thankful Camerupt hit itself before he got the chance to use it on that instead.



I stealth my way down Jagged Pass, and bam, I'm in Lavaridge Town. I can't stealth my way past the gym-well, I CAN, but then I'll miss up on all the juicy exp. First thing I do, though, is pickup the Wynaut egg. This will definitely be relevant later. I write very little detail except in certain sections, because I really really REALLY want that Barboach.



Ray will probably be the main contender in the fight with his Double Kick, with Crumpets supplying good support with Wing Attack. Haberdash will have to sit this one out completely, except for maybe dropping a Leech Seed on Torkoal, but I'm pretty sure she'll be outsped anyway, thus...she'll be useless here. The faster I get this gym over with, the faster I can move on.

What I'm most curious about is who is cast as Flannery, given how the Internet is flaming for her, pun fully intended. But then again, this is my run, and Flannery is hideous jailbait, so I can do whatever the crap I want in the name of karmic justice.

Bring it, haters.



And for those curious how I got through the gym, Ray's Double Kick was amazing - so amazing, in fact, that I don't even need to go back to the Center and heal. I also remember this gym being larger in Emerald.



...and I spoke too soon



HW opens with a lv. 26 Slugma, while I open with lv. 27 Ray. I think he's going to be fighting a lot, so I open with Focus Energy, and he chooses Light Screen. hah, what a waste. Ray's fantastic Double Kick crits and knocks the Slugma out instantly.



He then sends out...ANOTHER lv. 26 Slugma. Double Kick doesn't crit, though it is a 2HKO. He does get a chance to get Sunny Day off, which may be pertinent later. On this, Ray levels up, and drops Focus Energy for the superior Bulk Up.



Ray crit with Double Kick, and it was still only a third of its HP. Torkoal then Body Slams, stunning Ray. Not good. It then detonates in an Overheat, KOing him instantly. You know what that means - Haberdash, you're up.



aw yiss Crumpets
sadly it only lasted for 1 turn and Torkoal got attract off. not good. After a few Body Slams, Crumpets is down too.



I tried the Haberdash trick again and he Overheated. I need to stop trying that. Welp, Ray, you're up.



Double Kick went from an attack that dealt 30% with a crit to 80% without one. Body Slam failed to paralyze after that, and Ray did his Ray thing and roflstomped Torkoal.



End of Chapter 4!

DNA's Team So Far:

Ray lv. 28
Crumpets lv. 25
Haberdash lv. 22

Egg lv. ??

Ray was the only one conscious after all that. Good ol' Ray.

I honestly expected you to be very buttmad.

Or maybe you were, and you're past that phase, and you're just accepting/reveling in the lulz.

why does everyone do this

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH
I'M DYING DNA
inb4 MagmaBoss is me b/c salty tears.

That's incorrect, but you're close.

[Back to Top]



Four down, four to go. My powering-through is almost done, and after this, there are three main things I need do: beat PMJ, catch a Wingull (for Surf and Fly), and snag the Good Rod to get Barboach. The first two I can do in either order, but I recall Wingull being somewhat elusive. Still that doesn't mean I just give up and do whatever, because that would be dumb.

But before anything else, my team needs patching up. I run into Lenny.



It is now time for me to continue stealthing my way past all the trainers. I will go by way of Verdanturf, because not only is it the fastest and easiest way there, but because I really don't care about Verdanturf, and if I don't visit it now, I never will.

Also, I get to bug Gale and Xander. I snag a Nugget jumping down the ledges from Lavaridge and go on my merry way. There's also a Revive I pick up on Route 111, but other than that I run into no trainers - which is good, because I COMPLETELY forgot to heal my team. But I'm in Verdanturf now, so it's k.



I can pick up a Contest Pass and TM45 Attract in the Contest Hall, but besides that, there is nothing else of interest here. In the Rusturf Tunnel, there's an HP Up, a Blackglasses, a DAMMIT THERE'S A TRAINER IN HERE Max Ether, and the black belt guy that gives HM04 Strength. And now I must go. The plot demands it!



Maybe now she'll stop complaining. And then I'll get another team member later so Haberdash doesn't steal all the lines that are even moderately funny.



* = actual game dialogue

Blah apparently disappeared into thin air. No one knows where he is now. Knowing him, he is probably playing and ranting about Wind Waker HD for the 26th time. By the time we get back to Petalburg Gym, I finally snap out of it. There are 7 trainers, not counting the leader, and they like X Items. Their loss - X Items suck.

The trusty band of 3 is ready to take on PMJ's gym. Strangely enough, none of the junior trainers are black. Most of the time, their item use was just a free turn for me (sorry, ALL OF THE TIME), but for whatever reason, every time a Linoone actually got a Headbutt off against Ray, it was a critical hit. Ew. I think my favorite was when some trainer used Dire Hit on his Zangoose, and Ray proceeded to use Double Kick for an OHKO.

7 trainers later...



I'm extremely tempted to have Ray set up a Bulk Up sweep. Otherwise, Slaking is going to tear into me like no other. Sure enough, Facade from his opener lv. 28 Slaking takes off over half of Ray's HP. And he's faster. I have Ray Bulk Up twice, and Soda Pop on the 3rd turn before Facade hits, but much to my horror, he used Yawn. This is not good as I only have 2 Full Heals. Still, I decide to play it safe and do Bulk Up a 3rd time while Slaking is loafing around, and then Ray falls asleep.



And then Slaking #1 got OHKO'd by Double Kick. Turns out, the +5 was just enough! Next up the lv. 30 Vigoroth, so I don't quite have an opening. Vigoroth outspeeds, uses Slash, and CRITS.



I'm pretty sure I'm done at this point; it'd take a miracle for me to win - Vigoroth outspeeds even Crumpets. Sure enough, Vigoroth Slashes Crumpets out. There's no way I can win, so I admit defeat.



I didn't lose because I was underleveled - Ray was level 30 for that fight. I lost because PMJ is freaking HARD. Damn Slakings. ...Truth be told, that was the 2nd try; on the 1st, the lead Slaking crit Facade right away and I turned it off right there, because lolno.

This time I wasn't paying attention, as I was supposed to Soda Pop after the first Truant, but I Bulked Up instead, thinking I had another turn. Thankfully Ray survived, albeit with 2 HP. And then it crit when Ray got to +4, so...



I would put Haberdash up first to try and Leech Seed+Stun Spore the lead Slaking, except I want to save that for the LAST one, in case things go really bad. And by really bad, I mean only slightly less worse than what things are like right now.

Good thing I don't believe in Nuzlockes. Never will, either.

Next run I get Ray up to +6, right as Slaking Yawns at Ray again, so Slaking gets KO'd while Ray falls asleep. Not wanting to die to Vigoroth, I apply a Full Heal immediately, and pray Slash doesn't crit, in the 2 chances he gets to hit. (It doesn't.)

I think that, in R/S, the last Slaking is the easiest, because he keeps trying to spam Focus Punch, thus letting you get free hits on him constantly. Didn't matter in this case, as the first half of Double Kick crit, OHKOing so the second half never needed to hit.





First thing I do after leaving Petalburg: catch a Wingull

It took about 10 minutes

I find out a bit later that Wingull can't learn Surf

This is supremely annoying, so I have to teach it to Slave 0 instead. I forgot where the Move Deleter is in this game. ...He's in Lilycove, isn't he?
I surf across the water on Route 118, and I find...





Poor guy.

WAIT THERE'S A-never mind it's only level 14; I can do better. So was the 2nd one. -.-



(I ended up catching the Magikarp anyway)

The Barboach I end up catching (which was the 4th one I saw) is level 10. That's even worse. Its nature is Mild, which is okay, I guess. I still have to wait for this egg to hatch, so I throw Barboach in the Daycare while I run around with this egg. I have to be tricky, as I haven't quite fought everyone on Route 117 yet. Barboach is okay off Daycare exp up to level 25, and the egg should hatch LONG before then.

While I'm at it...



She bolted for the Daycare instantly. I think she really is tired of all of the Golden Sun I keep playing. Haberdash will be fine off Daycare exp up to level 27, and she's level 23 at present. Should be okay. And before anyone asks, she was not inclined to form babi with anyone. Especially not a Barboach that is still completely OBLIVIOUS (huehuehue) to the fact that it got captured.



I decide to perform a bit of an experiment at this time with the Wynaut Egg. Apparently, its IVs and nature are set when you pick up the egg, not when it hatches. I must have been thinking of another egg that's determined by hatch time.

Funnily enough, I saved my game not long before the egg hatched. I'll give you a perspective: I saved in the middle of Mauville City, and the egg hatched right at the door outside the Daycare. Neat, huh?

I want to try and make it hatch in a hilarious of a location as possible, so I start thinking of ideas. The Game Corner didn't do anything, and neither did the Daycare. I'm going to run around for a bit and decide on the perfect hatching place. No, I'm not going to pick the Weather Institute. That would take far too long, dragged out further than I already have dragged it out.

At this point, I'm actually kinda miffed that the Oceanic Museum didn't work. I settle on New Mauville, but the egg hatched 20 steps before I got there, so I soft-reset. At this point, the best choice for me is either Jagged Pass or a Secret Base. Unfortunately, I do not think there are any Secret Bases within short walking distance of a PC. (50 steps, tops.)

I settle for Mt Chimney, which I can reach by using the Cable Car. I have a feeling the PC actually REVERSED the egg timer somewhat, allowing me ample time to reach there. I know this because I ran around wildly for another minute before the egg finally hatched. And with that, I am satisfied.



The newly-christened Sacrama is male with a Bashful nature. That's not bad, but now I have to walk from Mt Chimney all the way back to Mauville. And yes, I could have done Meteor Falls, but that involves walking even FARTHER, and I don't want to screw up the Daycare exp.

Come to think of it, I think this is the first time I legitimately used the Daycare to gain exp for a team, ever.



I think I can call it here, since after beating PMJ, all I really did was just add those two dudes onto the team and run around a lot. Now, I'm going to tack the EXP Share onto Sacrama, go take on all the trainers I missed (Dunce will be doing most of the fighting, optimally), and by the time I write the next part, we will be a whole lot buffer.

Also we'll have a lot more goodies. All I will be doing is going over the areas I missed on Routes 110 and onward, plus go clean out Route 115. I'll list what happened and stuff at the start of the next part.

For now, enjoy my current team status!

End of Chapter 5!

DNA's Team So Far:

Ray lv. 31
Crumpets lv. 26
Haberdash lv. 25
Dunce lv. 15
Sacrama lv. 5

Wow, this was hilarious! xD Gotta love Sacrama.

Also... Destiny Bond or Safeguard? (Both are extremely useful)