Will right now suffice?

So, first, an apology. My original intent was to post 1 chapter on Wednesday and 1 chapter on Sunday, as is my usual custom. However, due to me not putting as much work into SOLO as I ought, posting a new chapter on Wednesday would result in me being behind as far as backlogged chapters. Thus I put it off and started writing more, though given how hard it is for me to be inspired to write these things, I didn't get as far as I'd like (in fact, I'm actually going to hop off right after I post this to hopefully get a few chapters out).

To give you an idea of where I am, I only have 2.5 backlogged chapters after this one still (my allowed minimum is 2), and they only go halfway into G6. My SOLO game file itself is halfway into G10, about to head to Amp Plains, which gives you the idea of how much I need to write to catch up.

So, in the words of Masahiro Sakurai, "pease undasand" if I fall behind sometimes like I did now.

ENOUGH WHINING, LET'S GET TO IT

~~~

[Back to Top]



Ah, the sensation of sunlight. It crept in ever so slowly through the window, slowly making its way across the room. I was sleeping perpendicular to the window, so the first things I felt become slightly warmer were my feet. My shorts, shirt, arms, and finally face followed soon thereafter in rapid succession.

It was a nice feeling, honestly. I felt like I could relax in the warmth, without a care in the world. Then reality kicked in and I realized what time it was. It was sunrise. Loudred was going to come in here any second now, and in my current state, I would be totally unprepared for it. I forced myself out of sleep, rolling on to the floor before propping myself upright.

I dusted myself off and blinked a few times, surveying my surroundings. There was my satchel, neatly molded into a small rectangular shape near to my bed. Lately, I’d been using it as a pillow, so I wasn’t lying flat on my back. The rest of the room was similarly illuminated – even the Wigglytuff poster, whose eyes would follow me forever around the room, looked warm and inviting. And, of course, Rayne was curled up in a ball, fast asleep.

Loudred hadn’t shown up yet. Perfect. I looked this way and that to survey the area, and thought of my next diabolical plan. Water in the ear I’d done for the past few days; it was time to shake things up a bit. And I had to do this quick, before Loudred got here.

The first thing I did was get out my canteen. I poured water over both of my hands, washing them thoroughly, to ensure they were as damp as possible. I’d be able to fill the canteen up again later. When I was done, the fur had a weird slimy feel to it and made a ‘squick’ sound as it moved, but I could deal with this.

The second thing I did was kneel at Rayne’s side – not in front of her, at her side. With one hand, I pinched her nose, and with the other, I covered her mouth. This wouldn’t take very long at all, and the result would be absolutely wonderful. I was already mentally counting down the seconds.



After four seconds, I heard a “pphhhththphththbhbhthph” noise. That was my cue to remove my hands. I did so, and it was followed by a small sneeze. I knew if she sneezed it would produce fire, and because of my precautions, I received no pain whatsoever.

Success.

“Why would you do that!?” Rayne yelled, blinking rapidly and still not fully awake.

“To keep things interesting,” I responded, a huge smile on my face. “Oh look, Loudred’s here. Now he doesn’t have to wake us up.”

“What did you DO?” he asked.

“Covered her nose and mouth so she’d start coughing and have to wake up.”

“Wouldn’t that BURN you?”

“That’s why I thoroughly soaked my hands first.”

“You’re a GENIUS.”

“I know. Now let’s go to roll call.”

Loudred went on ahead, while I stayed behind and waited for Rayne to be fully alert. It didn’t take as long as you’d think – Loudred’s voice shook off a lot of the stupor, and it was only a few more seconds at most.

“You’re having fun thinking of new ways to wake me up, aren’t you?”

“Well, they aren’t new – they’re more so improving on the old. But I have a fix for that.”

“And what’s that?”

“Wake up on your own, silly.” I patted her head.

“...I think I’ll stick with being forced awake for now...”

“The epitome of laziness. Fine, suit yourself, but I won’t always do the same thing.”

I was grinning as the two of us walked off towards the main hall. The roll call was essentially the same as before, with no new odd or flashy announcements made on the part of Chatot or the Guildmaster, whose rate of entering the room sleepwalking was about thirty percent. However, instead of our grand plans to go out and capture an outlaw or two, we were interrupted by Loudred right as roll call concluded.

“HEY, you two! We need your help with something today!” he told us, beckoning to follow him.

“Oh?” I asked, walking behind him. “What do you need?” He led us over to a hole in the ground with a vine leading down from it. My memory told me that this led down to the sentry post. Did he really need help with sentry duty today? Already I was having an aversion to this...

“Diglett, I brought them!” Sure enough, Diglett was there waiting by the entrance to the sentry post. When he noticed me, he went really pale, and began to sink deeper into the ground.

“...please don’t hurt me...” he whimpered.

“I’m not going to hurt you,” I replied. “Now, I assume we have to do some sentry duty?”

“Yeah. Sorry. I’m usually the one to do it, but today my dad gave me his duty of updating the boards. That’s why I can’t man my post. It would be great if someone could take over my sentry duty for today. And that’s why you’re here. Please do a good job for me. Bye!”

With that, he fled away and vanished. I noticed he was speaking very hurriedly, as if he was uncomfortable with the thought of me talking to him. I suppose I can’t blame him; I did give him a hard time when I showed up, but I wasn’t comfortable with anyone staring at my rumpus. Or something else.

“And that’s THAT,” Loudred spoke, a big smile on his face.

“Wait, how did we get involved in this again?” Rayne asked, but she was instead looking at the window, her back to Loudred. Clearly she wasn’t fully awake yet.

“Behind you, Rayne.”

“Shut your YAP!” Loudred yelled, annoyed. “NO MORE BELLYACHING! GO DO YOUR DUTY!”

“Ouch! My floppy dog ears hurt! Please don’t be so loud... Anyway, I don’t have a problem with doing sentry duty, but you’ll have to tell us what to do. We are newbies, after all.”

“Well, we can’t have suspicious characters coming into the guild. So we station a sentry below the guild entrance to evaluate Pokémon visitors. When you first came, you had your footprint evaluated, right?”

“I would have, except I wasn’t comfortable with it so I just showed him my face instead. Anyway, so I assume I climb down this vine to where the sentry post is, look up, and identify footprints, right?”

“And inform me, yes. Then I decide if the Pokémon is suspicious or not, and open the gate if he passes muster.”

“Mmm, mustard...” Rayne hummed.

“Rayne, pay attention. ...Continue, Loudred.”

“Look, all you two have to do is inspect the footprints of visitors, then tell me what Pokémon they are. All right? Understood?”

“Understood.”

“Good! Then let’s get to WORK! Buck up and do a GOOD job!”

I felt really dirty doing this. I really did. On the day I arrived here I showed my loathing towards the idea of staring at someone from below, and now, at least for a day, I’d be forced into doing so. My plan was to stare intently at the foot and not think of anything else, and if I started spacing out, have someone yell at me.

Then I realized I’d be spending the whole day down here. My quitting time was sundown. This was going to be incredibly boring. Fortunately, I think it was about the equivalent of 10am when we started, and sundown was...what, 6pm? I wish I had my DS or something to pass the time, but no such luck. I didn’t think this through very well.

Oh. Wait. I have a story to write. This one. I can spend my time today just writing it up.

I began shinnying my way down the vine. I asked Rayne to stay up top until I got my bearings down here. The further I went, the less I could see. There was basically nothing down here besides dirt. I felt like I went down about fifteen feet, because when I looked up, all I could see was a tiny speck of light, no bigger than a pea.

“Can you guys hear me?” I called up. My voice felt like it began to echo, but it was mostly swallowed up by the dirt, so instead, it sounded muted.

“Yeah, I can hear you!” Rayne called back. “Hang on, I’m coming down!”

“Careful. I can’t see a thing down here.”

“That’s why I’m coming down, silly! Don’t you know fire creates light?”

“That...that would certainly help.”

She made her way down slower than I did, probably because of the whole quadruped thing. She didn’t fall or slip, though, thankfully. When she got to the bottom, there wasn’t much room to stand; the tunnel couldn’t have been more than four feet across.

“Okay, so I’ll stand here and provide you light, and you go onward to the main sentry post!”

“What are you going to do after that?”

“Well, it could be a long way back. You’ll shout stuff to me, and I’ll shout stuff to Loudred! And maybe we can bring you food or something. I could share stories! Or tell of daring adventures! Or plot our next rappel off the guild cliff!”

“One thing at a time, please. Now stay still. It looks like the tunnel goes off this way.”

I kept walking in the indicated direction. It wasn’t exactly getting smaller, nor was it constricting, but there’d be no way for two Pokémon to walk abreast down here. It appeared to go on for another fifteen feet, and then it just stopped. It was much brighter over here, though, with light shining down from above. I looked up and beheld a wooden grate, set about with cobblestones, and letting in the daylight. Without a doubt, this was the grate at the guild entrance. A vine was now at my side, leading to a higher platform with a better visual of the grate, as I was still a ways below the ground.

“HOW’S IT GOING!?” Loudred’s voice boomed. I was amazed at how I was still able to hear him, and with near-perfect clarity.

“DNA is in position!” I called back. “Rayne is at the vine’s base to relay messages!”

“Rayne reporting for duty, sir! DNA is at the sentry post!”

“GOOD! Pokémon visitors will step onto the grill above the sentry post! Identify them by footprint, then inform me! Got that?!”

“We got it!” Rayne called back.

“GOOD! Let’s get started!”

I got myself situated on the platform. I was about ten feet directly below the grate, about the same position that Diglett was at. Far above the grate, I could see a clear blue sky, with small puffy white clouds occasionally drifting past. From my distance the clouds were barely visible, but I could pick some of them out.

Not long afterwards, I heard the sound of walking directly above me. The footsteps were both slow and heavy, as if made by a plodding giant. It placed one of its feet on the grate, and waited. I was surprised the grate didn’t break – the footprint was huge!

“Pokémon detected!” I instinctively called out, to Rayne.

“Pokémon detected!” Rayne echoed, to Loudred.

“Whose footprint? Whose footprint?”

I was getting a weird sense of déjà vu. It wasn’t just from Loudred’s calling from our arrival, but even this footprint looked familiar. The foot itself was brown, and large like a tree trunk, with four large nails set about it – three pointing forward, one backward. I realized where I’d seen it before, and it brought back fond memories.

“The footprint is Torterror’s!” I call out.

“Don’t you mean Torterra?” Rayne said to me.

“Um, yeah! That one!” That may have been a slip, but it was one awesome slip.

“The footprint is Torterra’s!” Rayne yelled to Loudred.

“Heard ya! Come in, visitor!”

Its giant foot moved off the grate. I could hear the plods of its feet echoing, and it was even making the ground around me shake. The rumbles were small, but I had this weird feeling I would fall down, so I sat and clung to the ground as best I could, until the rumbling stopped.

“Yep! Looks like you’re right!” That was Loudred. He seemed quite pleased!

“I just thought, how’s Torterror going to even get in? It’s not really built to climb down a ladder...”

“Bro, you just said ‘Torterror’ again.”

“...Yeah, I did. It’s just I knew a ‘TorTERROR’, and he was great company. I miss the guy.”

“Why did you yell ‘terror’?”

“Because that was his name – TorTERROR.”

Dolo Pearl, you will be missed.





The day was slow, but that was no surprise. After all, I’d be stuck down here for who knows how long, just identifying people’s feet. I asked Loudred how many visitors the guild gets in a day, and he replied on average that it gets six. Based on that figure, I could expect to get one in a little over an hour each time. That means I had to keep myself occupied for several hour-plus blocks at a time. The first thing that came to mind was having Rayne guess a number between 1 and 10, and I’d try to guess it – then she’d try to guess a number off me. I guessed her number right away – it was 3 – but it took her at least fifteen minutes to guess mine, which was pi.

Hey, I said a number between 1 and 10. I never said it had to be an integer. Naturally, Rayne accused me of cheating until I brought up that it didn’t have to be an integer. She protested, but I countered by saying integers alone would be boring. After some thought, she agreed, and asked me to guess her new number.

She must have thought I was a cheater, because my first guess of 2.999 was correct. That didn’t help when I said my second number was e (you know, Euler’s number? Everyone knows that) and she protested by saying that e was a letter, not a number. I countered that argument by saying that pi was also a letter, just in the Greek alphabet, not the English one. You want to know what she said after that?

“Mmmmmm, pie.”

This is why I love my sister.

The second visitor was a bit trickier, since the footprint was much smaller, so I had to focus on it and go through memory to remember what it was. After some thought, I recalled it being a Phanpy, though to be fair, I got a hint from the visitor sneezing. It sounded just like an elephant.

The third came not long after, and I instantly recognized it as a Blaziken. Without thinking, I yelled up “Ray! Is that you!?” and to my shock, the response was “Maybe”. I started squealing like a maniac. Ray? Here? I knew he did work with an exploration team before, but here!? The excitement welled up within me like a balloon, and I started shaking with excitement.

“DNA!” Rayne called out to me. “Are you fangirling?”

“What? No! Why would you say that?”

“I can hear you squealing and jumping around! Besides, you’re not allowed to fangirl; that’s MY job!”

“Is that a confession?” I returned, chuckling like a madman. This was already shaping up to be an utterly hilarious day, and it was only half done.







“You know, I’ve just been thinking, Rayne, the English language is really weird.”

“Well duh, that’s why we speak it! But why bring it up?”

“Well...the word ‘fangirl’. That’s supposed to be a noun. Why did we use it as a verb earlier in the day?”

“Because the actions of a fangirl are so complicated and nonsensical that it just helps to compress it into a single word to express the point. Doing so conjures a mental image of exactly what that word is trying to convey, so it saves time! Makes perfect sense!”

“Having less syllables saves time, got it.”

I had been entertaining myself by keeping my logbook handy. Granted, Rayne was good company and all, but I was stuck down in this dirt hole for the day, with nothing really to do. I would have to ask Diglett how he spends his days down here. I couldn’t imagine how a child like him does this without going insane from boredom. Heck, even I’m going insane from boredom.

I wanted to go say hi to Ray earlier, if that indeed was Ray, but duty prohibited me from leaving, at least for today. Maybe I’d get lucky, and see him some other time. But for now, time to just fill in all the loose ends in the logbook.

As time passed, the amount of light that began to reach me diminished. Most of the visitors came in earlier during the day, though closer to sunset there were a few stragglers. It was getting harder and harder for me to see, and therefore to write, so soon there would be a point where I would just have to stop and pick it up again in a place with more light. I’d long since passed the threshold of six visitors – after the Blaziken, there was a Zangoose, Combusken, and a Totodile. Maybe the last one was another guy looking to be a new recruit. I wouldn’t know. I was stuck down here, and now preoccupied with the thought of when I would quit.

“Sorry to keep you waiting.” I heard someone’s voice come from up top, inside the guild. It sounded like Diglett.

“Rayne and DNA!” Loudred called out. “That’ll do it! Now get back here!”

“Score!” I yelled, almost falling off the platform. I righted myself, and then made my way back through the tunnels and vines until I was back at the lower floor of the guild. Rayne waited for me to get back because of the lack of light, and when I climbed back up...it was extremely bright. My eyes still had to adjust, but the one thing I remember seeing was Diglett staring at us, waiting, watching, as if to pounce.



“You’ve worked an honest day, you two!” I heard someone chirp.

“Is that Chatot?” I asked. “Give me a bit while I blink repeatedly; my eyes are still adjusting to there being basically no light down in that pit. Diglett, how do you even keep yourself to not be bored all day? There’s nothing to do!”

“I have pay-per-view,” Diglett answered. “It’s on the wall opposite, so you can lean back and look up towards the sentry post, or forward towards the television.”

“How the heck did you fit a television in the wall? More importantly, how do you even have a television at all!?”

“My father knows a very good electrician.”

“You make even less sense than Rayne.”

She slapped me for that, claiming that no one is allowed to make less sense than her. By this point, my eyes had adjusted, and I could see Chatot very clearly.

“You were saying, Chatot?” I asked. I noticed he was holding a clipboard.

“Let me review your sentry-duty performance...” he said, looking over the notes on his clipboard. Presumably, Loudred had told Chatot beforehand of my performance, or was keeping tabs. I had somewhat high expectations, because I positively identified each individual’s footprint within 2 seconds of them stepping on to the grate.

“Well, well! Your results were...” He paused dramatically, for extra effect. I instinctively started patting my knees very fast, alternating between them, simulating a drum roll noise.

“...completely perfect!”

“Yes!!” I exclaimed, jumping into the air and raising my fist in triumph.



“We’ll reward your effort! Generously, I might add! You all deserve an especially large reward!”

“Thank you, sir!” I took this chance to glance over to Rayne. She was leaning forward expectantly, eyes wide. I thought she was going to fall over and her eyes would fall out of the sockets, both simultaneously. Thankfully she never did, but I could tell the words ‘40 apples’ were going through her head.

After congratulating us and urging us to ‘keep up the good work!’, Chatot handed me a small box with the rewards inside; I opened it and found 500 coins (I heard the words ‘only 10 apples? What a gyp!’), a Joy Seed, and a Life Seed. I found it prudent to give these all to Kangaskhan later, because these all looked pretty valuable, and would probably have much more use later.

“So many rewards, DNA! Can you believe it?”

“Not really. I was expecting to be paid much less. But this is definitely good! I’ll have to hold on to these.”

“How long are you going to save up all that money when we could buy apples with it?”

“Given how there are a lot of perfectly good apples lying around the floors of the dungeons we traverse, I don’t think we’ll have an apple shortage any time soon.”





There wasn’t any thunderstorm or inclement weather tonight. The sky was clear, the breeze was faint, and the moon was beautiful. I had my back to the window so I could write by the moonlight, and I managed to get everything in that I couldn’t get down while on sentry duty. I didn’t have much catch-up work to do, but still, it’s best to do so before I forget.

“Today was disappointing!” Rayne complained, breaking the silence.

“For you, maybe. I actually found it quite rewarding, if not a little boring.”

“I wanted to go fight baddies today! We must make up for that by fighting baddies tomorrow.”

“I definitely plan to do that, yes. Though we need to start easy. That Kabuto was a little out of our league. If it actually started attacking us we probably wouldn’t have lasted long.”

“Maybe there are some baddies lurking on the beach! If they’re anything like the Zubat or Koffing, they’ll be total pushovers!”

“Hopefully. We’ll have to see what the job board holds for us. Though I hope we don’t end up turning into vigilante bullies. That would be depressing.”

“Well, that’s why we’ll just mix it up a bit! We’ll just take a bunch of jobs at once, all in the same place! Besides, we’re only, what, Bronze Rank? We can do better than that! Now, sleep, DNA! You need to be awake in the morning so that you can wake me up when I sleep in!”

“Or, you could just go to bed early so I wouldn’t have to...never mind, you’re asleep already.”

And soon thereafter, so was I.

The next morning, Chatot gave us the freedom to look at the bulletins ourselves. That was good; that means we had a bit more leniency, and we could work on increasing our reputation, rather than just being caught in thankless guild work. Rayne kept bugging me to snag outlaw jobs, and I told her I hadn’t forgotten. In fact, even after snagging three jobs to catch outlaws in Beach Cave today, she still reminded me to not forget...and then continued to do so after I sorted out our items and started walking down to the beach with her in tow.



I thought the weird Spinda would be there at the rock, but instead it was a Wynaut and Wobbuffet pair that kept alternating saying “Right here, right?” and “That’s right!” in that order. I lament the joke that was lost in translation.

What I found the most amusing is that all three of the outlaws were Chingling. I wonder if it’s some sort of secret street Chingling gang or something. I don’t think about it for long, because after mulling over the words ‘Chingling gang’ in my head a few times, it started to sound racially insensitive to me. So I thought better of it and moved on. The first one was a bit of a dolt; it kept trying to hold down Rayne (it succeeded, so she was stuck), while it completely ignored the fact I was biting it repeatedly. It made a squeaky toy noise each time I did so. I thought it was so funny I was inclined to hear it again and again.

I’m horrible.

The second time was not quite as nice; we fell right into a monster house. The hostiles in Beach Cave aren’t exactly strong, so I had Rayne handle the tiny ones while I took on the big guy. It was still technically one-on-one, as before, though I got unlucky and he hit me hard with one of those weird psychic attacks that some people call confusing. Confusion? Confucius? Something like that. Thankfully that Reviver Seed was lying in my pocket. Rayne felt really pumped up and was ready to take on the third one, but I told her I didn’t have enough strength to take on a third one, and we’d have to work on it some other day. She protested, but relented when she saw I was really battered. That monster house worked exactly as that outlaw had planned. Unable to muster any more strength to go three-for-three, we headed back to the guild to collect what rewards we were able.




Team SOLO So Far:

DNA lv. 11
Rayne lv. 11

Bronze Rank (160 / 300)
Bag Size: 24

Yey! \o/

And I understand that it takes much time, I was just worried that you would stop posting. 3:

I didn't forget; don't you fret. I do a little bit of work on it every day.

This chapter is a lot longer than I remember.

~~~

[Back to Top]



I’m ashamed to say that I woke up later than usual, and Loudred had to yell me into action. My joints were still achy from yesterday, and I had really pushed myself close to my limits. Moving was a struggle, and standing even more so. I could barely open my eyes, I felt so exhausted, so I ended up stumbling down the hall with Rayne to listen to Chatot’s morning address. Both of us were still drowsy from yesterday and from not getting enough sleep.

But not for much longer.

“Everyone, listen up,” Chatot began, clearing his throat with a noise that sounded like a piccolo. “I have an important announcement to make. Far to the northeast, then farther into its outermost reaches, there lies a place named Treeshroud Forest...”

“A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away...” I mumbled, still a little delirious from sleep.

“In Treeshroud Forest, time has apparently stopped.”

And then I snapped awake, no longer imagining the text of Star Wars moving past me.

“You’re joking, right?”

“Yes, that’s correct...” Chatot went on, despite the murmurings of the other apprentices. “Time has come to a standstill in Treeshroud Forest... The wind has stopped... The clouds are motionless... Dewdrops on leaves won’t fall... They just hang there, suspended. In Treeshroud Forest, time itself has truly stopped.”

“But...How could something this awful happen?” one of the apprentices, a Sunflora, chimed in. “It’s unthinkable!”

“Yes, the unthinkable has happened,” Chatot answered. “Why has time stopped in Treeshroud Forest? Well, it’s because Treeshroud Forest’s Time Gear was...stolen!”

Everyone else registered complete shock, save me, because I still wasn’t fully awake yet to register the sheer gravity of the event. “So much for ‘the most hardened criminals’ avoiding them,” I murmur.

“I don’t get it, though!” Loudred yelled in anger. “Why would ANYONE take a Time Gear?!”

“Quiet, everyone!” Chatot screeched. I’m not entirely sure why, but there’s some sort of angry quality in Chatot’s screeches that make everyone sit down, shut up, and listen whenever he yells out one. Hey, if it works to get attention, then why not? He continued.

“Officer Magnezone has already started an investigation. It’s hard to believe that anyone would dare steal a Time Gear. But if one Time Gear can be stolen, the others may also be in danger. The officer asked to be notified immediately if we notice any suspicious characters. So keep that in mind. Let us know if you notice anything. That is all.”

“Seems simple enough,” Rayne noted. “Will do, Chatot.”

“All right, everyone! Here’s to another busy day of work!”

With a collective cry of “HOORAY!”, we all scattered off to our usual posts. Rayne and I were always the last to leave the room, because, at least for the time being, our duties weren’t exactly fixed, so we had to receive our assignments directly from Chatot. I mused on that for a bit. Did he not trust us to do daily routine tasks, and we’d have to be told? Or was it that we had more flexible schedules than the other apprentices? It’s not like there was any reason for us to disobey him; after all, this guild was essentially our livelihood now. I still had that option open for Rayne to try and find another place for us to stay if she wasn’t satisfied within a week or so. Come to think of it, hasn’t it been about a week?

“Rayne, a moment of your time, if you would.”

“What’s up, bro?”

“The ceiling.”



“Do you always say that?”

“No; sometimes I respond with ‘the temperature’. Anyway, have you thought about where you want to stay?”

“What do you mean?”

“Remember when we first moved in, and I said to give it a week? I think it’s been about a week since coming here, so have you made a final decision yet?”

“Oh! Well, I think I know where I want to go, but I haven’t fully decided yet. Do you mind if I tell you later? Say, after dinner? I promise by the end of today I will have made up my mind.”

“After dinner? All right. Just be aware that I’ll respect your decision and I’ll be behind you all the way regardless of what you pick. Now let’s see what Chatot has in store for us today.”

“Oh! That reminds me! I think I know what I’d like to do today!”

“Tell him, not me.”

“Oh, you there. You two, come here.” I could now recognize that chirp with my eyes closed.

“Yes, sir,” I answer. “What do you have tasked for us today?”

“First, I’d like to say you’ve become quite good at your work. I’m impressed with your capture of Drowzee. That was very admirable!” He sounded genuinely pleased. It wasn’t like one of his fake faces where he pretended to be happy for saying we’d go about our work for the day – no, he was actually proud of us.

“Thank you very much, sir,” I respond, bowing. “I...no, we...felt it was the right thing to do.”

“Indeed. So! You all will finally be assigned a mission worthy of a proper exploration team.”

“Ooh! Ooh!” Rayne called out, jumping up and down and waving her raised paw. It was like watching the overly enthusiastic child just waiting for the teacher to call on her.

“Yes, Rayne?”

“I think I know what it is! I know what you have in store for us today!”

“Do you, now?”

“Yes!” She adopted a ‘serious’ face as she continued to speak. I put ‘serious’ in quotes because an actual serious face from her comes about once in a blue moon. “Our mission is to apprehend the thief who stole the Time Gear from Treeshroud Forest! We will bring him in with our own hands, and be hailed as heroes! Our reward will be the acclaim of thousands, and an opportunity to view the beautiful Time Gear returned to its proper resting place!”

“Rayne, as cool as that is, that’s impossible at this time,” I interject.

“You’re just jealous because you didn’t think of that idea yourself first!”



“No, don’t be silly. First, I said it’s impossible at this time; it might be possible later, but not now. Second, we have absolutely no leads to the thief, so we don’t know who or where he is. Third, Treeshroud Forest isn’t on our Wonder Map right now. Whatever wizard is in charge of this thing has not deemed it fit to go to it yet.”

“Aww. Meanie. I thought it was a really cool idea.”

“I do too, but let’s put it on the to-do list, okay sis?”

“Fine, we’ll do it your way, for now. Okay, Chatot, what is our cool-but-not-quite-as-cool-as-my-idea job for today?”

“Let me see your Wonder Map,” he asks. I reach into my satchel and open it up, and Chatot points to a waterfall that’s only a short distance northeast of Treasure Town. It’s closer than most places we’ve been, so the journey there shouldn’t be too hard at all.

“Over here is where we would like you to investigate,” he continues. “See? There is a waterfall flowing here.”

“I can see it,” I answer. “It looks quite pretty. It’ll probably be even better in person.”

“By all appearances, it’s just an ordinary waterfall. But we’ve received intelligence that the waterfall may conceal a secret. And that’s where you come in. We want you lot to investigate the waterfall and determine what’s there. That’s all. Do you understand what this mission entails?”

“Yes, I understand,” I answer, putting the map away.

“Good! All right, I’ll leave you both to thoroughly investigate the waterfall!”

“Seems simple enough. Rayne, you ready? ...Rayne?”

I don’t get a response, so I turn to her. She’s visibly shaking, and her eyes are wide and even a little teary. I’m not sure what’s come over her, but her face seems to contain a mixture of anticipation, shock, relief, and opportunity.

“This...This is a real exploration, isn’t it...” Rayne speaks, stuttering a bit with her words. “We’re...actually going to prove ourselves, aren’t we... Visit someplace beautiful, and make a name for ourselves...”

“Are you all right, Rayne? You’re shaking...”

“I’ve been dreaming of this moment all week long! We’re finally going out as a proper exploration team, exploring the unknown! This is so utterly wonderful! Pinch me, I think I’m still dreaming! ...OW! DNA, I didn’t mean literally!”

“Then you shouldn’t ask, silly.”

“Let’s go before I turn into a cocktail shaker, DNA! The adventure awaits!”

“That’s a shame, because I’m actually a little thirsty.”

We’re climbing up the ladder on our way out, quickening our pace due to sheer excitement. I’m excited that we’re getting something to do, though I actually preferred taking the job bulletins because it quantifies our clout, and gives us more options later on. Rayne doesn’t care about that as much as the new places she gets to visit, and that’s made her positively ecstatic – and that’s what’s rubbing off on me.

What can I say? I’m easy to please. We’re almost out, but we’re stopped by one of our fellow guildmates, who calls out to us. We turn, and notice it’s Chimecho beckoning us over.

“Any reason you’re by a desk, Chimecho?” Rayne asks.

“I just started an Assembly here,” she explains. “Today, in fact!”

“An Assembly? For what?”

“Well...I was thinking... Aren’t you Rayne? The famous author?”

“Uhhhhhh... Famous? I wouldn’t say that...”

“Wait, who told you that Rayne was an author?” I ask.

“Well, someone who used to stay at our guild absolutely loved her books. She would simply rave about them, it was crazy! So I looked into it myself and...well, I read the books myself. They were as good as she said they were!”

“Out of curiosity, what was this Pokémon’s name?”

“Her name was Reyna, I believe.”

“OF course.”

“Reyna! I know that name!” Rayne exclaimed. “So, she told you about my books, Chimecho?”

“Yeah, she did! So I ordered a bunch to be shipped here, in the hopes that I could start a book club!”

“I thought you said it was an assembly?”

“A book club is a kind of assembly!”

“Oh great, now there’s two of them,” I murmur.

“Anyway, Rayne, I need to ask you a favor! When you go out exploring, can you see if there are any Pokémon interested in forming a book club? We could all get together and read your books together as a group, and it’d be a great opportunity for everyone to get to know each other!”



“Wow, that sounds like a great idea!” Rayne exclaimed. “I’d love to do that!”

“Sweet!” Chimecho responded. “In that case, let me ring the Friendship Bell!” She did a little dance, twirling about in the air and ringing her chime. “Also, can I ask you another favor, O great author?”

“What might that be?”

“Could you find some time to autograph all the books I ordered? It’d be so cool if everyone got a signed copy!”

“How many books did you order?”

“About two hundred, why?”

“Uhhhh... Ask me again this afternoon, when we get back, okay?”

I don’t believe I’d ever seen Rayne feel more awkward in my life. It was a funny moment. She only narrowly dodged a bullet of having to sign about 200 of her books by hand. I have a feeling Chimecho ordered way too many, but that might be the consequence of being an obsessive fan. On the way out, I notice a sign posted by the crossroads, next to a staircase leading down underground. It was in the same place as that rock that strange Spinda was carrying on a dialogue with, so I couldn’t help but wonder if that same Spinda was responsible.

I read the sign aloud for the both of us. “Spinda’s Café! A Shop of Hopes and Dreams, Opening Soon! Win Big! ...This sounds like loud Engrish to me.”

“Maybe it has a lottery or something? Sounds exciting!”

“A lottery? A tax on people who are bad at math? Sounds like I’d best keep you away.”

“Oh hush. But at least that ‘hopes and dreams’ bit sounds interesting. Maybe we can come back later, when the dust settles and it opens up.”

“Fair enough, but we have our own ‘hopes and dreams’ to be getting too. To the waterfall!”



The walk to the waterfall was actually rather pleasant, honestly. The road was set about with trees on either end, casting shade upon our path. I didn’t feel any need to hurry or rush; I spent a lot of the time just basking in the niceness of a cool sunny day. As far as the weather was concerned, it was absolutely perfect.

Usually when I start paragraphs like these, there is always some snag that detracts from what would otherwise be ideal, and today was no exception. As usual, it was Rayne chiming in with non sequiturs, but they were so adorable I didn’t seem to mind them today.

“And after fifty paces northeast, turn and knock on the tree trunk three times, then spin around once and sniff the flower. Take ten paces east before going twenty paces south, and then... um... um... and then follow DNA because he knows where we’re going and I don’t!”

Told you so.

In time, the dirt path gave way to stone, and the trees gave way to streams and cliffs. A fine mist filled the air, and there was a roar off in the distance, that grew steadily louder the closer we approached. The noise of a waterfall crashing down at its base was unmistakable; we were definitely getting close. It got to a point where I could barely hear myself think. And when we actually arrived at the waterfall, it was breathtaking.

I couldn’t even see the top when looking up. We were standing on a rock jutting outward from the rest of the land, coming to a stop right in front of the waterfall. Understandably, this entire rock was extremely slippery, so I moved very slowly and cautioned Rayne to do the same. This didn’t stop Rayne from landing on her bottom twice. I wasn’t surprised.

Of course, I should take care not to slip off the edge here, or I might meet a rather grisly end.

“So this is the waterfall that’s supposed to have a secret...” Rayne said.

“I can’t hear you,” I answered, raising my voice.

“So this is the waterfall that’s supposed to have a secret!”

“Yes it is! It looks really awesome!”

“Be careful! If you fell down, you’d get really battered up!”

“I’ll try my best! Falling off would be bad!”

“Why are we yelling?”

“I don’t know! I can hear you just fine!”



“So, this is the waterfall. What should we investigate, though?”

“Maybe see if there’s a path behind it?”

“Maybe! Though, I am kinda thirsty...”

And then she did something that surprised even me. She walked up to the edge of the rock, and stuck her tongue out. Yes, she actually stuck her tongue out into the waterfall to drink it. It didn’t work quite as well as she’d hoped. It was like a thousand tiny pistols of water exploding on the surface of her tongue, shattering into a shrapnel of drips that careened everywhere. The sheer pressure from the falling water stuck her tongue in place, so she wasn’t able to pull it back. I saw her doing this, and made my way forward, pulling her away from the stream.

“Next time, if you want to do that, fill up the canteen and then drink it,” I reprimanded.

“...oh. Yeah, you’re right.”

“If I hadn’t been there, it’d be a struggle just to get yourself—ouch!” I fell to one knee.

“What’s wrong?!”

“Dizzy again...all I did was graze the waterfall!” I was squinting, losing vision fast.

“You’re getting another vision! Don’t worry! I’m holding your head!”

Eventually I’d get used to this. But I wish these visions wouldn’t be triggered by migraines. After the flash of white light, I saw...I saw where we were right now, the rock in front of the waterfall. A figure in the shape of a Wigglytuff – it was a bit blurred, but I could tell – looked back and forth a bit, then after a running start, charged headlong into the waterfall and landed in a cave on its opposite side. Then all faded to black, and I opened my eyes again.

“What did you see, DNA?” Rayne asked me, as I got to my feet.

“Finch!” I yelled up to the heavens, shaking my fist.

“The Guildmaster?”

“Wouldn’t surprise me. Anyway, he ran into the waterfall and landed in a cave. This leads me to believe there’s a cave on the other side of this waterfall, and that Chatot’s intel was Finch.”

“...and you’re sure he didn’t hurt or kill himself in the process? He is a little deranged...”

“I know how deranged he is, but he very clearly survived that leap, so my vision tells me.”

“What do you suggest we do?”

“Get a running start and charge. And don’t you dare chicken out.”

“What makes you think I was going to chicken out? I’m a big girl, you know!”

“Then prove it,” I replied, taking a few steps back, preparing to run.

“But what if we just get smashed against a rock wall?”

“Rayne, do you remember the rule we have about dying?”

“We’re not allowed to?”

“Exactly. So no matter what happens to us, we’re going to be fine, because we can’t die.”

“...That sounds like something I would say.”

“Then you’re clearly rubbing off on me.” Then I took off, full power. “Stoners only live once!!”



The last thing I remember Rayne saying after that was “I can’t believe you just—” before the sound of rushing water filled my ears. Some of the water got in my ears too.

I was sprinting, no doubt about it. Even now I’m not sure what motivated me to this. Was it a desire to prove myself? Was it a sensation of fear or adrenaline? Was it an inward longing to show off to my sister that, hey, I can be cool too, you know? Whatever the reason might be, I ran as fast as those stubby puppy legs would take me. I was going to find that cave behind the waterfall or die trying.

The first thing that happened to me was the water. It was cascading down at a magnificent speed, and very quickly knocked the wind right out of me. I was only halfway past it and it struck me everywhere at once, letting gravity do the rest. The hit was so sudden that I was still running even while in the air, and my body hadn’t registered the surprise of it yet.

Then I started tumbling along the ground, turning over about three times before eventually coming to a halt. I was lying on my face and I felt like I had acquired several new bruises. I lifted myself to my feet and checked myself for injuries, and aside from the few bruises, I was fine – no broken bones, nothing missing (all of my equipment was present and accounted for, and strangely not very waterlogged), nothing out of place, and still alive.

I looked about to survey my surroundings. The floor appeared to be made of some kind of coarse red sand, rather than rock, so it functioned as a good shock absorber (and also explained why the fall didn’t outright kill me). Looking in front of me, I could see a cave going deeper in, but the further away from the cave, the higher the ceiling got, as if the room was shaped like half a cone. I trailed the ceiling to find out where it went, and saw it get higher and higher – probably about twenty feet up – until it finally stopped.

It began to make sense. The wall behind me, the point where the ceiling stopped...it was the waterfall. The conical ceiling would be for those larger, who weren’t dragged down quite as fast by the deluge, but would eventually fall on the sand floor. Light shone in from the outside through the water, but most notably near the top, where it appeared I jumped in from; I could catch a fleeting shadow of the rock we had been standing on.

Before I could analyze the room any further, Rayne came bounding through the air, emerging from the waterfall at a point roughly ten feet above my head. Her eyes were fast shut, presumably from the shock and all the water attacking her all at once. My instincts appeared to take over, and I ran backwards so that I could catch her as she fell, much like a quarterback would catch an incoming pass.

The impact made a ‘boof’ noise as she hit my chest and I fell on my bottom, but it was worth it.

“Touchdown!!” I yelled, throwing my arms up into the air.

“Nice save, bro,” she mumbled, opening her eyes and blinking to adjust to the surroundings. “Now, where are we?”

“The cave behind the waterfall; where else would we be?”

“For a minute there, I thought we were both dreaming. I mean, you were being even sillier than me, and now you catch me like a pigskin ball? You’re supposed to be the serious one!”

“I’m on break,” I reply, giving her a quick hug and setting her down. “So, you ready to go?”

“To explore the cave behind the waterfall? Yes, sir! It’s like being in an Indiana Jones film!”



It was a rather interesting cave to be sure, and one that looked like it hadn’t been disturbed by the outside world in a very long time. I wasn’t even expecting to see anyone else here, so when a hostile Psyduck came almost out of nowhere and almost attacked me...

“Quack, play Vanguard!”

...I reacted in utter surprise and gave it a Force Palm to the face. The poor thing never knew what hit it. The cryptic quacking would explain a lot of things, though, like where lurkers hide.

I was even more surprised to find a small makeshift shop down here. A Kecleon had opened up a small kiosk to peddle his wares, but I didn’t have any money at the time (I had stored it with Duskull), nor was I really expecting to see a Kecleon down here. As we pass by it, I think to myself about how many of them are named ‘Anna’. Probably not as many as I think.



We also managed to get about four potential members for Rayne’s, or rather Chimecho’s, new book club. It was interesting to see Rayne put on the spot like that, but each of the recruitment conversations had a happy ending, of which I was pleased to see. So popular.

Most of the water down here looked like it was standing water, or at least it would be, if there weren’t Pokémon living down here already. The floor was also unusually soft, like sand, which I suppose also helped to cushion the fall. Light didn’t travel very far; what little hints of light we had either came from the entrance, or in little cracks in the ceiling, from which small rays fell to the ground. I did notice in some bits of the water, however, that they appeared to glow, as if bioluminescent organisms lived in them. It was pretty interesting, more so than I was expecting!

But it got even better.

At the cave’s end, it seemed to taper off much like the outside did – a rock path surrounded by water and cliff faces on both edges, or as much of a cliff face as a cave could have. The water wasn’t particularly deep this time, nor was there a raging waterfall at the far end, but what was most notable of all was that there were rather large gems sticking out of the ground.

Guess what Rayne said.

“We’re rich, DNA!! Just imagine it – all the apples we can eat!!”

Did you get it? Yes? No? Well, moving right along then...

“Rayne, how about you let me manage our money?”

“Oh, right. I forgot for a moment that you were the responsible one. That running jump almost convinced me that you were as crazy as me!”

“I am as crazy as you; I just don’t show it. ...It seems the gems are buried pretty deep into the ground, so it’ll be a bit of a struggle to get them out.”

“What about that one, at the far end?”

“What about—holy moly, that thing is huge. The gem is about as big as you, and probably about as heavy, too.”

“Hey! Are you calling me fat?”

“No; that gem clearly gets less exercise than you do.”

She started snickering. “Anyway, let’s try and take this one back with us! Everyone will be amazed if we take it back!”

“It’s pretty big, so let’s try and pull it out together.”

It was at this moment I realized how tiny we were. The thing simply would not budge. Not only that, its surface was incredibly slippery, so it was hard to get a grip as well, but even if I could get a better grip, it probably would not have helped. It got to the point where we were trying to pull it up and instead fell backward onto the ground.

Rayne was mildly irritated that it didn’t work; I was distracted because I got another dizzy spell.

As before, it showed Finch, and he was in this very room. Instead of pulling the gem, he decided to push it, to see the result. It moved in closer to the wall with a click, and at the sound of the click, a torrent of water poured into the room and carried him out.

“What did you see this time, DNA?” Rayne asked me, who was holding my head and I didn’t even notice. The dizzy spells were getting worse. Not good.

“It was Finch again. He ended up pushing the gem and it triggered a switch, and right after that, this entire chamber flooded with water and he was pushed out. Almost like what you’d see in an Indiana Jones movie.”

“Positive?”

“Positive.”

“So, you’re saying, if I push this, we’ll get blasted with a giant jet of water?”

“Yes, I believe so.”

“...I hope you brought your floaties, because it’s time for the World’s Greatest Waterslide!”

“No no no NO NO RAYNE DON’T YOU DARE PUSH THAT—”

And then everyone got wet.

“WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!”

I wasn’t screaming because I was too preoccupied trying not to choke on all the water.





I must have blacked out during the so-called waterslide. My vision blurred into nothing as the water carried us off, and the last thing I remember before that was being pushed not forward, but upward by the rushing stream. A geyser, perhaps?

When I came to, I was floating on my back in the middle of a small pool, which only felt about a foot deep or so. My face was towards the sky, and I could see the clouds slowly moving past...wait a minute. The sky? Clouds? How did we get outside?

I struggle to right myself, but I ended up merely splashing in place; water is a totally different creature than land, and I’d forgotten that. Then I do it right, leaning my torso forward and my legs back so that I’d either be standing on the bottom of the pool or treading water. Since it was only a foot deep, it turned out to be the former.

I looked around me to see where I was. Rayne was also lying on her back, but she hadn’t come to just yet. There were the faces of several other Pokémon in the pool simply staring at us. The water’s color was an odd murky shade of light brown, and the pool was beset by cobblestones round about. Standing on a particularly large stone was a Torkoal, who was the first to speak.

“Are you two all right?” he asked.

“I think I am,” I answered. “Let me see how my partner’s doing. ...Rayne, wake up.”

I slap her face lightly to get her to come to, and thankfully it didn’t take much effort. Sadly, the first thing she did, after looking around to see where we were, was “Again! Again!!”

“Don’t. You. Dare.”

“So, bro, where are we?”

“This is the Hot Spring,” the Torkoal answered. “The Hot Spring works wonders on tired muscles and creaky joints. Many Pokémon visit here.”

“That’s great and all,” I replied, “but how’d we get here?”

“Do you see the crater behind me?”

I looked behind the Torkoal, and...it wasn’t a crater like you’d think of one. There was a small rock formation behind him that appeared to be shaped like a very small volcano – and by very small, I mean it was only five feet tall above the ground.

“I do, yes.”

“A great jet of water sprang forth from it, and with it came you two, who splashed into the water. You startled everyone. Except me, of course.”

“So, it’s like a geyser of sorts. That would explain how we got here, since before blacking out, we were in an underground cave.”

“Tell me, youngster, have you a map?”

“Yeah, I do.” Before taking the Wonder Map out of the satchel, I wade to the surface first and sit there; I could feel the water already beginning to seep into my clothes, and since I’m not sure of an efficient way of drying clothes here (have you seen any clotheslines in the Pokémon world? If you do, let me know, because I sure haven’t), I didn’t want to take the chance. I beckon Rayne to do the same as I unfold the map, and notice a bit more of it has been filled in. The map’s a little wet, but nothing that a small wring wouldn’t fix.

“There. We are here,” Torkoal points to the map, showing the Hot Spring’s location. It seems to be a small ways southeast of Waterfall Cave, but in relation to how far it was from Treasure Town, the Hot Spring was three times farther away from it than the cave.

“That waterslide carried us all the way over here?” Rayne asked me, looking over my shoulder.

“Seems that way.”

There was a short pause before she responded. “Again! Again!!”

“Do that on your own time, Rayne. That was both terrifying and exhausting.”

“Aw, c’mon, please?” She tugged my shoulder, so I turned to face her.

“No, I really don’t—” Then I stopped short. She was giving me the ‘sad puppy’ face. Those of you with younger sisters (or even younger siblings in general) are probably familiar with being given the sad puppy face in an attempt to convince you to do something for her, just because it’ll make her happy, and therefore it’ll make you happy (or at least not annoyed) as a result.

That’s what I was being given here, except when you get that face from a Vulpix, it becomes about five times worse.



“Okay, fine!” I exclaim in exasperation, throwing my hands into the air. “Just not today, okay? I’m really tired and exhausted both physically and mentally from our escapade today.”

“Yay! Thanks, bro! But the cave wasn’t that tricky to navigate, right?”

“The cave isn’t the problem. Have you forgotten who I’m taking care of? You’re a handful!”

“Admit it, you’re having lots of fun!”

“I’m not denying that, but it doesn’t change that you wear me out a lot. Some other day, okay?”

“That’s fine by me, but I will hold you to that promise, mister!”

“What a long journey you must have had!” the Torkoal interjected, eliciting a surprised ‘yip’ from us both, followed by a ‘How long were you listening?’ But he brushed it off with a “Let the Hot Spring wash away your fatigue before you make your way home.”

I honestly couldn’t deny the merit in the idea. I managed to successfully convince Rayne into sticking around here for a while and resting. It was like a Jacuzzi, except I didn’t get a headache from sitting in it; the Hot Spring was making the surrounding area around it warm as well, so there wasn’t such a radical change in temperature when getting out.

(This is literally the reason why I can’t stand Jacuzzis. The temperature changes too fast and I get headaches from it. Also, I prefer the cold anyway.)

I’m not sure how long we decided to stick around, but time seemed to go by very quickly during our rest. There was about six of us in all, and we simply made small talk with each other, talking about all manner of silly things. Our appearance from that miniature geyser was the main topic of choice, however, and a lot of time was devoted to that. Rayne told the story in her usual excited storyteller voice, saving me the trouble of having to explain things. Of course, it was a bit frustrating each time she said “And DNA thought that riding the waterslide was a bad idea.”

I still stand by that, though, to be fair, how else would you get out of that cave? Maybe it was set up that way on purpose, so as to blast people away from the cave and awaken in the Hot Spring. It would not only double as an exciting adventure, but also grant publicity for the Hot Spring being able to take a waterslide all the way there...

...Oh, those clever bastards.



We decided to pack up and leave the Hot Spring at the first hint of sunset, when the first streak of orange appeared in the sky. Fortunately, by then, our clothes had long since dried off and there were a few space heaters set up around the area for us to do the same.

They all looked like miniature Torkoal statues.

They thought of everything.



The walk back to the guild was extremely pleasant. Up above in the sky, streaks of orange began to appear and spread outward, painting a beautiful picture of an expanding sunset. The two of us were walking in tandem with each other, full of energy having rested at the Hot Spring earlier, and not experiencing even the tiniest bit of fatigue. And on top of that, we could report back to Chatot that our mission was a success. Despite the snags and the constant mental screaming, I believe this day turned out to be a marvelous triumph! Everyone was happy!

Though I was a little confused, as you’ll soon see, when I gave my report to Chatot, in the furthest downstairs lobby, where the apprentices normally gather at the start of each day.

“Hmm, let me see if I’ve got this all straight,” Chatot said at length, after I’d finished explaining the gist of what happened to us during the day. “Behind the waterfall, there is a cave... In the deepest part of the cave, there is a gigantic gem... When you pushed on the gem, it triggered a trap of some kind... And, surprisingly, you were flushed off to the distant Hot Spring? Is that the gist of your report?”

“Yes, sir,” I answered.

“Sorry we didn’t bring the gem back,” Rayne offered apologetically. “It would have been pretty awesome to bring it back for everyone...”

“No, no, no!” Chatot protested. “Emphatically, no! This is a major discovery!” Clearly he was much more excited at what we had found out, not from the objects we’d brought back.

“R-really!?”

“Undoubtedly! After all, the presence of the cave behind the waterfall... No one knew about that until now!”

“Wow! Thanks a lot, Chatot! You hear that, DNA? We traversed through uncharted territory!”

“Your waterfall discovery is amazing! The Guildmaster must be told!”

“I’m not entirely so sure...” I answer.

“What? Why not?” Rayne asked me.

“I’m fairly sure that Finch himself has been there before, at least on one occasion.”

“But DNA, don’t your visions usually show the future, not the past?”

“That’s a good question... I suppose we should ask Finch himself...”

“No, no, no!” Chatot chirped, raising his voice. “Emphatically no! That’s inconceivable! If that were so, the Guildmaster wouldn’t have ordered you to investigate the place, right?”

“In all fairness, sir, the Guildmaster’s motives are not always clear. Could we ask him?”

“Hmm. However, since you insist, I will confirm it with the Guildmaster...”

Chatot then turned around to face the outside window, and began talking to himself. “Hmm... But why would they want to spoil their own discovery! How strange! I should be used to it by now... These apprentices are yet another strange crew, aren’t they...?”

“Um, Chatot...we can hear you. You’re thinking out loud again.”

“What!? Oh, that was...nothing! Nothing at all!”

I whisper to Rayne. “Sounds like he doesn’t know what ‘inner monologue’ is.”

“Anyway, I will go confirm what you told me with the Guildmaster. Please wait here.”

Chatot then entered the Guildmaster’s chamber and closed the door behind him. Presumably he was going to discuss with the big man himself the nature of our findings, as well as whether or not he went to the waterfall cave before.

“Wanna play rock-paper-scissors while we wait, DNA?” Rayne asked me.

“Sure. It’d help past the time.”

We played five games and she lost every time.

“No!” she exclaimed. “My ultimate strategy is always supposed to work!”

“And what is this ‘ultimate strategy’?”

“Always pick paper!”

“Given how my strategy is ‘always pick scissors’, you’re going to have a hard time.”

Yes, that really is my rock-paper-scissors strategy. There’s a bit more to it than that, so I won’t pick scissors one hundred percent of the time, but now that I’ve told you, I will have to kill you.

After that little debacle, Chatot emerged from the Guildmaster’s quarters to report to us.

“So how’d it go?” Rayne asked.

“When I asked the Guildmaster, he mulled it over for a bit. And then he said...”

Suddenly, Chatot began to perform the best Finch impression I’ve ever heard in my life.

“Oh, memories! Sweet memories! YOOM...TAH! ...Then he danced around a bit. And then he said... Yes, yes! When I think hard, maybe I did go there once! ...And that’s just what the Guildmaster said.”

“That was an extremely good Guildmaster impression,” I reply, clapping. “I applaud you.”

“Ah, thank you! Though, to sum it up, it’s just as DNA suspected... He has indeed already been to Waterfall Cave.”

“Thought as much. It’s a mite disappointing, since it could have been a major new discovery, but...but I’m not sad or anything. We had fun! Thanks for giving us the chance.”

“The Guildmaster can be rather, uh, erratic at times... Even I can’t quite fathom what goes on in his head.”

“With all due respect, sir, I don’t think anybody does. Finch is quite...inscrutable.”

“Nevertheless, I shall expect your best effort tomorrow!”

“It’s going to be pretty hard to top an awesome adventure like that, mister!” Rayne proclaimed. “Nothing beats the exhilaration of jumping through waterslides!”

“Well, we’ll just have to create an even bigger adventure, won’t we?” I told her.



With the moon now high in the air, and food in both of our stomachs, the two of us are quite sleepy. While the rest at the hot spring did relieve some of our fatigue, it didn’t relieve all of it – the rest would have to be done by that wondrous thing we call ‘sleep’. I fear that Rayne won’t wake up again when Loudred appears, but this just gives me an opportunity to pull a prank.

What will I do, you ask? Well, have you ever heard of flipping the table?

But for now, it was time for our usual pre-sleep banter.

“Rayne, when you have a chance, I have a question to ask you.”

“Just let me finish signing all these books. My hand is cramping up like no other.”

Yes, as soon as dinner was over, Chimecho handed Rayne a pen and all 200 or so books. Rayne put them in stacks in her room and started signing each and every one. Only now was she finally wrapping up, and it was doing a number on her writing hand.

“OK, DNA, I’m done!” She put the pen aside and turned to me. “So, what’s the question?”

“It concerns something I mentioned earlier,” I answered, massaging her paw to relieve that monster of a cramp that had been building up. “In regards to staying here at the guild, you promised me you’d have an answer after dinner.”

“Yeah, I did. I have to say, were it not for you constantly nagging me to stick with it, I wouldn’t be nearly as certain in my decision as I am right now. But I think we should stay, definitely. We’re getting a place to stay, food in our tummies, everyone here is really friendly, and we’re a bona fide exploration team, with fancy badges and explorer outfits and everything!” She twirled her hat and straightened her jacket, as if showing off her threads.

“I like it here too, honestly. I’ll be frank; I’m not sure where we were going to go if not here. I know you said you talked to that couple who was moving out; did you hear back from them?”

“Yeah, I stopped briefly by their place. They’d finished moving out and they said that their place is free to use for whenever we want it.”

“Remind me where they lived.”

“By the cliff face off to the west. I think the locals call it Sharpedo Bluff?”

“They had a house overlooking the ocean? Fancy.”

“Yeah, but then we’d have to cook our own meals and stuff, and we’re too lazy for that right now! Besides, they only just moved out today so it would have taken a long while anyway.” She continued to talk, pulling her paw away as the cramping had subsided. “You know what? Today’s been the best day yet! We had our first official exploration to a new place as an exploration team! I was ready to burst with excitement and anticipation the whole time! And it’s just one stepping stone on the way to me figuring out what that Relic Fragment does! Eventually we’ll get to explore the place that tells us what it is.”

“I certainly hope you do. That would be most excellent.”

“And I had your company, guidance, and protection the whole time. It would have been terribly boring and lonely if I was doing this all on my own! Having someone to talk to – my brother, no less! – makes it all the more exciting. So...thanks. Thanks a bunch. Thanks...” She stretched her arms out as far apart as they could go. “...THIS much!”

“Ahahahaha... No problem. I always enjoy the company, even if it’s somewhat kiddish at times.”

“You know you love it. Oh! I just thought of something! You know when you have those visions? I’ve noticed it happens whenever you touch something. Each time you touched something, or it touched you, you learned something about it, either its future or past. You’re like an all-seeing item wizard!”

“I prefer the term ‘conditional clairvoyant’, thank you very much. I can’t control these visions. If I could though, that would be really neat. And while I’m at it, make them not cause headaches...”

My train of thought was disrupted briefly with the sound of a chirp and a knock. Chatot had come up to our room and said that the Guildmaster wanted to see us both immediately. I was surprised that he wanted to see us this late. Come to think of it, given the training regime and sleep schedules, I bet we were the only four awake in the guild right now.

We were escorted into the Guildmaster’s chambers. The two torches on either side of his desk were lit, and Finch was facing the wall. I had a feeling he was going to make a bit of a spontaneous entrance, so while Chatot was trying to get Finch’s attention, I was counting in my head.

“Guildmaster, I’ve brought you Team SOLO,” Chatot proclaimed, as soon as we were all comfortably standing. There was a pause as Chatot didn’t appear to get an answer. “Guildmaster... Guildmaster?” he went on.

Meanwhile, my mental counting transitioned to speech. “Four, three, two, one...”

“Hiya!” Finch exclaimed, turning around towards us in the blink of an eye.

“Yep, thought so.”

“Your team went through a lot today! Yes, a lot-lot! But don’t worry! I’m keeping watch on your activities!”

“Does this mean that the poster you gave us really does have eyes?”

“No, silly, it’s that your badge has a GPS tracking chip inside it.”

“...Of course, how foolish of me to not realize that. It also explains how we get beamed out of dungeons so very easily.”

“I should tell you why I called you here. We’re planning to mount a full expedition soon!”

“An expedition? Like exploration into unknown territory?”

“Wait, what!?” Rayne exclaimed, now fully engrossed in the conversation. She ran up to me and started surveying the conversation by peeking over my shoulder.

“You can listen in just by standing next to me, you know.”

“Your shoulders are comfy.”

I paused briefly. “...Please continue, Guildmaster.”

“I can explain,” Chatot answered. “The guild will go explore someplace far away! It’s much harder than exploring our nearby area. That’s why we need to prepare for the big trip properly. We carefully choose which guild members go on the expedition.”

“Really?!” Rayne exclaimed, leaning forward even farther.

“If you lean any farther, Rayne, I’m going to fall forward.” Then to Chatot. “That would make sense, since for that grand of an undertaking, there would have to be some sort of selection process.”

“Usually,” Finch explained, “we would never, ever consider rookies to be expedition members. But you two are working so very hard! That’s why we’re making a special exception this time! We decided to include you in the list of candidates for the expedition!”

“Really?!” Rayne exclaimed yet again. Then she fell forward onto my back and I fell forward onto my face, but not in that order. I know I said before at the bottom of Waterfall Cave that she wasn’t fat, and I still stand by those words, but wow is she heavy.

“Now, now, you haven’t been chosen yet!” Chatot chimed in, jumping. I could still hear him just fine, though my face was a bit muffled by the floor. “There is still time before we set out on the expedition. If you fail to do good work before then, you cannot expect to be selected.”

“I’m sure you two can do it!” Finch encouraged.

I flashed both Finch and Chatot a thumbs-up from my position on the ground, indicating that I heard and understood their instructions. Then I used my other hand to nudge Rayne off my back, because apparently she forgot that I’m not a cushion, and had to be reminded to get off of me. I thanked Finch and Chatot for their time, and the two of us headed back to our room, with Rayne now talking a mile a minute about all the exciting stuff that might happen.

“Isn’t it exciting, DNA? The guild is planning an expedition and they might let us on it! Can you imagine how cool that would be!? We could go explore places that no one has ever seen before and I can relish it all in my mind and store it as memories forever! Exploring this world is gonna be so great; we can find all the cool new treasures and explore all the cool new caves and write all the cool new stories, and bring back fantastical treasures for us all, while we work up to be the best exploration team ever! Team SOLO will become a household name throughout Treasure Town and I will not rest until—”

Well, I know who’ll be staying up late tonight.


Team SOLO So Far:

DNA lv. 11
Rayne lv. 11

Bronze Rank (160 / 300)
Bag Size: 24

Originally I gave it also a subtitle of "Unwanted Cowabunga", but I think it distracted from the joke. So I just left it as is.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Chapter 8 is my favorite chapter of SOLO thus far and I've re-read it more times than any other chapter, just because of how much it makes me smile.
To show how much it makes other people smile, here are some Skype convos I had on the day that it went up:







I tried it on Rayne but she was just confused. Maybe next time.

Next chapter should be going up in a day or so.

This chapter goes out to all of you people who start school this week, and want to be welcomed home with a nice relaxing read that will lighten your spirits and make everything feel better.

Especially you, Rayne. You're the best. <3

~~~

[Back to Top]



Much to my delight, I was awake before Loudred made it to our room the following morning. I believe I owe that to our midday recovery at the hot spring; had I not done that, I would have probably slept in, since that day was exhausting in a multitude of ways – physically, mentally, and of course emotionally.

I still have the “Again! Again!” playing on repeat in my head.

Time for a little bit of payback.

Rayne’s still asleep, as usual, so I grab the bedding she’s sleeping on firmly, and with one quick and strong motion, I flipped it. This caused Rayne to fall on the ground, upside-down, with the round straw bed resting over her.

Did it wake her up? Yes, and that’s all I care about.



“...That’s getting really old, DNA,” Rayne mumbles as she pushes the bedding off of her.

“You’re right,” I answer. “Next time I’ll just go back to the water in the ear. But at least I can say I flipped the table.”

“There are no tables in this place.”

“I’ll take what I can get. Now let’s go; Loudred still isn’t here yet.”



Loudred was rather shocked that we managed to reach the apprentice’s lobby before he had to wake us up. I explained to him that I was the one who woke up early, and then promptly flipped Rayne’s mattress over. He understood perfectly and had a good laugh. Worth it.

Chatot’s daily morning address surprised me, not because it was different than the usual business of the day (those happened every so often anyway), but he said something I found strange.

“Ahem!” he began. “As I was explaining...there is a lake far to the east.”

I don’t remember him talking about any lake before. I quickly flicked through my logbook to see if there were any mentions of Chatot talking about a lake. In fact, the only mention I could find of a lake at all was that one of the Time Gears was possibly hidden in an underground lake.

“There are many aspects of that lake that remain mysterious,” he went on. “We hope to unravel those mysteries. And so, our guild is planning to mount an expedition for the first time in a while.”

For about half a second, my brain twanged, thinking that Chatot was the one who stole the Time Gear before. Then I remembered it was totally impossible since he stays in the guild all day. All. Day. The guy seriously has zero free time. I pity him. The apprentices speak excitedly.

“An expedition, you say? Yes, please! Yes sirree!”

“It’s been a long time since we went on an expedition!”

“But... That means you’re going to be picking members for the expedition from ALL of us again, right?”

“Precisely!” Chatot answered the question asked by who was no doubt Loudred. His voice was unmistakable. I was starting to learn each one’s quirks and such. “We will depart in several days. Over these next few days, we will choose the most worthy apprentices. The chosen members will form the expedition party. Everyone, work hard so that you may be chosen for the expedition!”

This generated no small measure of excitement. I was looking around the crowd of us ten, and most of them were shaking with anticipation. They were positively giddy; everyone wanted to be picked to go on the expedition. And there’s little surprise to that; I’d assume something like this only comes around once in a blue moon. Of course, there was one apprentice that I was paying attention to more than the others, for whom ‘giddy’ was an understatement.

“I have been waiting...my whole life...for this moment...”

“It’s only been a little over a week.”

“What makes you think I didn’t have this dream before coming here?”

“Okay, fair enough.”

“DNA. We HAVE to get picked for this. We must do whatever is necessary to get picked for this expedition. Even bribery, if it comes to that!”

“Chatot can hear you, you know.” I don’t know if he was paying attention, though.

“I know, I know! But this is something I’ve always wanted to do! Scouting out unknown territory, seeing new things, and boldly going where no man has gone before!”

“You’re a woman.”

“I know! And if I get there before any man does, it will make history!”

I cleared my throat.

“If the history books ask, the story is that I made it there with you in tow as my assistant.”

“Even though I’m the leader of the team? That wouldn’t really make much sense.”



“But you’re nice enough to let me have the moment, aren’t you?”

“...Yes, I am. And I don’t want you flashing those puppy-dog eyes at me again.”

“Oh, stop it, you. Now let’s go take as many jobs as we can muster!”

“Without getting stomped or worn out in the process, sure.”

“They’ll just have to pick us for the expedition party!” Rayne continued as we climbed up the stairs to the main lobby. “We need to prove ourselves the best apprentices we can be!”

“I don’t know about the best,” I answered, having finished ascending the ladder, “but—”

“DNA? What’s the matter?”

I rushed in front of Rayne, standing between her and the board. My eyes had noticed something I would have rather not seen, and frankly, didn’t want to see. Two individuals were there in front of the job bulletin board, looking it over, scrutinizing the jobs. And I’d seen them before. They were the Zubat and Koffing duo that tried to mug Rayne.

“Rayne, get behind me. Now.”

She almost asked why, but then noticed who I was looking at. Wordlessly, she obeyed. I signaled that we were going to walk slowly towards the job board, and act very nonchalantly about the whole ordeal. “I’ll do the talking,” I whispered to Rayne, and the two of us began to walk over to the board. I wasn’t going to pay them any mind, though I had my eye on them at all times in case they were to try something funny.

It took the two of them a while to notice us, since we were now wearing explorer outfits (as opposed to before, where I just had sand in my face), but when they did, it clicked.

“Hey!” “You two?!”

“Oh, hi guys,” I answered cheerfully. “How’s it going?”

“What are you doing here!?” the Zubat exclaimed.

“I could ask you guys that question too.” My tone was still nonchalant. “What brings you here?”

“Whoa-ho-ho! I’ll have you know that we’re an exploration team too,” Koffing answered.

“Heh-heh-heh. What’s so funny about an exploration team checking out the Job Bulletin Board?”

“No need to be smug about it, Zubat,” I said. “Though, that does surprise me. A team? Truly?”

“That’s right,” Koffing told me. “Though the way we operate isn’t always...by the book. But what a surprise! Why would you be here?”

“We work here. We’re a team too.”

“Whaaaat?!”

“Why is that so surprising? If you two are a team, why can’t us two?”

“Well, I can see you maybe, but...” The Koffing turns to Rayne. “You! Come with us for a second.”

I immediately step in front of the Koffing and shoot him a glare. “Touch her and I drop you.” He backed off without a fight. He could tell I was serious. No amount of etiquette would have stopped me from what I just said I might do.

“Fine, but...now don’t take what I’m about to say the wrong way. You should just forget about being on an exploration team!”

“...what kind of crap-talk is that?” I ask.

“Well, you’re goofy. You trip up easily. And you have to drag someone weak around with you everywhere. Someone like you can’t cut it on an exploration team.”

“I am NOT weak!” Rayne yelled, interrupting, jumping in front and facing the two of them head-on. “I’m training here at this guild so I can be the best explorer EVER! And when we discover something awesome on the expedition, my position will be solidified!”

“Oh? An expedition, you say?” Koffing said, inquisitive.

“Well, effort only gets you so far,” Zubat went on. “You won’t get picked for the expedition party if you don’t have talent, right? It all comes down to talent... pure talent!”

“Big talk!!” Rayne spat back, eyes aflame and hair bristling. “You sure talk a lot about talent, but what kind of skills do you have? You’re so weak, you even lost to us! And we’re easily twice as strong now as we were then!”

“Whoa-ho-ho! Well, we didn’t have the Chief with us,” Koffing explained.

“...Chief?”

“That’s right. Team Skull, our exploration team, has three members. Our Chief is incredibly talented.”

“To put it bluntly, he’s brutally tough,” Zubat chimed in. I noticed he did this quite a lot, with Koffing being the main talker. “Heh-heh. If the Chief were around, we’d snap you like a twig.”

“Whoa-ho-ho! Speaking of the Chief, I can smell him coming now!”

“Did you just say ‘smell’?” Rayne asked.

“Here’s the Chief!”



What happened after that I can only describe as utterly unpleasant. This rather large and somewhat-bloated Skuntank walked down the stairs, and stopped right in front of my face. He appeared to be glaring me down; I was looking back at him, but with a raised eyebrow, confused as to what he wanted or why he was here. I didn’t even get a chance to speak before he yelled “Move! Out of the way!” and burped in my face.

I staggered back, eyes shut, clenching my nose. It was awful. Rayne was trying to wave fresh air into my face, but I don’t think it was helping very much. I could hear everyone else in the room complaining of the smell too. Man, that guy not only reeks, he wafts. I could hear the sycophants cheering in the background.

“Chief!”

“You showed them, Chief! You’re the best!”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” the Skuntank answered, waving them off dismissively. His voice was pretty gruff, more so than I was expecting. By this point, I had managed to rise to my feet and get the brunt of the stench out of my nose. He kept talking. “So, you two, did you sniff out any jobs that’ll bring in the cash?”

“The Job Bulletin Board only posted cheap tasks,” the Zubat answered, “but...there’s something else, Chief. It’s got the potential to go big...” With that, Zubat started whispering. I couldn’t tell, because bats are extremely quiet and there’d be no way to really eavesdrop on whispering, even though before they were practically shouting.

“What? An expedition from this guild?” Skuntank remarked at length. “That does sound tasty. Let’s get out of here. We need to do some plotting. Come on. We’re going.” The three of them promptly proceeded to leave, with Koffing mumbling something about exhibitions that I didn’t quite catch. I have this feeling we’re going to see more of them.

“You okay, DNA?” Rayne asked after they left.

“Other than smelling like a week-old burrito, I think I’m fine. Yourself?”

“Yeah, I’m okay. I can’t believe the nerve of those guys! I’m going to teach them a thing or two when we see them again!”

“And how do you plan to do that?”

“Well, they’ll probably try to ambush us in some secluded location or another. Once that happens, we knock ‘em out and leave them there for the buzzards!”

“...You’re more devious than I give you credit for.”

“Why thank you! Now let’s get to work.”

I really like this idea. I really like it a lot. We continued to talk while on the way out.

“So, bro, where are we going today?”

“Well, I see three jobs here for Drenched Bluff, so why don’t we go there? It’s a nice place and the weather is temperate and cool. At least, I liked it. Did you?”

“It was a nice place, yeah! I could probably pay more attention now that I don’t have to scour the area for a pink pearl. Very well! Lead the way, O fearless and smelly leader!”

“...you just had to ruin it, didn’t you.”

I’ve probably said this before, but daily life here was starting to become like its own little ritual. Wake up, look at the bulletin board, take a few jobs, prepare for them, go out, reap rewards, go to sleep, rinse, and repeat. Sometimes a rare or unexpected moment might come up, but that was basically how the cycle went. To some, that might seem boring, and maybe it is, but for SOLO, we were pretty easy to please. I liked it for the points and ranks (what can I say? I’m a numbers guy), while Rayne liked it for the exploration and random factor. It’s almost like a match made in heaven. Having the two of us team up to do things we love is like a dream come true.

If this is a dream, I hope I don’t wake up. Though, I should probably wash the stink out of my clothes before proceeding any further.



After about 20 minutes of washing and air-drying my explorer outfit, and using an improvised clothesline to do so, I was finally ready to go out and tackle the day. The sun was in the sky, the birds were chirping, and the punching bags were scouting for potential customers like us.

...Wait a sec. Back up.

“Oh! A customer, sou nano?” I could hear the smaller one whisper to the larger one as we made our way down the steps. I felt clearly insulted; there was obviously two of us. They both walked on over, with the smaller one doing the talking.

“Good day, sou nano?” the smaller one continued.

“Speak English, you weeb,” I replied, slightly irritated. “Why are you two here?”

“Wyn—”

“NO. We are NOT going there.”

“Fine, be that way.”

I will kill that joke dead whenever it comes up.

“Though, seriously, what brings you two here?” I asked.

“The new shop, Spinda’s Café, is now open! This wonderful shop is overflowing with hopes and dreams, sou nano?”

“I think you really need to kick that ‘sou nano’ habit. So, where is this Spinda person?”

As if by magic, a Spinda staggered out into the open from a nearby staircase, the one where the rock had been, and now presumably led down to the café below. Said Spinda was staggering about sporadically, and wearing an apron. I would find a staggering Spinda normal, except this one was very clearly drunk, and looking in my general direction.

#dolo

“Uh...Can I help you?” I asked.

“No,” came the slurred reply, “but maybe I can help you.” The Spinda winked at me. I could swear I heard that voice from somewhere. It was a woman’s voice...wait, I think I know who it is. ...This is perfect. Time for a little fun at her expense.

“There is something wrong with Teddy,” I answered.

The reaction on the part of the Spinda was instantaneous and entirely expected. She stood up straight and sobered up immediately, and said only one word, very loudly: “NO.”

“Don’t worry, Teddy...” I went on, walking towards her.

“No. We are NOT doing this.”

“The doctor’s going to find out what is wrong...”

“Don’t you DARE quote that—”

And then I whispered in her ear.

“Count down from ten now, Teddy.”

There was a gasp as the Spinda covered her mouth in shock. I think she was blushing too, but I didn’t notice because I beckoned Rayne to follow me as we entered the café and looked about.

“What’s wrong, saucy bar wench?” I called back. “Aren’t you going to show us around?”

“On the condition that you NEVER quote that here again.”

“No promises, but I’ll try.”





I must say, it was a lot more spacious in this café than I was expecting. The entire place was basically outfitted with wood – flooring, tables, counters, walls, ceiling, you name it. It definitely looked like a high-quality job here; the wood was polished so smooth I could almost see my face in it. Some Pokémon were already here, seated around the tables, enjoying a drink or some such.

Yep, this was definitely a nice place.

“Hello, and welcome to Leah’s Café!” the Spinda proclaimed as soon as she caught up to us. “My name is Leah, and I am the owner of this café!”

“Leah!?” Rayne replied, eyes wide with wonder. “Like the girl from Star Wars?”

“Nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnot quite.”

“I think you’re a little off on the spelling there, sis,” I note. “So, what is this place exactly?”

“This is a café for explorers who enjoy finding new things every day and who are constantly challenging themselves.”

“A café for explorers!?” Rayne spurted out. “DNA! This place is perfect for us to be up to date on all of the latest explorer gossip! Clearly, this place has clout!”

“You have a good eye!” Leah’s face lit up. “On top of that, we have a drinks section we offer to our guests as well, so it’s natural to want to refresh yourself with a hearty, delicious drink after exploring... So we are delighted to provide this service to explorers, and we trust it will bring them happiness.”

“This would explain why you were drunk only a few moments ago,” I smarmily remarked.

“It’s not my fault I’m so good at making drinks!”

“Actually, I think it is. If you’re good, that means you just want more of it. And I think you might have been overdoing it a bit on the vanilla extract, no?”

“I wasn’t overdoing it a BIT, and I knew EXACTLY what I was doing, mister.”

“I’ll take that as a confession. Now, saucy bar wench, will you show us all that your wonderful café of hopes and dreams has to offer?”

“Of course! Anything for you.” She shot me a wink.

“Now the doctor can begin his operation, and Teddy will not—”

“ANYWAY, let me show you the Juice Bar first...”

At about this point, Rayne tugged my arm and whispered in my ear. “Why is she so crazy?”

“She’s someone I know from back in the human world. Sometimes she starts acting weird around me, and I find that quoting a certain video snaps her out of the habit very quickly. It drives her completely bonkers.”

“Should I be worried?”

“Nah, she laughs really easily and is just very excitable, that’s all.”

All of the above is completely true. Now to move on to the grand tour.

The counter on the left side of the café was, indeed, a juice bar. It seemed to be very clean and well-maintained, despite only having a work force of one. There were about five cocktail shakers lined up on the shelf behind it, never mind all of the other drink mixing implements. It even looked like they had certain things on tap. I must say, it looked nice.

“This is the Juice Bar,” our tour guide went on. “You’ve undoubtedly collected Gummis and apples during your explorations, am I right?”

“Guuuuuuummiiiiiiiiis...” Rayne said, in a zombie-like tone, her mouth open and drooling.

“Here, those edibles can become delicious drink sensations. I, Leah, will take your ingredient and use my incredible skills to create a delectable drink for you.”

“Really? So if we brought you an apple, you’d make some apple juice, is that what you’re saying?”

“That’s right! That is exactly right. That’s how it works.”

“Then we could drink like kings!!” Rayne then promptly hopped over to me, leaned in, and whispered into my ear “DNA...Apple juice is for rich people... We could drink the drinks that rich people drink!!”

“Are you sure you didn’t sneak any sugar while I wasn’t looking, Rayne?”

“Silly DNA, I don’t need sugar to get really excited!”

“Oh boy.”

“I can make the best apple juice you’ve ever tasted in your entire life!” Leah interjected.

Rayne then proceeded to stare at me right in the face. “DNA. Apple juice. NOW.”

“After we finish the tour.”

“Actually, I can fix some for you right now, um...”

“It’s Rayne. Nice to meet you!”

I very quietly hand the Spinda an apple, hoping to get this little debacle over with, though I know I’ll be hearing it for a long time yet. Our apple budget will basically be wasted on Rayne drinking them all here, when it would be much smarter to eat them on the road. Oh well. Maybe I can see what they have on tap. Let’s see, there’s Cheri Champagne, Chesto Cocktail, Pecha Pisco, Rawst Rum, Aspear Ale...wow, don’t they have anything non-alcoholic in nature? Oh, never mind, they have Oran Berry smoothies. We’re good.

I’m assuming they’re probably all somewhat non-alcoholic in nature anyway, but dolo.

By the time I’m finished perusing the drink selection, Leah has finished fixing Rayne some apple juice, and asks her to enjoy and sip it as we continue with the tour. It took a lot of restraint for her to not just chug it down in one go.

“This is the centerpiece of our place, the Recycle Shop,” Leah gestured to the right counter. The Wynaut and Wobbuffet from before were standing there waiting; presumably they had snuck back to their posts while I wasn’t looking. “I’ll bet you have a bunch of items in storage that you picked up in your travels and have little use for, am I right?”

“Yeah, like all those extra apples,” I answer.

“Hey!” Rayne chimed in, having finished her glass already. “I like apples!”

“Have you ever tried cider?”

“No, but now that you mention it, I would like some!” She tapped her empty glass on a nearby table. “Yo, saucy bar wench! One apple cider, and make it snappy!”

“You’ve got her doing it too?” Leah shot me a look as she collected Rayne’s glass.

“Yes, though this time it wasn’t my fault,” I answer, handing her an apple to fix the drink.

“I’ll let the Wynaut explain while I fix the cider.”

“Ahem...” the Wynaut cleared his throat as he picked up where Leah left off. “Sometimes I’m sure you have to throw out your extra items to make room in storage, sou nano?”

“Not yet,” I answer, “but I’ll get to that at some poi—could you please stop saying that?”

“Doesn’t that seem wasteful? There could be explorers in dungeons out there who are desperately in need of the very things you have locked in storage. That’s what we thought too, so we established the Recycle Shop. You can bring your extra items here and trade them for items you want. How does that sound? One Pokémon’s trash is another’s treasure, sou nano?”

“Yeah, I can Diglett.”



“I thought it would be fun for explorers to gather and trade items with one another,” Leah took over the explanation, handing Rayne a glass of cider, which I told her to take very slowly. “You’ll never have to throw out another item, or say ‘What a waste!’ That’s my goal.”

“This cider tastes fizzy...”

“So if you’ve got a collection of items you don’t need, please make use of our Recycle Shop. You can even get a bonus Prize Ticket when recycling items. It’s a lot of fun.”

“...why is there a funny aftertaste in my mouth?”

“...I know that was a whirlwind tour, but I hope you’ve got an idea of what kind of a place this is.”

“Sounds like a lot of fun,” I answer. “Thanks very much for the tour. We’ll be sure to stop in often when going to or from our excursions...um, Rayne? Why are you tugging on my ear?”

“Wooooooooow...your ear is sooooooooooo floppy...”

“Um, yeah...didn’t you notice before...”

“What if it were floppier? Could we make a pendulum out of it? Heeheehee...that’s a funny sounding word...pennnnnnnduluuuuuuuuuuuum...”

Rayne drunk. I think this is a first.

“You drunk the cider really fast, didn’t you?” No pun intended. I think.

“It was so delicious...and I was a rich people...apples are for rich people, DNA, did you know that? The more apples we have, the richer we’ll be...”

“...Let’s get you out into some fresh air,” I say, hoisting her over my shoulder in a fireman’s carry. “Your rambling seems to get even more incoherent by the second.”

“Hey, I just thought...instead of us going to the adventure, why doesn’t the adventure come to us? We could tell the adventure where we live...and then wait for it to visit the guild...and then it could ask ‘hey, is Team SOLO here?’ and then we’d say ‘We’re Team SOLO’, and then it’d say” at this point, her voice raised to a yell “I AM ADVENTURE” then back to a smooth mumble “and then...and then...it would be so cool...”

Maybe I should order cider for Rayne more often. Strangely, her drunk ramblings seem to make more sense than the sober ones. It wasn’t particularly strong cider, though, as by the time we had gotten to Drenched Bluff, Rayne had sobered up completely, and immediately asked me why she was being carried. I responded that she got drunk off a glass of apple cider she drank at the café.

“Accursed apples, my one weakness!” she exclaimed, shaking her fist as I set her down.

While it’s true that the sober ramblings don’t make very much sense at all, they are certainly more adorable and spontaneous than the drunk ones. I wonder if there’s some kind of happy medium, like if Rayne’s ramblings would be perfected with a mix of sensibility, spontaneity, and adorableness, if she were ever so slightly drunk.



The next day we were assigned to sentry duty, which was a lot less boring than I had anticipated it to be, mostly because Rayne kept trying to sneak off to the café for some apple juice, but then kept coming back again when she realized she couldn’t. This exchanged happened about once every half-hour or so, and it went something like this:

“DNA, can I go have some apple juice?”

“No, Rayne, we’re on sentry duty today, remember?”

“But I’m thirrrrrrrrrrrstyyyyyyyyyyyyy!”

“It’ll have to wait until we’re done with sentry duty today, okay Rayne? ... ...Rayne? Dangit, she bailed on me again!”

About five minutes later...

“DNA, I couldn’t get any apple juice...”

“Did you seriously just sneak away from here, and just for some juice!?”

“I told you I was thirsty! But worse still, I couldn’t get any because I forgot to bring an apple with me! They should really have stuff like that on tap.”

“They have other things on tap, you know.”

“Yeah, but none of them are apple juice! Hmph!”

And then she would pout for a while. Rayne must have a terrible short-term memory, because if this kept happening every thirty minutes without fail, you would think she’d get the hint. But I guess not. Oh well. At least she’s nice company when she didn’t sneak off.

Actually, wait. There was another reason that sentry duty was more boring than anticipated. It was because I couldn’t get Diglett’s stupid TV to work. I’ll have to ask him about it later.


Team SOLO So Far:

DNA lv. 11
Rayne lv. 11

Bronze Rank (205 / 300)
Bag Size: 24

>nee-chan
>NEE-CHAN

and after I decided not to cast you as Wynaut

Silence you weeb

/me glares disapprovingly

This isn't Dolo, this is Solo. Therefore, we do not cover this. "No money back"

Well, I never claimed this as a whole was dolo, but since dolo is an inspiration to us all, memories of it still exist. Come to think of it, Chapter 9 is the dolo chapter, isn't it?

As for asking for money back, who conned you into paying for this?

And this is why I post this publicly.

*writes idea down*

Before the next chapter goes up tomorrow, I'd just like to take a moment to pay homage to a true hero and world champion.



I for one welcome our new squirrel overlords

I do hate them, but at the same time I commend the guy's ingenuity.

If you want to know how the Pachirisu gave him the win:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KgFpPLL0JUs

I forgot what day of the week it was. I meant to put this up yesterday. At least I'm still on schedule for "twice a week".

~~~

[Back to Top]



“Whoa...My fingers are all fuzzy...”

“Go home, Rayne; you are drunk.”

“But I thought the guild was our home?”

“...whoops.”

This was a rather auspicious start to the day, and it wasn’t about to get less so any time soon. I’m guessing Rayne ended up slipping some cider into her canteen at one point (I sniffed it thoroughly later and found my suspicions confirmed). Life gets very strange when you have a little sister with a drinking problem, never mind her being irredeemably strange to begin with.

Then it just went from strange to downright unpleasant.

“Everyone, I have an announcement before we get down to work!” Chatot said at the start of his morning address. “Let me introduce our new allies.”

As expected, a few murmurs floated amongst the crowd.

“Allies? What, more new apprentices?”

“Golly, I wonder what kinds of Pokémon they are?”

“Is one of them named Clive?”



Then suddenly this very large stink cloud wafted down from the upper floor, and before long, it spread out through the entire room. Despite the ventilation, it lingered. And it was horrible. And everyone suffered. I needn’t tell you who’s responsible, because the perpetrator and his two cronies entered the room shortly thereafter, stopping next to Chatot and Finch.

“Dude, lay off the burritos,” I commented, squinting my eyes, holding my nose, and waving away the fumes in front of my face. There would be time to be angry later. I’d be angry now, but I honestly expected this.

When the smoke cleared, I managed to get a good look at the three of them up close. While the Zubat and Koffing looked no different from any others of their kind, the Skuntank stood out as being particularly unkempt. His fur was an overgrown mess, his teeth protruded from his mouth, and his breathing sounded like this strange hissing noise, like a broken vent.

“These three are our new partners,” Chatot explains, partially.

The three of them introduce themselves as Team Skull, and as before, neither Koffing nor Zubat really stood out; even their greetings were a simple laugh followed by a form of “Nice to meet you”. Skuntank was a bit more direct: “I’m Skuntank. Remember it. Especially you.” He was staring right at me. I responded, wordlessly, by pointing two of my fingers at my eyes, then one finger at him – the well-understood “I’m watching you” gesture.

Because I’d be damned if I let him get anywhere near us. Creep.

“These three aren’t joining us as apprentices,” Chatot went on. “They will be joining our expedition to lend us their assistance.”

“...well, that stinks,” Rayne hung her head. I couldn’t help but snicker at that.

“This is a surprise,” I comment. “How did this come about? I wouldn’t think teams outside the guild would be involved.”

“Chaw-haw-haw. Well, if you must know,” the Skuntank decided to answer me, “we talked with your Guildmaster Finch yesterday about it, and he agreed.”

“That true, Chatot?”

“Yes, the Guildmaster has made his decision. He has decided that having this trio take part will make us stronger on the expedition. However, it would be impossible to coordinate teamwork if we were to begin working together right away. Therefore, we’ve decided that the trio should live with us for several days. Though it will be only for a short while, I ask everyone to treat our guests with hospitality.”

The apprentices were murmuring amongst themselves, thinking the entire ordeal to be very unpleasant. These rather smelly fellows were going to be living in the guild, sharing the same air space with them...the same now-rather smelly air space, I might add. I wasn’t going to disagree with that, but I thought the best solution would be to grin and bear it. Thus, in the spirit of hospitality, I spoke up.

“In that case, let me welcome you to Finch’s Guild, Team Skull.” I then walked forward to Skuntank and extended a paw to him. “I hope we can all get along well.” Much to my surprise, he took my paw and shook it without complaint, with a bit of a laugh and a cordial “You too”.

I took the opportunity to whisper to him “Between you and me, I think you might want to take a shower. You know, for the sake of the other peeps here.”

“I’ll think about it,” he whispered back. I then return to my place.

“All right, everyone!” Chatot said with a goofy smile. “Let’s get down to work.”

While it was standard for the apprentices as a group to call out “Hooray!!” at the end, this time I was the only one to do so, even though I was faking excitement. No one else bothered to fake it, though, and all of the other hoorays sounded very dull and bored. I don’t blame them.

“What’s this? Where’s your usual spirit?” Chatot inquired. I can’t tell if he has high expectations, or if he’s just really stupid, or...

“You gotta be KIDDING!” Loudred spoke up, always one to speak his mind. “This STINKS! How do you expect us to be cheerful when...”

Then, much to all of our surprise, the ground starts to shake, rather violently, actually. An earthquake? Dangit, they never told us what the security protocol is for an earthquake! Rayne and I, though, both run towards the corridor and stand over its entrance, in the hopes that its arched ceiling will stand firm. Call it instinct from living in the southwest US.

Then I heard something incredibly disturbing.

“YOOM... YOOOOOOM...”

That was Finch. I glanced over and he was scrunched into a ball, visibly shaking as well – and not because of the earthquake. What on earth was he doing?

“No!” Chatot screamed, seemingly in denial and on the verge of losing it. “The Guildmaster... His rage is building! If the Guildmaster gets angry, it will be horrific! Everyone! Come on! Be cheerful, even if it hurts!”

Wait a minute – Finch causes earthquakes if people around him are disappointed? He has an odd superpower that is tied to his mood, or possibly the moods of those around him? And that not keeping him constantly happy and random as he is leads to disastrous consequences?

I swear I saw this happen once on an episode of the animated Justice League show. John Jones’ words “Because you are the source” kept echoing in my head. It was trippy. But I didn’t want that to happen here, so before Chatot could say anything – and he was definitely about to – I leapt forward in front of the crowd and cried out.

“All right, everyone! On the count of three, give us all your best cheer! One, two, three!”

Then all of us, at once, gave a loud, cheerful, and extremely forced “Hooray!!” This caused Finch to respond with a “Yay!” and the earthquake to stop immediately. Chatot heaves one of the biggest sighs of relief I’ve heard, and all fifteen of us (Chatot, Wigglytuff, Team Skull, and ten apprentices) scatter off to our usual posts.

Rayne and I decided to stay behind for a bit to get our things in order, as well as hear our mission from Chatot today. While Chatot said that we didn’t have to worry about anything beyond the usual today, he also thanked us profusely for our effort in calming the Guildmaster down, and would shudder to think what would happen if he weren’t. I remarked I could hear him thinking. He still doesn’t know how to use inner monologue, it seems. Rayne and I, on the other hand, had some strategizing to do, so strategize we did.

“So bro, is it just my hangover, or is everything just really weird this morning?”

“I bet I’m never going to hear those words from you ever again. But yes.”

“First this skunk dude comes in with Laurel and Hardy, and says they’re going to go on the expedition with us, then you tell them that they need a shower...”

“Wow. Good ear. I don’t think anyone noticed that. Well, Loudred might have...”

“...and then suddenly Finch causes earthquakes when he’s sad? This is weirder than me!”

“I agree. By the way, if you say ‘We have to fix that, I have to out-weird everyone today!’, then I reserve the right to slap you.”

“How’d you know?”

“Lucky guess. Anyway, is there someplace special you’d like to go today?”

“We never did get that third Chingling of the Chingling Gang, right?”

“Yeah, that’s right. ...Heheh, Chingling Gang. Almost sounds like chain link gang.”

“Then let’s go to Beach Cave and lock him up with all the others! I bet you’re just itching to finish what you started, aren’t you?”

“Yes, though I didn’t even remember it until you brought it up.”

“Then it’s settled! Beach Cave it is! Let’s see if we can find any other jobs there while we’re at it. Oh! And let’s stop at Leah’s Café before we leave! I’d like to try some of their drinks!”

“Non-alcoholic this time. I can only stand so much silly at once, and though you are probably somewhat cuter while drunk...”

“Hey!!”

“...I need you to be alert if we’re going to be taking down any baddies. Now let’s move.”



The guild was already rifting. The main floor of the guild was always such a busy and lively place, with conversation and camaraderie dispersed throughout, and rarely would anything really go on that could be seen as ‘off’. Today, however, was a notable exception – as I came up to grab some jobs, I noticed that Team Skull was on one side of the room, while a few of the apprentices were on the other side, and as far away as possible too.

This was going to be a rough few days.

I scouted the bulletin board for some of the Beach Cave jobs and left. Zubat teased me for choosing such low-paying jobs, and I just responded that I had some unfinished business in Beach Cave anyway, and might as well make good use of my time. As per Rayne’s request, we stopped by the café before heading out, though I also brought along some ingredients of my own to mix drinks for. For Rayne, I ordered some Nectar Tea, and for myself, I asked for an Orange Gummi Puree. Rayne was jealous that I was drinking Gummis and she wasn’t, but I told her that the minute I found a Red Gummi, I would get a drink just for her.

The drink-mixing chant “Shake it this way... shake it that way... and stir it all around... and it’s done!” was oddly hypnotic.

While in the café, I noticed another familiar face. I quietly excused myself, recommending to Rayne that she chat with some of the other customers, while I went to talk with...

“Lovely day, isn’t it, Officer?”

“Ah, hello there. Yes, I suppose it is, isn’t it. Is that one of the drinks here you have?”

“This? Yeah, it’s a Gummi Puree. Tastes a lot better than I thought it would, honestly. You come here often, sir?”

“Generally, yes, to keep up on the trends and teams and such. Occasionally I enlist the help of an exploration team to track down an outlaw or two for me.”

“Yeah, though outlaws are a pretty strong bunch. Most of them I can’t really take on, though I am about to round up the last of the Chingling Gang today. I plan to finish what I started.”

“Ah, is that so? Then I wish you the very best of luck!”

“Thanks for that, J.”

“...Beg pardon, but what did you call me?”

“J. That’s your name, isn’t it, Officer Roswell?”

A brief pause. Only about two seconds or so. His eyes darted about a bit.

[How the hell did you even figure that out?]

“Oh please. How many shiny fedora-wearing Magnezi are even in existence? Not many, I bet.”

[Did you just say ‘Magnezi’?]

“Yeah, the plural of Magnezone. Besides, I’m sure you looked up Team SOLO in your records as well, just as a cursory background check. I’m sure once you saw the name ‘DNA’ pop up, a few warning flags went off for you.”

[I honestly don’t get it. We aren’t even actively trying to meet up with each other. I left Boss for a while so I could travel the world to establish justice, and that’s how I found a job here as a police officer. But all of a sudden, whoop-de-doo, you show up. I’m firmly convinced that you were placed here just to make me suffer.]

“Far from it, my friend. Though I do love messing with you now and again, I have a new, more pressing matter on my hands. And you are a close friend, Jupiter. I wish to share this with you.”

[...Go on...]

“I’m sure by now you are aware of my...true form. I’m a disembodied spirit, who travels between dimensions in need of my aid, but my body and mind are rooted elsewhere.”

[How can I forget? You were the one responsible for creating me. You’re like a roommate I can’t get rid of, and sometimes you feel the same of me. You even tried to lock me up!]

“I was asked to come here by a psychoanalyst aurora...or at least, I think it was. I may have been high at the time. Either way, I was confused as to its motives at first, why it would ever want me for anything. But then, through a combination of revelation and blackmail, it brought me here, and only then did I understand why.”

[Someone blackmail you? I wish I could have been there. Anyway, what was so important?]

“Do you see that Vulpix over there? The one with the explorer outfit and the beekeeper hat?”

[Yeah, I do. Rayne, right? The one chatting to the regulars and acting out her stories?]

“That’s correct. See, that’s my sister, who also got pulled here from another world. We’re using the bodies of Pokémon to be more familiar with the area here, but at the same time, it gives her an opportunity to go on adventures that we back at home would never be able to do.”

[And I assume that your motive is to protect and take care of her?]

“Yes, in the way a true Hero would.”

[Hey, watch it. I’m the Hero here, not you.]

“But I take a lot from you. I have much I learn from you. And though I am not you...though I might not even be a Hero...I have someone I want to protect more than anyone else in the world.”

[Is that now why you fight, DNA? Do you now have a true family of your own to fight for?]

“Hey, it’s not like you guys aren’t my family too, you know. And you know how I’ll come running at the drop of a hat. You remember that Halo incident, don’t you? I haven’t forgotten you guys, not even for a moment.”

[I suppose so, though we could have easily taken Halo down. But...thanks for that. It helped.]

“Anytime, my friend. ...It looks like we’ve finished our drinks, so we should probably get going before the day drags on. Take care, Jupiter, and keep that fedora as snazzy as ever.”





The operation was a success. The third member of the Chingling Gang was finally behind bars, Rayne asked me about my ‘sleek new UFO friend’, and everything went quite swimmingly, all things considered. Chatot was rather impressed, but I knew I had to keep it up; if the selection process for the expedition was as rigorous as Chatot made it out to be, we would have to take on a lot of jobs to prove our clout.

We were rather close to getting Silver Rank at this point (our team had 240 points out of the necessary 300), so I made it a personal goal to reach Silver Rank before the party was chosen. Rayne agreed to this plan, saying that we should have a fancier-looking badge than a glass-green color. I almost retorted by saying it was supposed to be bronze, but to her credit, the color was similar to a translucent green glass bottle, as one might see Perrier in.

This was almost enough to make me thirsty, but Perrier is a bit too fizzy for my tastes, excellent though it may be.

Rayne was out like a candle tonight, going to sleep right away. She was really excited for the expedition, enough to the point where getting picked for it became her sole focus. I jotted down the highlights of today down in our logbook and quickly hit the hay myself. It was honestly a good goal to have; I know how very much Rayne wanted the chance to go on an adventure of this magnitude, and who am I to let her down? She was probably so bubbly and excited, she might even wake up before Loudred showed up...

Wait a sec. That gave me an idea.

About thirty seconds after Rayne had gone to sleep (which is when I got the idea), I shook her awake, quickly, and told her that I had a wonderful idea for a prank. To pique her interest, I said that it wasn’t a prank I was going to pull on her, and that I needed her help to make it perfect.

“Well, mister, you can count me in for a good prank on someone that isn’t me! What’s the plan?”

After about a minute or so of whispering and accompanying giggles, we both went to sleep with plot hatched and ready to mature. It would do so the following morning. What was it, you ask? Just keep reading; you’ll see it.



I was the first of us to wake up on the following morning, and of my own provocation as usual. Sunrise was only now starting to begin, and the large yellow orb’s rays were starting to creep in through the window. Perfect; there was still time. I gently shook Rayne awake, whispering “Wake up; it’s time for the prank”, which made her instantly alert. Her mischief sense was in full swing, and was wide awake because of it.

Our room was round, as you are aware, and we positioned ourselves on the walls touching the corridor leading out, being on opposite sides, hugging the wall as best we could so as to remain totally unseen by someone approaching from the corridor outside. Everything was in position.



As he usually did every morning, Loudred ran down the corridor, yelling out the words “UP AND AT ‘EM! IT’S MORNING!” to wake all the apprentices up for the morning address. He’d been doing it less often with us, since we (or at least I) were awake slightly before Loudred made it to our room, so we wouldn’t have to suffer through a rude awakening, as it were.

Our room was visible from the corridor, so Loudred could see the room at a glance. The only time he didn’t yell toward us was when he saw movement in the room already, indicating we’d already woken up. He saw no movement this morning, so he ran and yelled his usual reverie. Then he was confused. The room was empty. The beds were slightly messy, and the satchel and canteens were just lying around, not tidied at all. It was as if we’d just woken up, except there were no Pokémon around.

As could be imagined, Loudred wasn’t sure what to do. “Hello?” he asked, walking forward slowly. “Anyone there?” He looked about the room, even noticing the extremely creepy poster of Finch whose eyes followed him around, but he saw no one. It’s not that we weren’t there – it’s that Loudred forgot to look behind him.

And we were now going to punish that mistake. By tackling him. To the ground.

At first Loudred was shocked and incredibly surprised, yelling quite loudly after our little jump-scare made him realize he’d been had, but after that he just started laughing like crazy, too happy to be angry.

It was glorious.



Our errand for the day was less so.

“Ah, you two. Your task today is to obtain stock to replenish the larder.”

“Yay! You actually call it a larder and not a pantry!” I yell excitedly, thrusting my hands into the air. “Er, ahem... What exactly needs restocking?”

“For some mysterious reason, the guild’s food stock has dropped sharply all of a sudden. Furthermore, our entire stock of Perfect Apples has disappeared. That was the only item to get completely cleaned out.”

“Perfect Apples!?” Rayne screamed, leaping forward. I actually had to grab her mid-jump so she wouldn’t knock Chatot over. “Do WANT!!!” It was like holding a small dog who was constantly wriggling to escape.

Oh, wait.

“They’re very big and very delicious apples,” Chatot explained. “But more than that, they are the Guildmaster’s favorite food!”

“I’ll bet he decided to raid the larder last night for all the apples,” I reply. “Wouldn’t put it past him.”

“The fact remains that we must have Perfect Apples! If there were no Perfect Apples, the Guildmaster would, um... The Guildmaster w-w-would...” Then he choked a bit when trying to force his next words out, as if recollecting it caused him great pain.

“Go on... If there were no Perfect Apples, Finch would do what?”

“The G-Guildmaster would......” Chatot began to visibly shake at this point, as he mumbled something very quietly and through a chattering beak. “...Yes, that’s what would happen. That’s why I’m begging you two to go get some Perfect Apples.”

“...um.” I’m honestly not sure how to respond to him. Is the Guildmaster’s rage nearly as terrifying as yesterday’s brush almost made it out to be? Was Chatot living in constant fear of retribution of Finch’s anger? Was Chatot like a personal punishment dummy for Finch, or did he merely see himself that way? Whatever the case, I’d be very terrified to see the outcome, either in actuality or what Chatot made it out to be.



Nevertheless, so as to not make him suffer any more mental anguish – I think I said at one point that he’s already seen so many rookies come and go I might as well not make his job any harder – I offer to take on his request. He tells me that Perfect Apples can be found in a place called Apple Woods, and tells me that while this might seem simple, the job is utterly crucial because of the Guildmaster’s *insert choking noise*.

I’d go right on ahead into the Apple Woods segment, but I think I need to put a chapter break right here, for the sake of brevity.


Team SOLO So Far:

DNA lv. 11
Rayne lv. 11

Bronze Rank (240 / 300)
Bag Size: 24

For me right now, the worst dungeon I've been to so far is, ironically, one of the dungeons I just went to while playing the game last night - Northern Desert. Quicksand Cave was relatively easy by comparison because the maps were smaller and the Pokemon were much scarcer. Also there's no Sandshrew or Cacturne. Freaking Sand Veil. >_<

...I'm not sure what in the chapter suggested that I have feelings, but I thank you for the compliment all the same.

Noooo, the paaaaiiiin...

Hey guys, I start school tomorrow for the autumn semester! Hopefully I'll have enough time to write more chapters of SOLO on a fairly regular basis, though if push comes to shove I may have to lower it to one chapter per week.

But I have a fairly easy load this semester, so I shouldn't be too strapped for time.

~~~

[Back to Top]



I’d like for you to imagine something with me for a moment. This won’t take long, I promise you.

First, imagine a very large forest, full of lush green trees, whose branches reach up into the skies, and whose leaves are all loosely knit together as a canopy. The trees are, for the most part, organized in orderly rows, almost like a grid, but at the same time they organize themselves much like a maze. From a bird’s-eye view, it looks like a giant green mass of leaves interspersed with red spots. Each of those red spots are apples, and countless numbers of them hang from the branches of these trees. Some of the trees are small, some are tall, and most are a little in-between.

Now that you have all that in your mind, remember it. Let’s call it Location A, for now.

Next, imagine an individual – a person, much like you or I. Imagine this person has a rather strong obsession with apples – not that she likes the taste of apples, or that apples are a favorite food of hers, though both of those things are true. Imagine that her obsession stems from associating apples, and the ownership thereof, with the wealthy and famous. The result of this obsession causes her to want to spend money on apples at any given opportunity, and to amass as many as we can so that we will be well-off, at least as far as food is concerned. For her, apples are probably one of the greatest things ever, if not the greatest.

You can imagine all this, yes? Let’s call her Person B.

Finally, imagine Person B visiting Location A.

This is what I have to deal with right now. Pity me.

Rayne was trying to climb every tree she saw, just to grab some of the apples. Unfortunately for her, all of the trees near the entrance had very high-reaching branches. On top of that, she couldn’t get a solid grip for very long, and ended up sliding down after about a few seconds of climbing each one. No idea what that’s doing to her nails, but it can’t be good.

“Why must you taunt me!?” Rayne yelled to the trees, tears starting to well up. “All I want is to take some of your delicious fruit and ingest it for personal and hunger satisfaction!”

“How refreshingly frank of you,” I reply. “However, is it not possible that we will find apples lying about the ground as we go deeper in? There is this thing called ‘gravity’...”

“So that’s why I have never fallen up!”

“...Please tell me you’re joking.”

“Well, have you ever fallen up?”

“That wasn’t what I was... Anyway, Chatot remarked it’s imperative we get Perfect Apples here, so let’s be quick, and pick up what apples we can on the way there. We can come back here later at our leisure, but for now we have work to do.”

I must admit, it was a really nice place. This would totally be a good place for a picnic one day. Even the other Pokémon here, though outwardly hostile, were mostly friendly, and kept to themselves. That was fine by me; I wasn’t about to go out of my way to roll heads, even if I did have a rather strange run-in with an Exeggutor. Rayne did try to climb a few more of the trees, I will admit, but she was much more satisfied when she managed to pick a few stray apples off of the ground and take them along with us. She kept nagging me that we should have a picnic when we got to a good place, such as a clearing, and I told her I’d consider it. On subsequent requests, I merely told her I hadn’t forgotten.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m being chased down by a few Combee and need to wave them off.



None of them were interested in Rayne’s book, sadly. Maybe some other time.

The forest was a lot larger than I thought it would be; on the outside it just appeared to be of a decent size, but the more I journeyed, the more it sprawled, and the easier it was to lose my way. I could see the leaves getting progressively darker shades of green, and that told me I was getting close to the deepest part of the woods.

Because, obviously, fetch quests have you go into the most far-away secluded places. There’s no tree right outside that just has Perfect Apples hanging from its branches, right? Right?

Dangit, now I’ll have to go check as we leave.

“Looks like we’re in a clearing,” Rayne noted, as we entered a rather spacious and oddly bright clearing. It was like the trees parted all at this point to let a lot of light shine in. “Can we take our picnic now? I’m hungry!”

I look up in the sky before I respond. The sun is indeed on its downward course, and it looks like it’s only about halfway up the sky. Our trek through Apple Woods had taken longer than I’d realized; the position of the sun told me that it was roughly 3pm.

“Yeah, we can. I didn’t realize how late it was! I thought my stomach was growling just because there were apples everywhere, but it really is late! Okay, let’s sit down and eat.”

“Did you bring the basket? And the blanket? And the serviettes? And the ant spray?”

“I believe you’re over-thinking this a tiny bit.”

“Well, whatever! Let’s just have a snack or something before I keel over!”

I had found a particularly large apple on the trek through the forest, and while it wasn’t quite ‘perfect’, I could definitely call it ‘big’. I took out a knife from within my bag (Rayne asked me where I got it, and my cryptic response was the Boy Scout motto) and used it to both bisect and core the apple, planting a few of the pips in the ground so as to have new trees sprout up to join the others.

It tasted absolutely amazing. The name ‘Apple Woods’ only told us what it was, to say absolutely nothing of the quality of the fruit it grew therein. The taste was so full and rich it was almost enough to put Chimecho’s cooking to shame – no offense to her at all, I love her meals.



“Om tho full...” Rayne mumbled, lying on her back after she finished eating.

“Don’t talk with your mouth full. Besides, the apple wasn’t that big.”

“Tho tathty... Don’t wanna move...”

“Whatever you say, fatty.” I rise to my feet and keep walking to explore the clearing.

“Hey!” She ran up and jumped on my shoulders. “Don’t call me fatty!”

“You sure seem to be up and about very quickly.”

Two-second pause. Then Rayne fell back on the ground. “Thtomach bloating...Can’t go on...”

“You are incorrigible.”

“Ooh! A new fancy word! I must use it more often! Incorrigible! In-corr-i-JEE-blay!”

“Hey look, I think we found the Perfect Apples.”

Up ahead, I noticed a short but sprawling apple tree in the midst of the clearing. The trunk was thicker and more gnarled, the branches spread further outward than they did upward, and most of the branches were low-hanging, with several apples full of color on each one.

While none of that really suggested much of anything, there was a wooden sign in front of the tree that read “Perfect Apple Tree” in bright blue and capital letters. That’s how I knew that this had to be a Perfect Apple Tree, and not some cheap knockoff apple tree.

Don’t tell Rayne I called other apple trees ‘knockoffs’. She’ll get mad that she’s settling for second-best.

“There really are Perfect Apples!? You mean they’re not a myth?”

“Rayne, why would it be a myth? Chatot clearly asked us to go get some for him. So of course they would exist. He wouldn’t be mean enough to send us on a fetch quest with no hope of our success. Plus, he was clearly panicky. He wouldn’t be that panicky over something made up.”

“Well, I should hope so. But to imagine! All of this time we’ve been eating apples and big apples and cider and stuff, and there have been the most perfect of all apples right here! Do you know what this means, DNA? All of this time, we’ve been settling for second-best!”

Too late.



And then Team Skull jumped out of the tree.

Wait, what. Seriously?

“Chaw-haw-haw! Team Skull at your service!” Skuntank proclaimed as they made their slightly-less-than-dynamic entry.

“We’ve been having us a picnic of Perfect Apples while waiting for you to show,” Koffing chimed in. “What took you so long?”

“Oh, sure,” I sigh. “Rub it in while we had our picnic with not-quite-Perfect Apples. Hey, at least they filled us up. Wait, how long have you been here?”

“Long enough! You took so long, I stuffed myself!” Then he let out a loud belch. My brain mentally graded it as a 7 out of 10, but I wasn’t going to let him know that.

“Is that the reason why the only Perfect Apples left are on the high branches? Not satisfied with raiding the guild’s larder, you had to come here to the source as well?”

“Wait, DNA, are you saying that they raided the larder?” Rayne asked. “For shame! I wanted to do that!”

“Rayne, you’re not helping. But odds are they did. One does not simply walk into Apple Woods for no reason. You could get apples any old where, but Perfect Apples are specifically being targeted.”

“What can I say?” Skuntank asked, rhetorically. “Perfect Apples taste pretty good.”

“While I’m not denying that, I have to bring some back to the guild. Unfortunately, the only ones left are on the highest branches, which presents a problem.”

“Chaw-haw-haw. You were wondering how you could get the Perfect Apples? Nothing could be easier. Watch.”

Skuntank then sauntered over to the base of the tree. It wasn’t exactly a rapid walk; he was just moseying about, taking his sweet time. I’m not sure if it was because he was full from the Perfect Apples or if he was just lazy, but he wasn’t going very fast. Then, he rammed into the trunk a few times, quite forcefully, I might add. This caused about five of the apples to fall from their branches and roll on to the ground, unscathed due to landing on a cushion of grass.

I think Rayne is going to start using the word ‘sauntered’ more often when she reads this.

“See? What’d I tell you?” Skuntank asked, rhetorically again. “Go on, now. Scoop up those Perfect Apples and scuttle back to the guild. Chaw-haw-haw.”

“Perfect Apples!” Rayne exclaimed with an expression of utter joy. “Finders keepers!”

“Don’t do it, Rayne,” I told her. “It’s a trick.”

“What? Why? They just helped us by getting some of the Perfect Apples for us!”

“Team Skull is too self-serving. They wouldn’t do this without a good reason. They either plan to take them for themselves anyway, attack us while we’re about to go pick them up, or both.”

Cue the awkward silence. I was counting it off mentally. It lasted precisely 3.627 seconds. I know this because more decimal places mean a greater degree of accuracy, which means I must be right.

(*Disclaimer: Having more decimal places in a measurement actually gives it a greater degree of precision, not accuracy. All measurements have a degree of uncertainty equal to ± 0.5 * the value of the next unused decimal place. While adding more decimal places and making up the numbers as you go is very cool-sounding in a storybook setting, it is not a good way to get high marks in your math, science, or architecture classes. Thus, don’t ever do this in a real-life setting.

That means you, Rayne.

But I know you came here for a story instead of a boring math lesson from me, so I’ll shut up now and let you get right back to it.)

“Color me surprised!” the Zubat exclaimed after the 3.627 seconds of thick noiselessness. “They didn’t fall for it at all!”

“Aww,” Koffing said, in a voice of mock concern. “How boring is that.”

“It’s a little disappointing you didn’t fall for our act,” Skuntank said, a smirk of mixed glee and irritation on his face, “but so what? What are you going to do about it?”

“I’ll tell you what we’re going to do!” Rayne proclaimed, in the loudest and most efficacious-sounding voice she could muster. “We’re going to beat you up and leave your bodies out here for the wild animals, and no one will ever find you.” Those last few words were spoken almost as a hiss. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think Rayne was actually threatening.

...You’re not helping your case, DNA.

“Well now, aren’t we feeling peppy today!” Skuntank retorted, almost amused at Rayne’s death threat. “But do you and your friend there have what it takes?”

“Maybe! And even if we don’t, we’ll just pretend that we do!”

“So be it. In recognition of your courage... We’ll be honored to take you on fair and square. Chaw-haw-haw!”

His laugh was starting to get on my nerves, but even I was wary at this point. Team Skull struck me as the type to use hit-and-run tactics almost exclusively, so why this great willingness to actually take our challenge head-on? ...unless it was a ploy to lead into a hit-and-run tactic!

“Let’s see if you can withstand this attack,” Skuntank taunted, as the five of us got into position. Team Skull was clustered together as a group, while Rayne was standing a few feet back from me. They were trying something. “Koffing and I will use our...noxious gas combo!”

And then it happened. Not the noxious gas combo, but something else. In fact, the whole scene was probably no more than five seconds long in all, and it went by so fast that not even I am totally clear on the details.

The moment that Skuntank mentioned a noxious gas combo attack, my nerves began to take over, and I was acting solely off of adrenaline. I started it all off with a yell of “Puppy instinct!!”



Immediately after my yell, I turned to Rayne, who was at my side, and solidly pushed her away, causing her to tumble head over tail, flipping over twice in all, so she was easily five feet away from me. Right after that, all my senses were assailed by the gas. My nostrils were filled with their horrible stench that made even marijuana fumes tame in comparison, and it stung. Oh my word, did it sting. My eyes were fast shut and rapidly tearing, my skin was crawling, and my ears couldn’t establish a sense of balance, so my body was reeling. I know for a fact I fell over.

I don’t know what I was doing after that, but I believe I was rolling about on the ground for the next two seconds, trying to rebalance my ears and stand up on my feet again. It was no use, though, as my senses were so confounded I forgot where the ground was.

Then the shaking. Something grabbed my shirt and started shaking me violently. This was actually the best part, because as I found out, it was Rayne fanning the fumes away and trying to slap me back into reality.

“DNA! DNA!” I heard her scream. “Are you okay!?”

“November!” I replied, pointing my arm upward. I’d say skyward instead, but I think I was still lying on the ground.

“Don’t worry, you’ll be fine!” Her remedy consisted of picking me up back on my feet, then slapping my face back and forth until I had regained my senses. It was surprisingly effective, not because the slapping in and of itself was working, but because my brain didn’t want to put up with repeated slapping.

My vision was slowly being restored, starting as a blur before gradually moving back to full clarity. Rayne was right in front of my face slapping my cheeks, with an odd angry expression.

“You can stop now, Rayne, I can see you.”

“Prove it!”

I poked her nose. That was proof enough. She stopped instantly. Looking around, everything was mostly the same, except Skuntank, Koffing, and the knocked-down Perfect Apples were all gone. By the looks of it, those were the only mature Perfect Apples even left on the tree. Zubat was lying on the ground near the tree roots, though, and he got up not long after I did. Hurriedly looking about, he screamed “They left without me!” and skedaddled himself. I snickered a bit at his comrades’ willingness to leave him behind, but I couldn’t bring myself to mock him.

“Dammit!” I yelled. “The mission was a failure and it’s all thanks to Fatty and Fattier! I swear, the more I run into them, the more killing them and leaving their bodies for the buzzards seems appealing...”

“You think Chatot might accept other kinds of apples, DNA?”

“I certainly hope so. I know Chatot makes Finch to be this big moody bad guy, but I know Finch a bit too well for that. It’s Chatot I’m worried about, honestly. Argh, I can’t wait to drop that Skuntank. Hard. Preferably off a cliff.”

“There’s a cliff right outside the guild; we could try that!”

“If only I could even lure him out like that. We don’t even know where they go during the day. Knowing them, they hid all of the Perfect Apples somewhere, and they’re going to eat them all later. My frustration is building.”

“So...um...bro...what are we going to do?”

“What do you mean?”

“Chatot asked us to do something. We didn’t follow through. If we don’t find some kind of alternative, we’re going to be punished...”

“Oh, crap, that’s right. ...If he asks, it was my fault. We’ll say that we left too late in the day, and by then, all the apples were picked off by the creatures in the forest or something.”

“Why can’t we just tell him Team Skull stole and ate all the apples?”

“Because Chatot is a bumbling idiot. You didn’t notice? He makes even you look smart.”

“Hey!”

“Okay, that was uncalled for. You’re pretty smart and that was in poor taste. Forgive me?”

“I forgive you. But why do you want to be the one to take all the punishment for this? We could just share it and it won’t be as hard!”

“I have my reasons, Rayne. Now let’s go home.”

I couldn’t tell her what the true reason was for wanting to take all the punishment for failure myself, and leave Rayne out of it. Were I to do that, it would probably break her heart. I can’t even write it down here, for fear she’ll read it, so there was nothing left to do but face the music.

Ha. Music. Chatot. ...Okay, I’ll stop.



“And unfortunately, due to all the Perfect Apples having been picked before I got there, I was unable to bring any Perfect Apples back. I’m sorry.”

“Whaaaat? You failed?! Are you serious?” Chatot was right freaking out, even more so than his usual freak-out bouts. “Oh no! What am I going to do?! Seriously! What am I to do?!”

“I could try again first thing tomorrow, if you so wish it.”

“Why didn’t Rayne go with you? You two are supposed to do work as a team!”

“I said that fetching apples would be easy enough that I could go do it myself, so I said that Rayne could stay in the café all day if she wanted, so she did.”

“Can you prove that?”

“You can ask any of the regulars there. Heck, even Officer Magnezone was there. He can corroborate my story.”

Yes, I made a stop at Leah’s Café before going back to the guild. Yes, I did so to make a perfect cover story. Yes, I owe Jupiter big time for this.

“You leave me no choice,” Chatot went on, breathing deeply and fuming. “For the time being, you’ll go without dinner tonight! This goes for both of you!”

“What!?” Rayne exclaimed, clearly displeased. “But it was all DNA’s fault he screwed up! Why am I being punished for his stupidity?”

Sibling love at its finest.

“You two are supposed to be a team! You know you’re not supposed to shirk work like that! Do our chants every morning go completely over your head?”

“Well, sometimes I fall asleep because the Guildmaster comes out sleepwalking, and I figure he’s setting a good example for us all, so...”

“Notwithstanding, you failed to complete an important job. Your punishment could be much more severe!”

No kidding; we basically had a Big Apple picnic only a few hours before. Then again, knowing Rayne, she eats quite a bit. I can go for longer periods of time without eating and not get hungry, but Rayne’s younger than I am, so that might not be the case for her...

“You’ve saddled me with this terrible task!” Chatot said, shivering. “I’ve got to report this to—”

“Wait, Chatot,” I interjected. “If anyone is to break this news to the Guildmaster, let me be the one to do so. The failure is mine and mine alone, and I will take full responsibility for it. It’s not Rayne’s fault whatsoever. Let her eat dinner tonight. I will forgo it.”

“...Very well,” he sighed. “I will report this to the Guildmaster after dinner. You will come with me when I do so. If I had to face the Guildmaster’s wrath all by myself, well, that would hardly be fair. Therefore, you will come with me! That’s an order!”

I managed to convince Chatot to let Rayne enjoy more of Chimecho’s cooking tonight. Everyone else rushed into the mess hall as usual, while I stayed outside, leaning against the wall, hanging my head and hugging my knees. I wasn’t all that hungry because of the big apple I’d downed earlier, and that wasn’t what made me so sad.

It’s that I was lonely.

I could have just gone into the mess hall and just taken my seat without food, but then I’d have to watch everyone else eat, and that would be a horrible torture. Thus, I opted to stay outside the mess hall, sitting in the apprentice’s lobby. I could still hear the sound of eating, but it wasn’t as horrible as I was expecting that anyway – actually seeing the food would have been far worse.

I decided to lean by the window next to the door to the Guildmaster’s chamber, to save time, since I’d have to come over here anyway. A lot of the other apprentices glanced my way, wondering what could have happened to make me go without dinner tonight. I think some of them might have overheard my conversation with Chatot earlier. I’m fairly positive Croagunk was one of them, but I don’t know if he cared all that much, given that cauldron he was constantly preoccupied with.

When I am bored, I drink water if I have it on hand. Taking a sip or so is the only thing that keeps me engaged because I’m at least doing something. And when I have to keep myself occupied for the entirety of a meal, I will take a lot of sips. Even with my attempting to distract myself and ration my sips, my canteen was empty within five minutes – and I had filled it up completely when I got back to Treasure Town. I felt bloated. Drinking a lot of water all at once does that to me.

Ten minutes after I had downed all the water in my canteen, all the other apprentices came out of the mess hall, having washed up, cleared out, and given several notes of ‘my compliments to the chef’. Finch waddled past me and waved hello, a goofy smile still on his face as usual. He was curious as to why I looked so dejected, and I told him I’d be fine. I had to tell him this three times before he bought it and went back to his room. It was a bold-faced lie, of course – I didn’t know if I’d be fine, but I would certainly try to be.

Rayne and Chatot were the last to leave the mess hall, and to my surprise, they both walked in my general direction. I was expecting Rayne to wait in our room or something, but she came right up to me.

“I talked with Chatot over dinner and I managed to allow myself to come with you for moral support,” she explained. “Even if it’s your punishment I don’t want you to face it alone.”

“...Thanks, sis,” I manage to say, standing up to my feet, but my heart really wasn’t in to the words I was saying. “I really hope it all works out...”



There I was, standing in the middle of the Guildmaster’s chamber. I don’t know why, but I was terribly nervous. My legs felt like jelly as they wouldn’t stop shaking, though Rayne nudged me a few times and reassuringly told me that it’d be fine. My brain believed her; my legs didn’t. Chatot stood to the side, as he usually did, perched on the arm of the Guildmaster’s chair, which was facing outside. And, as expected, the chair swiveled around instantly for Finch to greet us.



“Hiya!” he began with a smile and a wave. “You brought me some Perfect Apples, didn’t you? Thank you!”

“I was the one Chatot sent, yes,” I replied, bowing, “but...there was a slight snag.”

“Huh? What’s wrong? Is it because you didn’t have dinner?”

“No, sir. It’s because, when I went to Apple Woods, I wasn’t able to bring back any Perfect Apples. By the time I got to the tree, they were all gone.”

“It’s OK. I understand.”

“I will accept whatever punishment you deem appropri—wait, you do?” At this point, my head was no longer bowing, and I was looking Finch straight in the eye.

“It’s all right! Nobody wins all the time. Don’t feel blue, don’t feel blue.” He did a brief dance, wiggling his chubby feet and spinning around in his chair.

“I suppose that makes me feel a bit better, though I still would like to get you some tomorrow.”

“Where are the other Perfect Apples?”

“...What other Perfect Apples?”

“The ones we like to keep around?”

“Um, sir...didn’t Chatot tell you why he sent me?”

“Yes, of course! It was to get me some Perfect Apples!”

“That’s true, but it’s also because there aren’t any Perfect Apples left in the larder. So, until someone else can go fetch some Perfect Apples, there are absolutely zero in the guild right now.”

“...Oh.”

“That means, Guildmaster...” Chatot took over the explaining, “you will have to make do without Perfect Apples for a little bit. Yep, that’s what it means!”

And then Chatot started laughing. Not the kind of laughing you’d expect to see from someone who just laughed at a funny joke, but a sick, twisted kind of laughing you would hear from someone who was absolutely desperate, and whose strong sense of denial manifested itself as this very strange cackle that was trying to wipe away reality – I like to imagine it as a laughter akin to Luke Atmey. That kind of laughing. Chatot was trying to deceive himself into thinking this was all one funny dream. But it wasn’t.

...Well, it might have been, but we weren’t waking up from it. And when Chatot’s laughter finally died down, there was another silence, less awkward than the other one, but more dark and sinister, as if something horrible was on the verge of happening.

“Um, Guildmaster?” Chatot asked. “Guildmaster?”

Finch began to snivel. His eyes were beginning to tear up, and he was visibly shaking, curling himself up into a ball, as if to hide himself from the reality that all the Perfect Apples were gone.

“N-No!!” Chatot yelled. I didn’t get a chance to ask him why he just yelled that, because at that moment, the ground began to shake. It started off as just a small rumble, but it became more and more violent as time passed. I was finding it very hard to stay standing, and I could only imagine what everyone else might have thought of this sudden earthquake. I noticed that the more Finch was sniveling, the stronger the quaking got.

Does that mean that Chatot’s fears were actually legitimate? Seems that way!



“What the heck!?” I yelled. “What’s going on!?”

“Waa...” Finch uttered. “Waaaaaaaaahhh...”

“Cover your ears!” Chatot called to us, doing so himself. “Don’t argue! Do it now!”

I wasn’t in the mood to argue, and I don’t think Rayne was either, because at that point we were both kneeling on the ground and covering our ears as tight as we could. Shortly thereafter, I understood why. The air was soon filled, not only with the quaking, but with an ear-piercing screech. It was the most horrendous sound I’d heard in my life, and if there were any glass around here, it would probably shatter to bits from it. If this happens every time Finch comes close to tears, I can see why Chatot wants to keep him satiated! It didn’t get any better; I actually saw the very air explode in tiny pockets. Yes, the air was exploding. There was no way we were getting out of this unscathed; even with me blocking out noise, my ears were ringing.

And then, just as suddenly as it started, it stopped, disappearing completely.

“Sorry to disturb you! We’ve come to deliver a Perfect Apple!”

I heard Finch say “Huh?” but he appeared to have stopped crying. I looked about quickly and noticed that, despite the exploding air, everything appeared to be much the same as before, though the torches lighting the room were flickering a lot more. What I was more curious about is who said that to begin with.

The door to the Guildmaster’s chamber opened, and from outside, three very familiar and fat faces sauntered into the room. They walked right past us, and their leader walks right up to Wigglytuff and presents a Perfect Apple to him. There was no mistaking it – it was definitely a Perfect Apple, and not a cheap knockoff.

And if you didn’t figure out who the visitors are yet, you aren’t smart enough to read this book.

“Here you go, a genuine Perfect Apple,” the Chief said with a small flourish. “Please accept it as our token of friendship.”

“Oh, wow! You went and got it just for me?!” Finch responded ecstatically, jumping right out of his chair. “Yay! Thank you! Friends! Friends!” He then took it and balanced it on his head.

This event has made me think of Finch as one of those people who starts off the mornings being really grumpy but is just fine and dandy once he has his Perfect Apple.



“Th-Thank you so very, very kindly!” Chatot exclaimed, his voice still shaking from the trauma of the previous event. “Thanks to you, we’ve all been spared a catastrophe!” Then he turned to us, and adopted an angry voice. “Hey! You two! Quit dozing and show your respect and appreciation!”

“I’m not dozing, Chatot; my ears are sensitive and they hurt!” I protest.

“No, no, it’s quite all right,” the Chief answers. “After all, your guild has been very generous and hospitable to us. It’s only right that we try to repay that favor in our own way.”

“Ah! I see that you’re the most admirable of Pokémon,” Chatot responds, thus confirming my notion that he is indeed a bumbling idiot and unable to see anything negative about Team Skull. I mean, come on, Chatot. Team Skull. That should be a huge hint. Not quite as big of a hint as Team Meanies, but I digress. “To be able to embark on an expedition with someone so noble as you... It will be truly inspiring!”

“No, no! You will be the ones who inspire us. Truly, we look forward to our expedition. It’s late now, so we’ll be off to bed. Until tomorrow then. Chaw-haw-haw!”

“Thank you!” Finch calls out as they leave. “Good night! Friends! Friends!”



There was nothing left for us to do there, so shortly thereafter we excused ourselves as well, I also continuing to apologize for failing to get Perfect Apples. Chatot was still very angry at us, but Finch appeared to be a bit more forgiving. Still, Chatot was the one giving us our jobs, so we were basically at his mercy until further notice.

“You okay, bro?” Rayne asked, as I was jotting out the last events of our day.

“Yeah, I’m fine, sis. Aside from my ears ringing a bit, but that will subside soon enough.”

“I can’t believe the nerve of those guys! I really just want to...how’d you put it? Drop them? How does one ‘drop’ someone else, by the way?”

“Off a cliff, preferably.”

“But didn’t we establish that there’s a safety net at the bottom of this cliff?”

I shot her a look and raised an eyebrow.

“...Oh. That’s right.”

“In all fairness, sis, I really just want to get to sleep. This whole day is just really annoying me, and sleep helps to relieve stress, so as soon as I write up today’s events in our logbook...which is almost full so I’ll have to ask for a new one soon...I want to just ease my stress with sleep.”

“Aw. I’m sorry, bro. Is there anything I can do to cheer you up?”

“I don’t know, but while I was in the Guildmaster’s chamber, I noticed something after Team Skull came in. I’ll tell you in the morning. Good night, sis.”

With that, I put my logbook away, and using our treasure bag as a pillow, I laid myself down to sleep. I was then promptly shaken awake five seconds later.

“Tell me now, bro!”

“Okay, but as soon as I do, we’re both going right to sleep. Deal?”

“Deal!”

“Right after Team Skull came in, did you notice that Chatot was a bit more yellow than usual?”

“No, why?”

“Because Skuntank was buttering him up.”




Team SOLO So Far:

DNA lv. 12
Rayne lv. 12

Bronze Rank (240 / 300)
Bag Size: 24